Hey i just thought i would write and ask anyone if they have ever experienced what i have over the last week..I have a really good friend who is married and i've become friends with both of them. And when i stand back and look at my friend and her husband and just the way they interact i realize that maybe my marriage wasn't meant to be. Meaning they have been together almost 10 years and it's like this bond that they have and it's so wonderful. Just the way they treat and interact with one another you can tell they have so much love for each other..They have their conflicts but their bond is to strong to be broken. My marriage lack all that.. And my stbx i think realized that in the very start. Just a couple weeks after we were married(eloped) he was the best man in his buddies wedding. Thats when my stbx said that he thinks we aren't meant to be..I think he seen what his friends had that bond, just like i seen my friends have that same connection..We lacked that connection..Am i right or wrong??..Or does anyone know what i'm talking about is this bond rare in marriage or is this the way marriage should be..THe feeling of connection..We lacked it very much..Is what i've seen very rare and something that marriages don't have or is this the way marriage really should be..??

I think it is probably the way it is suppose to be, I don't think I ever had that either, I never felt the connection I thought I should, but then I figured that was just the way marriage was until i met someone new and she treated me so different and I felt different I realized that this is how I should have been treated by ex not by some new woman gshhh. I realized there were many things I never experienced in a marriage that I should have, I feel stupid that I didn't know better and I settled for less than i deserved. So I think you hit the nail for me also.

Jc's_Mommy,<p>Wow, I know what you mean. When my W and I were dating, we used to pray together. After we married, she would never agree to do that - would rarely even go to church with me. She prayed with OM on the phone, I suppose. It was like she never allowed me to get connected. She told me everything (well, almost), but still we weren't connected. She never listened to me. She would talk for hours about how she felt, and I would listen, then as soon as I started to tell my point of view, she would become annoyed and say "this is boring", or "you're an idiot" or "you never understand me" or something. She just wouldn't listen to me. I almost gave up trying. Just last night she was here and did the same thing - was telling me how she really didn't want to marry me, how her Mom threatened never to speak to her again if she didn't marry me, how she told her father as they began to walk down the isle "Papa, I can't!" and he replied "Go! ... like a soldier!" She has told me this so many times. Ok, I got it, you lied to me - never loved me, only married me to please your Mom, didn't mean your vows, etc. I got it. Now, let me tell you what I experienced, how it felt from my perspective - and suddenly she doesn't want to talk anymore - certainly not to listen. To me, our wedding was a beautiful, holy occasion and one of the high points we kneeling and praying alone together in the prayer room immediately after the cerimony. But to her, it was all an act - just a play to go through to please her Mom. How was I to know?<p>Sorry, I'm rambling here.<p>-AD