I just love all the different views and opinions throughout this site! This is my first post. I admit of being a bit scared to write this in light of the more recents posts I've read but here's my concern for the moment. Hope you will all find time to offer me some words of personal insight or wisdom.<P>I am dating a man who's been divorced for a little over a year. He was separated about 6 months before filing. So in total he's been on his own for a year or so. We started dating in mid June 01. He has 2 kids in their late teens. One lives with him, the other with the mom. I have an 8 year old. His dad passed way when I was pregnant. <P>We have a very good relationship and are dating each other exclusively. We decided to introduce our kids to each other in August during an outing with all of us. Everyone got along famously. Since then, we continue to include all the kids together about once a month when both kids are with him. Here is the problem...BF's ex told me to my face she hates me and everything I represent. She said that as long as I am dating her ex-h that she cannot ever have a chance with "luring" him back. Her kids have told both their dad and I that they are happier now than they were when the parents were together. <P>When kids are with us, things are great. But the minute the one goes back to mom's they get the interragation. 50 questions about where we went, did I spend the night (which by the way is always a NO! - I won't do that to them or my child either) Did their father play with my child? Did we talk about her? You get the idea...<P>Sometimes I feel so frustrated. I have not done anything that is immoral. I didnt have an affair with him. We met well after his divorce was final. Both BF and I want this relationship to grow. We are now attending couples counseling to help deal with some of the irrational behavior displayed by the former wife. (that's another story in itself)<P>How do you nurture a relationship when clearly in my relationship, the former spouse has become somewhat of a roadblock at each new venture?

Hi Party...guessing the user name must reflect the number of people in family life right now...<P>Anyway, I can't really comment on this one because I don't have the extended family and the kids but I believe there is a user here named "nyneve" who is in that very same place right now. I hope she sees this and replies to you.<P>Just wanted to move this back up since no one has responded to your question. I hope you continue working hard a making your relationship work<P>Skip

I know it is hard stepping into the role of the step parent or step girlfrien, I don't know what to call you, either way kids will adjust and you just have to deal with her, he has to choose his life and what he wants, the counseling is good, this sounds like it might be going somewhere for you. Just don't let her beat you down. take care of yourelf<P>I am dating a man who's been divorced for a little over a year. He was separated about 6 months before filing. So in total he's been on his own for a year or so. We started dating in mid June 01. He has 2 kids in their late teens. One lives with him, the other with the mom. I have an 8 year old. His dad passed way when I was pregnant. <P>We have a very good relationship and are dating each other exclusively. We decided to introduce our kids to each other in August during an outing with all of us. Everyone got along famously. Since then, we continue to include all the kids together about once a month when both kids are with him. Here is the problem...BF's ex told me to my face she hates me and everything I represent. She said that as long as I am dating her ex-h that she cannot ever have a chance with "luring" him back. Her kids have told both their dad and I that they are happier now than they were when the parents were together. <P>When kids are with us, things are great. But the minute the one goes back to mom's they get the interragation. 50 questions about where we went, did I spend the night (which by the way is always a NO! - I won't do that to them or my child either) Did their father play with my child? Did we talk about her? You get the idea...<P>Sometimes I feel so frustrated. I have not done anything that is immoral. I didnt have an affair with him. We met well after his divorce was final. Both BF and I want this relationship to grow. We are now attending couples counseling to help deal with some of the irrational behavior displayed by the former wife. (that's another story in itself)<P>How do you nurture a relationship when clearly in my relationship, the former spouse has become somewhat of a roadblock at each new venture?[/QB][/QUOTE]