Hi everyone-<P>It's the first time I've been able to log on since Friday. My WH came and got the kids Sat. night for pizza. He was nice, but standoffish. He had the sense not to bring the OW with to pick them up - Thank God! I had the baby nursed, changed, all ready to go. He asked if it would be possible to drop her off with the sitter early so that they could have an uninterrupted meal. I told him the sitter wouldn't be home until 7:00 so no, he said oh well, no problem. He then asked for any tips that would help with the baby. This is his child, not just mine. She is his fourth on top of it, and he has no clue what she likes because he has spent so little time with her. She is almost three months old, it's about time he starts bonding. I told him what she likes, etc. I was actually bummed because she seemed sleepy and I thought that she would sleep through the whole thing.<P>I guess his nervousness was felt by the baby. She cried the entire time they had her. When he dropped her off at my friend's afterwards she was screaming. When my friend commented that she seemed a little fussy he said, "I'll say, this is what she's done the whole time and I tried everything K told me. My friend said that he seemed very tense and on top of the baby was asking questions about what I was doing, how long I'd be out etc.<P>On Sunday I asked the kids if they had fun. They of course said yes. They said they had to be extra good because the baby was so fussy. My oldest said that nothing that Dad did worked. I asked if the OW tried and she said yes but it didn't help and she gave the baby right back. She said that the three year old had also spilled a full soda and the OW had to clean it all up because Dad had the baby.<P>Needless to say, I'll bet the two of them were more than ready to drop the kids off with the sitter. To top things off my WH had pulled vsomething in his groin at work that afternoon, so I have a feeling it was a relatively tame weekend, but who knows.<P>I haven't talked to my WH snce then so it will be interesting to see how he acts or if<BR>he says anything. Hopefully this added a bit of reality to their fantasy situation,<BR>but I'm not holding my breath! This is such torture!<P>K

K<BR>YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Good for you that you didn't let him drop the baby off eairly. I'm so glad!!!!!!!!!!!<P>You didn't have to do anything to wreck the evening, it happened naturaly.

Marry-<P>Now if only I knew how my H and the OW perceived the evening. He hasn't called yet which is weird for him, he always calls Sunday nights before the kids go back to school. I'll keep you posted. Keep up the great work on Plan A and let me know how things are going with your D.<P>K

K<P>Perhaps the baby could invite DADY over to get to know him better. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <P>We haven't heard form D since her Dad sent out the payment books. She has been invited for dinner this weekend, brothers B-Day. We'll see. I've learned from our writing that I'm NOT going to say anything about it. If it does come up, I will shrug and then say "I'm so sorry" and then "so, do you want to pay with Master card or visa"? In the nicest of ways. We are keeping this "just business".<P>It sounds like you are getting a chance to be the nice understanding one. You did all you could to make sure the baby was taken care of before you sent her off. You told H what to do if she got fussy. What more could you do?! She did the rest! GOOD GIRL!<P> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <P><BR>Now you need a chance to have him tell you about it so you can be "Understanting, and caring". It's YOUR turn to be the "nice one". I know you have been. My hope is that OG will start to freek and LB. She won't at first but having "the kids" to shaperone will ceese to be romantic. <P>Say, GOOD JOB three year old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>Spilling the drink on the table, how great is that!!!! You need to give this kid a prise!!!!!!!!!<P>I'm so loving this [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <BR>you are doing great.<P>BTW, I hope your friend said something like "I shouldn't tell you who she's with" or "she told me not to tell you .......", when your H asked about you. "mystery"<P>You'll hear from him, I just know it!

Hi Marry-<P>I hope your daughter comes over for dinner on her brother's birthday. I like the idea of you not bringing the money up. You know she has the payment coupons by now and so she's probably expecting you to mention it. When you don't it will be unexpected so she will. I like your game plan. You have set expectations but are keeping them separate from your feelings - totally Plan A. You are getting so great at this.<P>Last night was my son's first night in Boy Scouts. Dad had said he'd try to come and bring him because he knew it was a big deal. He said he had to work that night so it might be difficult, but he'd call to let us know what he could do. Well, no call, no show. Luckily my son was so excited about going that he didn't seem to notice.<P>I don't know if my H is still upset about Sat. night or what. It is totally unlike him to go more than one night without at least calling and we haven't heard from him since Sat. <P>Tonight is his scheduled night so I know we'll see him. I wonder what he'll be like and I wonder if he'll bring up Sat. Not talking to him since he picked up that night has given me time to get my emotions in check. I was really bummed on Sun., I always am when I know that he and the kids have been with her. I can't imagine what people whose WS's OP lives in the same town do. I'd be so bummed. Anyway, I'm calm and non-emotional and so tonight should go well for me. Plan A all the way!<P>As for what happened on Sat. night you're right about me doing what I could to help him. I had the baby fed, changed and ready to go. She should have been easy to take care of. As for the three year old spilling the soda - perfect! Nothing that happened that night was planned or orchestrated, it was just typical stuff when kids are involved. Hopefully the more the kids are involved the more reality and clarity it will add to their relationship. I mean they're not her kids she can take them or leave them, but he can't. It's time they start looking at things like this. At least I'm praying they will. <P><BR>As for him asking what I was doing, I'm not sure what was up with that. He had no clue what I was doing and my friend didn't tell him. She just told him that it was a big night so her daughter was sleeping over because I assumed I'd be late. He's got so much to lose, I just wish he could see his way out of the fog he pulled himself into!<P>I'll keep you posted. Good luck with your D!<P>K