Why is it that I ask myself this same question all the time... How do the WS go on with their lives, like nothing has happen.<BR>My exh never looked back.<P>Don't they have any guilt ??<P>Why is the BS the one who ends up.....<P>1. Going to a therapist<BR>2. End up taking Anti-D's<BR>3. Reading info on affairs,moving on,<BR> letting go etc...<BR>4. Listening to relaxation tapes<BR>5. And, pray that we can just make it <BR> through another day.<BR>6. We end up in a lawyers office splitting<BR> up forks, knives and spoons..not to<BR> mention we feel like we're fighting for <BR> lives.<BR>7. Looking at the ws and wondering "what/who<BR> is that person I married??"<P>And the WS... they don't seem to be missing a beat in life... why??? They continue on like nothing has happen... My EX... still parties, golfs,fishes,boats,travels,plays the Disney dad at his convience..etc...etc, not to mention he parades around with his w**re like he has no shame !!!<P>I guess I just don't get it....<P>Just my thoughts today...<P>Scoick

Hey Sister -<P>I think it's because they have their heads so far up their arses they can't see straight! Hah! Got that one past the filter! <P>I wish I knew. It is horribly painful that WE suffer so badly while they just continue - and act sooooo cold. Like total strangers. How could I possibly have slept with that man, let alone loved him? <P>I think they think they've found the answer to their happiness in this OW - when what they don't realize is that they've taken all their unhappiness with them, and that this is just a distraction. That's what all of them were, just distractions for bored little immature boys. <P>I'm reading a book right now that is really really helping. I want to say it's called "It's our Turn" all about a survey taken of over-40 divorcees. I'll get the exact title for you - it's really helped because all of these women have gone on and gotten stronger and it makes you believe you can too. I got it at the library - If you haven't gone to the library lately, go get something to read. Something uplifting, something positive. <P>We have to let all of that baggage go so that we can grow into the people we're supposed to be, rather than the shadows we were, living to take care of him and our kids, and always putting ourselves last.<P>I said Hey Sister because your signature is so close to mine. If you're still reeling with this much pain and you've been divorced 6 months - I guess I've still got a lot more pain to get through, since mine only left a month ago.<P>Hang in there. We'll help you back up like you help us when we need it.<P>Teresa

Some of the things I have read say that they have moved on or mentaly divorced long before they left in most cases 2yrs in advance, we are just playing catch up with them, of course I think in the long run we come out the better people because we put more time and effort into ourselves in an attempt to save what we are loosing, but in many cases it is to little to late. Well I am thankful for what happened in someways, I almost feel she did me a favor, I have grown and learned things that I never would have if this didn't happen.

FFFFFFFFFFF<BR>FFFFFFFFFFF<BR>FFF<BR>FFF<BR>FFFFFFFFFF<BR>FFFFFFFFFF<BR>FFF<BR>FFF<BR>FFF<BR>FFF<P> OOOOOOOOO<BR>OOOOOOOOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOO......OOO<BR>OOOOOOOOO<BR> OOOOOOOO0<P> GGGGGGGGG<BR>GGGGGGGGG<BR>GGG.....GGG<BR>GGG<BR>GGG<BR>GGG....GGGG<BR>GGG....GGGG <BR>GGG......GGG<BR>GGG......GGG <BR>GGGGGGGGGG<BR> GGGGGGGGGG<p>[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Ms.O ]

Ms O,<P>Love the fog thing.<P>And I do have to say that it is probably correct about the divorcing emotionally long before they tell the spouse.<P>Is much easier, for them that way.<P>-Kat-

Yes, I agree, at least they separated from us years before the A. <BR>Truth for me is that I had a role in that story also! Not an A, but much more being about kids, house, job...slightly neglecting him.<BR>But all you wrote is truth - HE is living with OW completely, not old, but NEW BETTER way of life, more fun, trips, cinema, theatre, less job, obligations, kids in the doses HE chooses...what would Nina too call: LaLa land. <P>How long? How long is that possible? In my case obviously too long, maybe forever.<P>One more question: Don't they realy have any nice memory? (like my ex used to say+never turning back)<P>D<P>BS/female of 43<BR>together 21 yrs (from '79)<BR>married 19 yrs (from '82)<BR>2daughters 19 and 11 yrs<P>Dday 11/99<BR>separated 7/00 <BR>him moving the OW in the house 10/00<P>divorced 7/01<P>OD living with them<BR>YD with me<P>Each day more and more happy and satisfied,more and more successful in business, more and more money, less and less about kids (even OD finally escaping from there last few months-thanks God)<BR>BTW my e-mail is: dara@medri.hr if you are interested

They have nice memories, that they try to deny it is to painful for them to acknowledge the truth.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by betrayed and desperate:<BR><STRONG><BR>BTW my e-mail is: dara@medri.hr if you are interested</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Is your name Dara as well?<P>Dam, I thought I was inique!!

Still learning...<P>no my full name is Darinka but our administrator at the office made it shorter for e-mail.<BR>If you are interested write, I'll be glad.<BR>I must say I prefere e-mail, it's more intimate.<P>D