There you go sweetie... It was my intent to get you to smile...sorry I failed. I warned you I was a brat. So I will be trying something not quite so annoying next time.<BR> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Take care possum.<P>Randy<p>[ October 16, 2001: Message edited by: Randy0220 ]

It hurts when you don't understand and you still love and care jackie, I am sorry you are going through this. You deserve so much more. I asked a friend yesterday who has been divorced awhile when it stops hurting and my freind said it seems the pain is always there. I read it is important to plan b so we loose love for other person and heal. I don't really have an answer I just want it to stop for all of us. You keep taking care of yourself, you have been so wonderful here and you deserve some peace you have been in my prayers

Geez, Randy, what did you do to my thread???<P>Thanks to all of you who were once again with me in my bad times. I have felt very low, and i am hoping that it won't last as long as it has before. We'll see.<P>It's times like this I am glad i have responded so many times to people's posts....cos there is such comfort and good wishes here. I know we are all going through our own pains, and I thank you all for finding the strength to help me through mine.<P>Update from this morning:<P>One of his "messages" said to sms him about a good time to call. Did he call??? No.<P>Also the friend i wrote to in SA is hurt, she emailed back, and said she hasn't discussed this with OW...but the fact that she didn't acknowledge the relationship in any real sense, just makes me sad. I know she is trying not to hurt me, but I would just like her to be honest with me, and say, yes she knew all along, and that it was getting more serious since i left...just some credit for my intelligence, huh? It's hard for her i know. And it's really selfish of me, but I can't have her in two camps. Am I wrong?<P>Jacky<P>PS RANDY...please edit your post to fix my thread. It's annoying the crap out of me!!!

Nina,<P> I'm so sorry, i've been looking for you in recovery and saw your reply to OneDay. I understand your anger, it is your H who has no self respect, not you. I know ranting and raving may feel good, but I have to agree with others here who have said to protect your children from the outburst. Remember they cannot fully understand what your H has done, and no child deserves to lose the expectation that both of their parents are good people. I have been down this road and my mother made a point of not letting on what was happenning in their M until I was old enough to understand. It has forever altered my perception of the man my father was.<P>My advice is to steer clear of your H. Don't talk to him, don't correspond, be as cold and removed as you can be. Not nasty, but cool. A wise person once told me that hate and anger both show the person you still care. Indifference however shows your H, that to you, he isn't even worth your hatred.<P>If your still on i'm over in recovery. Good to get in touch again, sorry it was under such bad circumstances.<P>hugs,<P>Danafox

(((((((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))))))))

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><STRONG>He never will wake up...I think they are very happy together. </STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, I'll have to take issue with that definition of "happy." They're amused, diverted maybe, but happy? In the backs of their minds are little voices saying "s/he cheated on someone else... when will s/he cheat on me?" No one can be happy in a relationship based on decieving others; the seeds of the relationship's destruction are sown at it's beginning.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><STRONG><BR>Sorry for being so down, and thanks guys, especially dabigtrain, who I know doesn't post much anymore.</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Will you quit apologizing for feeling whatever you feel? You have a right to feel down. It reminds me of my mom, for the year after my dad died, asking her doctor why she was having trouble sleeping and having anxiety attacks out of nowhere. He finally said "of course you feel lousy, your husband of 38 years just died. I'd be worried if you didn't feel lousy."<P>I didn't realize I don't post as much anymore, but now that I think of it, you're right. I guess I'm not posting my story much, because it's kind of static right now, and I don't post on many other threads, because most people here seem to be at stages I've not been in, and so I don't feel I have much useful advice. But I do read your threads, among others, and you're always in my prayers, Jacky.<p>[ October 16, 2001: Message edited by: dabigtrain ]

man, what is with this $&^%$&^& thread?

so, we are finally back in the game. <P>sis, i am so sorry that you are still going through. <P>i can't wait for you to get where i am. i know how much it hurts and i know why. because you gave him your total you and he is rejecting it. it's those feelings of abandonment that make you feel so hurt and it makes you constantly ask the question, "what is wrong with me?" <P>There is nothing wrong with you... believe me... it is his loss and his problem. When you finally get through this crap you will not hate him at all. you will just feel free and happy and you will not even care what the hell he is doing. then he will wake up and relaize the he lost you because of his foolishness... ooops, his bad... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<P>as i always say, "this too shall pass"... it has for me and it will for you too...<P>love kim...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{jacky}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

GRRRR I am wondering if I bump this enough times if we can then move on to a page we don't have to scroll across to read<P>-Kat-

bump

bump

bump

Gee now everybody hates me. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Perhaps they should fix that little bug. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<P><BR>Bye now

Jacky,<P>Sorry you are down, like everyone else I know how you feel just when you think you can see the sun peeking out, the WS does something to sink you again [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Twice in the past 2 wks, my STBX has made statements that he wishes things had not happened or he all he really wanted was a family, guess he has a fight with OW when he says these things, but I wish he leave my mind along.<P>I admire you so much for leaving SA, I know how hard that was, <P><BR><B>You are one strong lady, & don't you ever forget it!</B>

hi, i KNOW how it feels. My husband has been gone about 1 month now. I am so low is is awful - there are days when I think I am doing well, well moments of days anyway... then I get anxious and worried. I have to get a grip. He does not want to work on our marriage... he claims he is not seeing the woman that he started out seeing which may be a lie. He is now saying I must leave him alone for now... maybe we can work it out after a divorce? Yea, right... and that if I will just say a divorce is fine, he may do a 180 and beg me back.... ha ha- sounds unrealistic. He will not talk and blames me for destroying the marriage and will make little if any reference to his part in this. Says it is over, and what is wrong is btwn us, not about her. HA! B....ch!!! Well, anyway. I know how it hurts, and I am praying for the restoration of a great marriage... that I helped mess up! I feel really quilty for my part. Thanks, honey

Nina too,<P>I am sending you a truckful of hugs, via internet. Hope you get them soon.<P>My brain is in another time/space continuum right now, so please take anything I say with a grain of salt. INHO, you should just stay clear of H, don't bother unloading. I think you said that I must feel good to have blown up. Well, good is not exactly the word I would use. It is more like exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsettled. I was feeling relieved for part of today, but tonight I am feeling little relief and a lot of that other stuff. Wish I could be more helpful.<P>OneDay

Thank you guys,<P>For some reason I don't feel so bad about it today. At least it lets me write a true Plan B letter to him if I want to...cos now i CAn mention OW, knowing there IS a relationship though he flatly denies it.<P>Thank you so much for all your wonderful kind thoughts, hugs and prayers.<P>Love and light,<P>jacky