I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I had 5 wonderful days - and it all started falling apart on Tuesday when I saw him in court. I hate seeing him.<p>Then Wednesday morning I was coming downstairs to see who was on and discovered that my sump pump and quit working - and we were in the middle of an incredible rain storm. I have a very large basement - probably 2000 sf - and it's all soaked. That afternoon as the guys were trying to extract the water, the power went out and we think we had a tornado. The weather people say it wasn't but they didn't see the trees flying around, either. Of course, this resulted in a 5 hour power outage - read: sump pump can't work without electricity, so basement is soaked again.<p>I had just started making my darling daughter's 18th birthday dinner when the power failed.<p>Now we find out that H bought really cheap home owners policy - with no water damage coverage. They're talking $3000. <p>I took an ativan and went out and ran my errands. I also called my therapist for an extra appt - going at 9am tomorrow.<p>I feel so depressed I could just scream.<p>And I've got to get dressed up and go to an awards ceremony for my daughter tonight - and H will be there.<p>I've been obsessing all day - all the way back to HOW COULD HE DO THIS??!! Man, I thought I was way past that sh*t. I'm so bummed I'm gonna cry - and I don't want to cause I've already done my makeup.<p>Just call me Wendy (Whiner, that is). <p>Thanks for listening.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Hey Sweetie }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>I really feel for you! What a mess! I hope you can have a great day anyway, despite the sh*t that's hit the proverbial fan.<p>I certainly can relate to thinking you are over it all. Hey, girl, it's been two years for me and 99% of my days are great! The other 1% ~ which always seem to coincide with seeing/talking to STBXH ~ are crap.<p>Wedneday, I finally met with my H about filing a divorce. He's dragging his feet...not because he doesn't want it...because he's alergic to paperwork. I am almost at the point where I'm just gonna file the dang thing. <p>It became very clear during the meeting with him that he still blames for for "forcing him to move out of the house / end the relationship / have an affair/ blah, blah, blah." Man does that suck! When he's on the phone or a bit distanced from me, he actually takes most of the responsibility. But in person, he has his defenses up and there's this undercurrent that I'M the bad guy! It makes it soooo difficult to communicate with him.<p>Anyway, after we met, I was driving my 45 minute drive home just bawling. For me. For him. For the marriage. It just all sucks. (Have you noticed that that's one of my favorite phrases? And crap is one of my favorite words...so descriptive!). <p>I still struggle with figuring out my part in the marital problems, his part, etc, etc. It haunts me. I feel bad for whatever I've done...consiously or unconsiously....to hurt him. And I know in his heart, he feels the same. He had a horrible childhood and has never known unconditional love. But I thought that's what I was giving him. <p>I just wanted you to know that while it does get better and time does heal, I have finally accepted that "it" may never be completely over. I am really understanding the phrase "one flesh." As much as I try, I can't get every last bit of him out from under my skin. So, I'm just gonna have to do the best I can.<p>Anyway, I'm saying a prayer for you and hope that you can find peace even amidst the "tornadoes" in your life.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O<p>(PS Here's a cool website that helps....even for just a few minutes....<p>www.peacebreath.com

Almost,<p>I am so sorry you are having a down day.
Remember you said you are having more Peaks then valleys.<p>This is a valley, unfortunately when you are in a valley you are surrounded by peaks and can't see anything but what is in front of you.<p>That is the wonderful thing about Peaks, you can see the WHOLE WORLD.<p>So, now you know:
1)This is one less time you have to see him in court.
2) you have lousy insurance. Upgrade it.
3)Each time you see him it will get easier.
4)You are on the mend, he isn't.<p>With my ex. I asked him for help while I was home taking care of our handicapped son. In 1 year he gave me $40.00 for groceries.<p>I told him I was going to go on aid, and they would persue him for child support. If he didn't do anything to help.<p>He still didn't
I applied for aid...they hauled him into court and set child support.<p>He confronted me with the fact that "I got him involved in the court system"....wasn't his fault.<p>Finally I just looked at him and said."It must give you great comfort to have someone besides yourself to blame, I am glad you are comfortable with that."<p>Divorces are nasty, I still hate to see my ex but I know we have kids, so sometimes you do things in life that you hate. But you know that your Kids love you for it.<p>(((((hugssssssss)))))))))<p>-Kat-