hmm<p>[ October 21, 2001: Message edited by: T-L-C ]

Hey Mitzi,<P>Ok, I am one that tried my best to do a Plan A but failed miserably. My emotions at the time took over and I said some not so nice things to Valerie. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] Me bad. Something about being nice to her while she snuck around with Brian just didn't go over well with me. Right now mentally, I couldn't be better, and could execute a perfect Plan A, but, alas I am no longer interested in a relationship with her.<P>Things seemed to have made a significant turn around, now **she** is calling me [after 2 and some odd point years after D day] being all nice and wondering how things are going for me, how are the kids, what are you doing, do you still drink the cough medicine out of the bottle, well, you get the point.<P>She just called me last week with some most important news that I had to be made aware of immediately if not sooner. Yes, Squiggy [the dog] had a flea. I was shocked and was near racing up to her house with lights and siren blaring. [J/K] Then I find out some more disturbing news... he is allergic to the flea shampoo. CRIPES KATEY!!! What's next? Please, no more news, I have a bad ticker [oh, wait, that's her] alright I have a big nose, a hook for a hand and foot and just can't take this anymore.<P>Funny how she kind of down played Brian falling off the roof and breaking both legs and a wrist. She complained about the ambulance crew [all of which I know personally] and was trying to elict a response from me. "He should have been flown out by Medevac" Um... I wasn't there and don't know what happened... sounds like he survived the trauma. I think she needed some stroking at the scene and everyone in EMS here knows our story. Damn EMS grapevine. <P>I was thinking, man, is it ever good that I kicked you out. Geez, B has suffered 4 fractures since linking up with her. She does have bad Karma. I do feel bad about the remark I made that she is just pissed because a house fell on her sister. [Wizard of Oz] I didn't say it out loud, just thought about it, ok... I said it once in the past. Ok... ok... maybe twice, but, that's it. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Alright where was I going with this? AAHHHH, can you E your number? G lost it in the move. Moose7771@AOL.COM That was it. I think I went on a tangent. Sorry, just got back from a 16 hour shift and have to be back in at 0800.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>The Village Idiot.

Ok Zippy!!<P>I think that was the best response so far! LOL LOL<P>Don't feel bad, I didn't do a perfect Plan A either! Oh well! <BR>Yeah, I'm emailing ya my # now. Tell Gina to give me a call sometime and give me the scoop! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Mitz [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi ya Mitzi!<P>I Plan A'd for 10+ months. And I did a damn good job too. My H told me he started to love me again. Only thing is, my situation was pretty severe to start with .... so I ended up D.<P>Jo

To everyone,<P>Thanks for the replies!! I hope I got to the point I was trying to make!<P>Plan A and Plan B are about YOU! Not your spouse! It's a plan to make sure that you have no regrets about letting your spouse go. And it's designed to make the transition easier on you emotionally. Believe me, it's saved my sanity more than once!<P>Mitzi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hello,<P>Been here since January, under my old(LOST grr) Name Learning AS I GO.<P>This board, and plan A saved my marraige. My love for him aside, I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt I wouldve lost him with out my freinds here and plan A.<P>I plan A'd from February through June. Early Feb. I am a person that is lead by my emotions, so I did LB alot when I was hurting (Read=all the time)<P>I have become a better person because of plan A. Dare I say, I am grateful for my despair and his choice to leave in January. (We are now reconciled.)<P>Here's the WONDERFUL part of plan A and meeting someone else's needs (I never did prior to his Affair and D-Day)<P>I am happy.<P>For the first time in my entire life.<P>Ecstatic for everyday I am given.<P>I love and appreciate my H, my children.<P>And, occasionally I find myself loving something about me.<P>Life is good,<BR>Dara

I Planed A for a very long time, very well for the 1st yr but not as well after we moved to Singapore it was harder when you know you are being played for a fool, not that I ever LB or anything, I just didn't try as hard & never did lose all the weight I would need to lose to make STBX happy, but you know when he finally quit fence sitting, quit his job, packed us up & moved in with the OW, I was glad it was finally over. <P>I have very few regrets but guess what he has lots. I have been getting emails where he says things like I don't what went wrong, I am sorry for how things turned out, it make him sad, that he really didn't want this, I finally sent him an email that said you know unless you are leaving OW I don't need to hear if you are sad or not, that I didn't want a divorce, still don't, but if you have doubts & uncertainies find a counselor.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Originally posted by Nyneve:<BR><STRONG>quoted by Nyneve<P>Truthfully, yes, I did run like hell, but not until after I'd done all I could to restore the marriage. I look back all the time, trying to learn from my mistakes.<P></STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Nyneve I know what you are saying it took alot for me to finally run like hell too. I went through 17 years of him being a WS the first year of marriage, then other years alcoholism, emotional abuse, physical abuse. I tried 14 years of my marriage. The last three just totally lost it with shock and sadness that my marriage is now over. I still tried those 3 years, went to counseling with 3 counselors, each time hoping for a different opinion and was basically told my mind can't take being married to him anymore. I was devastated and tortured for three years. I can't do it anymore.<P>I think the term "never look back" is taken out of context. When I used it in a thread, I always thought the term "never looked back" came from the bible story about Sodom becoming such a sinful city that God destroyed it. Lot's wife looked back, meaning she mourned for that sinful city, he turned her into a pillow of salt. I am not saying, my marriage was sinful, but it was destructive, to the point that I starting to lose faith in prayer. It was also putting my life at risk every day and my children's emotional health, if they would have walked in on the abuse. <P>I see my stbx constantly looking back and dwelling over his mistakes, and the mistakes made my his family in his childhood, mourning what he never had instead of what he had now. He made his life miserable because he always looked back instead of forward. We do need to learn from our past mistakes, but only to the point of it being healthy. We see the mistakes, make a change as best we can and then move forward with a renewed knowledge of what to do in the future. I am moving forward, I am learning everything about what I can do to have a new better life for me and my.<P>I'm glad for those who can still work on a marriage. I believe those people are moving forward too, just in a different direction than I am, they are moving forward to improve their marriage. It's sad that some of us are just forced to move on and have no choice.<P>Take care,<BR>ANNA<p>[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]