I was wondering do support groups like this prolong the pain. When is it time to leave a group? Reading other stories does it really help or prolong your own pain. In the beginning it helps but when does it start to hurt the process of recovery. I have noticed in myself that I may not feel real bad but I will read a post that bring back memories I wanted to forget.

ronn,<BR>I've been hare now about two and a half years.<BR>when it gets to be too much I take a break from coming here. I have though found this site to be my strength. Without what I have learned here I would havenever made it through what I did nearly as well.<P>Jill

I quess it becomes an individual choice and it would be different for everone, When it hurts I stay away. I have learned so much here from everyone, that I like to come back and support those who are in need, and yes I to am still in need many ways, I read an article somewhere that if there is still pain the you haven't dealt with the source of the real pain, Pain on the surface is only an indication that there is a deeper pain. I quess for me I need those reminders of where I was a year ago and how far I have come, I also need to look at my pain sometimes, each time i do I let go alittle more. Perhaps you need more or less, only you know what you need, and you will know when to stay away and leave a group

ronnb,<BR>I do believe that every situation is unique and that not every marriage can be saved.<P>I've actually gotten most of my strength from reading and my therapist. I got several books on surviving divorce at the library and a big chunk of it was to let go and start working on the new improved single you. That's where I am and it is really helping me a lot.<P>I know that most of the people here continue trying and trying and it's hard to keep reading about all the rejection and not relive it yourself. I have totally stopped trying to do anything other than survive this divorce equitibly. I don't want him back, under any circumstances, but I will have to deal with him for years and years because of our children. So the best thing for me to do is find my own personal strength and move on. There's a better life out there waiting for me.<P>Now understand, you've caught me on a good day. My dips and my highs seem to have swapped places so that there are more of the highs than the dips - and that feels really good. The pain has definitely lessened since I made the decision to move on.<P>No one can tell you what is right for your situation. I refuse to keep trying with someone who has totally rejected me and doesn't want anything to do with me. I deserve better than that.<P>Good Luck. If you find a board that's a better fit, please let me know, because you can never have enough friends.<P>t.

Ron, <P>it's up to you, maybe take breaks from<BR>here- and get out and start to live<BR>your life again..