I have visited this website several times a day for the last couple of weeks. My husband asked me for a divorce last week after only 8 short months of marriage. I read all of the basic concepts and see how our marriage traveled through all three states of marriage. I even printed these off and asked him to read them. He said that it's only one person's opinion and has no relevance to the way things happenned in our marriage. He was definitely in the giving stage when we were dating, and has been a taker since the very day of our marriage. This caused me to get angry and wonder if he even wanted the marriage in the first place. Now, of course being in withdrawal, he says that he's not sure he ever loved me and if he did, the "water under the bridge" keeps him from remembering or wanting to again. Is there reason for me to hope that he will see that life w/out me will make him realize what he is giving up so easily? Any advice would be appreciated.......

I know my H is doing the same thing, we talk when he wants about what he wants, and it ends when he wants, then he leaves me here (with two kids)so HE can go think. like I said in my other reply if you need to talk,vent I'm here and so is everyone else.<BR>I know its hard to think of but dont let it get to the point where you cant be friends, becose remember thats how it all started in the first place.<BR>LMS<BR>p.s beware of molly she will make you smile, even if you dont feel like it :-)<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday<P>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited July 22, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited July 22, 1999).]

Hi there,<BR>I looked up your post after reading LMS. Sorry to hear your having trouble. Dosen't it just suck when they say "I don't love you"? I hope they don't realize how much that hurts, I would really hate to think they do it on purpose. Eight months or as in my case 25 years it makes no difference. Don't you sometimes wish you could say: Well! Well Buster, "I" tricked you sucker, "I" never loved you either!! (pissed off) <BR>Ahh, That felt good. Amazing how lying to yourself and acting like a kid on the playground can do wonders for your soul.<BR>You said something earlier about friends and family giving lots of advice. (or was that LMS. Anyway, sometimes friends give a little too much advice I think. Sometimes I feel bad for my friends, they seem to think they have to try to help me solve this or they think I need to "Take him for all he's got"<BR>I love that one. My answer is, "What the heck (Shhh! I say Hell, But don't tell, I trying to stop cussing) My answer: "What the heck does he have? Everything we have we built together< I don't want OUR life without him in it!" That kind of shuts them up. But most friends really mean well, they try to help but I find this board and Michelles Divorcebuster is alot better. If you can't find someone to talk to here that really understands then you looked very hard.<BR>Are you living alone now? That can't be fun.<BR>Have you tried reading divorce busters? There's another forum there. But really read the book I think it might help you deal with him in withdrawal. The book helps alot.<BR>Now lets see. Have you laughed today? Did you smile? I on a crusade here. Wanta help? We're looking for Angela! I think she was abducted by some really mean people in authority (you know the type, "How do you feel about that" DOCTORS) I think they caught her skipping in the office! She was led astray, broke out singing and skipping around the office till they caught her. (I added the singing part) She was smiling, it was her Birthday and they have her, they're going to hold her prisoner until she tells them what is so amusing that she's smiling. But she won't tell that SKIPPING makes you <BR>Honest I don't drink!!!<BR>We did this once, (the skipping I mean) Several of us at work. We worked for 27 hours straight and were so punch drunk we tried this out. Trust me here, One of the most amusing things you will ever see is several people in hardhats and steeltoed boots skipping and smiling. Try it sometime. Bet you don't dare! Smiling is the first step to taling care of you. When you take care of you and you start liking you again then your already half way there. I'll write back later or see you on LMS post<BR>Take care <BR>MOLLY<BR>Did ya smile? did ya? come on fess up! Ya did.<BR>Oh darn it,<BR>Are you going to make me talk about (BLUSH) SEX to get you to smile. I am much too much of a prude for that, besides it's been a while here! Guess I'll go see if I can find something on Tv with Mel Gibson. (sigh)<BR>Psst! (This is a secret) In the movie braveheart, if you time it just right and pause the tape when Mr gibson is galloping (Well the horse is galloping) but anyway the man is wearing a skirt and the wind lifts..........Blush! Blush! <BR>Yep I saw IT. A SMILE Bet you thought I meant IT.<BR>Bye<BR>MOLLY

molly you are two much I am LMAO thank you sweety!!!!!!<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

LMS and Molly -<P>you really are two of my favorite people here. I appreciate you so much - my smile is back...what goofballs are we.<P>I will catch up with all soon. THANKS for missing me!

Angela,<BR>So how did you escape? Did you tell those bad men "It's really all his fault and honest I wasn't skipping-I was just in a hurry!" <BR>Where have you been? Is everything OK? I'm so glad your smile is back, mine slipped slightly, but I have a problem lately keeping it away. Not too bad a problem, that! <BR>Come on back to "Helpme", we're yakking there and "ldlb" joined us. We're going to post there until it's too full and then start new.<BR>How are things going with your H. I haven't heard from you in a long time. Since your Birthday!!! Are you Bumming cause your a whole year older!!! Isn't there some sexy as hell model that says we woman don't get older we get better? She's lieing through her $10,000 teeth but it is a good thought!<BR>I'm going to be expecting you to write again soon. Vacation is over. If I, the person who takes 6 months to retreive a christmas card on my e-mail, can come on here regularly, then so can you. Tada. That was my being bossy for the day. I'm trying to ween myself from it but sometimes it just slips out. <BR>Love Molly<P>P.S. Hey guys, You know what I have been doing? This sounds silly, but try it. NO, not skipping! That got Angela in BIG trouble.<BR> Anyway I have made a deal with myself here. I'm not going to go back and edit any of these posts. I have been writing things as I think of them (Scary thought there!), writing what I feel. Kind of like a living diary. Sometimes I go back and read what I wrote and I can see things I didn't even know I felt at the time. You know what I mean? Like I can see when I was sad and happy and goofy..etc It helps a little. You get the emotion out. When you think of others problems and you see that others are, some worse some better and you want to tell your thoughts. Trust me that's an entirely new concept for me. Keep smiling. <BR>