Found these pieces here and there and they were profound for me - maybe for you, too.<P>I don't believe that he didn't know he was hurting me with his lies. Indeed, I even think he was occasionally blithe about it. This strikes me as the true heart of the whole matter. I believe that it is immoral to be cruel. No matter how weak you are, willful cruelty is immoral. There are no excuses.<P>It is a fundamental and absolute violence to willfully withhold from anyone the information they would need to make clear and rational choices about the substance and direction of their life.<P>Betrayal was something completely foreign to me. It took its power from the fact that the person I loved most had found the worst way to hurt me. It is like the abuser who feels better for taking his wife to the emergency room after beating her up.

Quote<BR>"It is like the abuser who feels better for taking his wife to the emergency room after beating them up."<P>I love this quote my wife left me 4 day before father’s day with my kids and half the house in a truck. She left a card with $2500 in bills under it. Then she took money out of the bank and drove 1200 miles to our old town. I went there one week later and one of my two children wanted to come home with me well infract both did but the older did not want to leave her mother. Now 4 months later I live pay check to pay check. I know now one out here I am just living and working and taking care of my child. <BR>On Saturday I call to talk to my other daughter and then I talk to my wife. She told me "I know how much I hurt you I am sorry" "I will always love you but can not live with you" This is an understatement on fathers day i got drunk and thought about just killing myself all day. Then for 3 months after that I was a walking dead person. Now I am on anti depressants and sleep alone first time in 20 years. And she did not take me to no hospital she left me on the side of the road bleeding to death like road kill.<P>[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: ronnb ]<p>[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: ronnb ]

I am at a very angry stage too billbailey, and I just think everything he did was designed to make me hurt, angry enough to divorce him, and just plain mean. But I am trying to just forget what an alien he turned into and get on with my life.<P>ronnb, I know your pain, and I agree about the road kill thing. My H does not care what he has done to me....he is too busy having a good time with OW. They know full well that htey are hurting their spouses, but the selfishness they feel is too overwhelming for them to give a damn. I am getting selfish now too.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky