I have sat here and thought about this for a couple of days.<P>I have even cried over it.<P>I really had no intention of triggering anyones anger or trying to make anyone feel sad.<P>I live in a verbally/mentally abusive marriage that I came here to try and save.<P>In the course of getting advice and support I tried to offer the same.<P>Apparently I managed to dredge up bad feelings for Positivebryan and for MsAnna. That was not my intention at all.<P>I thought this was a place to come and not be judged. Yet it seems that is not always the case. <P>I am sorry that I ever answered the "why do men cheat" question because of some of the responses.<P>And as for MsAnna, all I was trying to do is give her a shoulder.<P>SORRY EVERYONE..I think I might just go back to lurking.<P>-Kat-

I didn't read the thread, but I admire you for standing up and apologizing, it takes a big person to do that. I think we all try to help but sometimes, we react rather than respond, in real life I have had to stop and think about what i am saying, we react out of our own experience and that is what you did I think. Keep trying to help there are those that need to draw from your experience. We are all hurting here and I don't think anyone does or says anything to hurt intentionally. take care of your self

Kat,<P>I read the thread, and I think that some if the people there got some triggers from your posts, and reacted by talking about WS's in general...like I do sometimes. Some people here are still extremely hurt by the betrayal; well all are, just that some still have extremely intense emotions about it. I go up and down on that...maybe some of those guys were on a downward run of the roller coaster when they read your posts.<P>I agree that in most cases there is no excuse for infidelity...heck if you want someone else, get out of the marriage first. But the real world doesn't seem to operate like that. <P>I don't feel that making disrespectful judgements about ANYONE here is called for, and I feel bad for you and the others involved that it got a bit heated there. <P>Please don't stop posting, I have valued your responses, and I appreciate your insight.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Kat,<P>I would do well to add my apologies to anyone offended by what I posted on that thread. I didn't want to offend anyone either, and I sure didn't want to scare anyone off the forum. I love the differing viewpoints, and give those who disagree with me a lot of credit. I love them all just for the fact that they respond to the posts.<P>This board would be a very boring place if we all agreed on everything. The various viewpoints are a resource, not a threat. And every so often, someone comes up with something when I least expect it that really rings a bell for me.<P>Please hang in there with us Kat, and everyone else too. The forum needs your input and your sharing. We are amongst friends here.

To all,<P>I agree that we need differing view points. But when you are already living in a marriage where there is a lot of name calling. It is very hard to offer yourself up for more.<P>Fine if you disagree with me, I have no problem with that...(ok well maybe a little bit), but argue with ME....don't call me names...don't make judgements and put me down.<P>I shared something that happened over 8 years ago, I left the marriage right after that because I knew that what I was doing was wrong, and I knew in my own heart that I couldn't have done it if I hadn't already know that.<P>I am now in a different marriage with a different set of problems. That I am trying desperately to resolve. I don't need to be attacked here as well as at home.<P>I have read letters here where my first instinct is to say....Wow!!! your really a ______!! but I don't....and if I can't offer some kind of encouragement or help I don't type.<P>Boy I guess that sounds like I really fell sorry for myself HUH?<P>-Kat-

Kat,<P>I have had my feelings hurt in here, I think just about everyone has at one point or another. There's so many different personalities and everyone in here is touchy because of their own pain they are in. I try hard to make the best out of a bad situation when this happens. I try to learn ways of not being pulled into the anger and bitterness. Sometimes I fail, but I get back up and try again. This is great way to practice the right ways to react when conversations become heated.<P>Take care and don't stress the little things girl, this will only hurt you.<P>ANNA

Kat,<BR>I feel that this is kind of a support group and I think that all points of view should be heard. If you have ever been in a support group there is alot of anger and finger pointing but there is also alot of love and friendship.<P>I feel everyones opinion is valid and that this board is not only for a select few. <P>For awhile this board had become really religous and chased some away. Now I feel it is getting hostile. It is just the differences in the situations and the people. <P>Jill

Thanks Anna,<P>And I saw your post to Bula, about her being owed and apology, I agree with that also. I know that she wasn't trying to start anything she was just looking for information.<P><BR>Ahhhhh the intenet<P>"The Information Higway" <P>-Kat-

Kat,<P>I finally answered your email this morning, had kind of a run down day yesterday. Hope you too are feeling better today.

((((-Kat-))))<P>Emotions seem to be running really high right now. Sometimes I get in a mood where I want to post a reply to everyone, try and help every single person, am just sure I can say something that will help, etc. ... and that's when I know it's time to sit back and just read for a while. It means my emotions are way too keyed up and I'm in 'nurturer' mode and ready to save the world, but I DON'T have all the answers.<P>I don't like to see some posts go unanswered, but when I really don't have anything constructive to add, I try to leave them alone and wait until someone who has 'been there' comes along to post.<P>Don't get too busy giving out hugs to remember that you need to stop and accept them sometimes too.<BR> [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Ok guys,<P>So I got knocked down. At 50 years old this is not the first time that has happened nor will it be the last...<P>Silly me I just keep getting up. So ok I am off my pity party now....<P>Still annoyed at being judged, but pleased with myself that all the nasty little comments that ran through my head...didn't come out my fingers.<P>So I guess to some extent I am learning to keep my mouth(fingers) shut on some occassions.<P>And as to me not posting....the only way that is going to really happen is if I don't come here at all anymore....<P>I am one of those.....I have a need to help... type people.<P>-Kat-<P>PS...bump...i answered your e-mail...lol

Kat...<P>I think there are times that everyones feelings/emotions are running on overload, mine included. What I'm always afraid of is that I'm afraid that someone will take what I say the wrong way... Its hard to type away with the mind racing. I would probably be alot easier to be able to jsut chat on the phone or something... that way one could explain themselves much better. <P>I do believe that everyone here means well..and I have come to realise that after I have posted one of my responses, I read it and think " thats not what I was trying to say"...<P>I takes a great person to do what you've done and that is to offer a apology.<P>Keep posting here... you offer good advice and insight..<P>Blessings, s<BR>s

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by William Shakespeare<BR><STRONG>The jury passing on the prisoner's life may in the sworn twelve, have a thief or two guiltier than him they try.</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Kat, it's me, the troublemaker Bula.LOL!
Please know that your input to my thread was so greatly valued. I need to know every angle to make sense of it. You stood alone & came forth as a ws female. Thank you, Thank you Thank you!!!!