I won't re-post my entire story here but if you have time please go back and read it. Basically, he cheated on me, I found out, he kept doing it and telling me he wanted a divorce. Then, he accepted a job out of state and moved without really consulting me. I tried and tried to convince him to give us a chance but he thought it was easier for us both to move on. Now, I am beginning to move on and now he says he realizes the mistakes he has made and that he had his priorities mixed up. Now, he says he will do whatever it takes. Well, now after all this time of begging and pleading, I don't know what I want. I know I love him and when he came home this weekend it was so easy to slip into our normal, confortable routines. It was wonderful to have him home. However, how would I ever trust him? My head tells me to move on and my heart tells me "why would I leave someone whom I love". I don't know how I will ever make this decision. How do you decide to walk away from someone you love? How do I stay and look forward to a life of mistrust and constant worry. I don't want to be the crazy person I became while we were dealing with all this. I need some advice and maybe a sign from God on which is the right road to take. Any advice or words of wisdom would really be appreciated.

I can't speak from experience, but when I read your post, it reminded me of the article at <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3600_state.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3600_state.html</A> - "The Three States of Mind in Marriage." It's worth a re-read. <P>Brief synopsis: there's Intimacy, Conflict, and Withdrawal. As a marriage flounders, partners move from Intimacy to Conflict, and then to Withdrawal, althought not always in sync. Often, one partner will move out of Withdrawal back to Intimacy- while the other, who was trying to pull his/her spouse out of Withdrawal, is still in Conflict. To quote: "The recipient of care is usually the first to return to the state of intimacy, and not the one who makes the greatest effort to save the relationship."<P>So, your situation sounds pretty normal and workable. That doesn't mean "go with the flow." The article suggests where to go next.

Do you have children, very important. If not then think of weather this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life wife. Its hard for anyone to tell you which road to travel. But if you love him and believe that you can move past this then give it a try. I don't think I could or would ever move out of town on my wife but maybe he needed to get his act together. Be careful and go to a good MC for help. Go with your heart if just for the chance it might work out this time. But be very careful and let him prove himself to you.

I am in a similar situation. Not sure if I should try and work it out or move on. You mentioned that you probably could not trust him again. He mentioned to you that he wanted a divorce and moved away, why has he now changed his mind? It's such a hard decision. What do you think if this quote "Maybe we have to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be greatful for that gift" Just a thought.