I'm not sure how I feel about this. <P>S went to his dad's today at midafternoon. I took D to a book festival and back to her dad's later. Wife # 2 met me at the door (I like her much more than I like her husband) and I asked her about son's cartoon viewing when he is there. [Son is ADHD child and going through period where he's not exibiting appropriate behavior when he's upset. I wonder how much is related to digimon and megazord (?) cartoons that he might be watching on Saturday mornings. (So much for sleeping a bit later for mom.)]<P>So she tells me about this new medication she's read about and how she's looked some stuff about ADHD up on the computer......and she invites me in to see this stuff. <P>I start to give her some recommended reading ideas and I am suddenly overwhelmed.<P>This woman who has been in his life for about two years is doing stuff my x, the child's father, would never do.<P>And I am an ADD adult. Would x read a word about this before the divorce? <B>NO!</B> [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] Once I figured out what was driving my behavior that made him nuts, would he discuss it to see if that new knowledge would help us find new common ground? <B>NO!</B> [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]<P>In the three or four years that S has been seeing his LCSW, has x picked up the phone to make an appointment to meet with this woman? <B>NO!</B> When S's psychiatrist sent x a letter, 18 months ago asking for him to set up an appointment, did he do it? <B>NO!</B> [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]<P>So, speaking quietly, I looked at wife #2 and told her that x had never been willing to read a book about ADD before our divorce and that he had never had appt's to meet with these people. And that I had to go.<P>I'm a very transparent person on some things and by the time I got out of their apartment, I'm sure wife # 2 knew I was almost in tears.<P>I knew what I was doing when I said those things. I knew my pain was mine and that I didn't need to share the stuff about me. And I knew that whe might think less of her new "man" (?) after I told her the stuff about S, but I was so moved that this woman probably cares more than the child's father cares.<P>And I know it will come back to haunt me. x will probably verbally rough me up - or do it with his attitude - sometime soon. He's good at emotional abuse. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]<P>And I'm mad at myself and I'm glad I did it. Both. Sort of. I think. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

<p>[ October 16, 2001: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]

cinderella<BR>Take care of your self. He has his own life and you have to live yours. X didn't own you before and even now. Be your self, you know you and the hell with X. No LB in here at all. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] When I am done w/ plan A/B and no result, I will be in plan C , I will not look back and find new W that will take my best and care for it. I will start my new life the day of my D.<BR>Take care & be strong,<BR>Hadi