|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562 |
hey lady...<p>i just saw your answer to my post on bigk's thread. my post was just a tad bit harsh. i am so sorry... that was something mike dealt with me on. he helped me to say things a little softer. i don't like to sugar coat and therefore, i am just a little too hard. i'm working on a good middle ground...<p>i am really a soft, compassionate person, but i have a strong, adamant opinion. i think most people call it opinionated... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] or maybe a**hole... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>ne way, it was just my opinion and nothing against you. i pray that you didn't take it personal and that i didn't turn you off to me. i really need this forum and have only gotten really close to mike and jacky... and you know mike is not lurking here anymore.. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i have appreciated your words of encouragement and the joy you share. if i need to ask for forgiveness, please forgive me...<p>sincerely...<p>kim...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
Kim,<p>It's okay..All's forgiven..<p>I'm very opinionated..myself when it 'appears' that it may be a control issue..<p>And I, like yourself, having been in many abusive relationships..and not feeling like I had a 'voice' or a 'say so' in anything.. want to make sure I get heard..I want to be Assertive (state my opinion) yet not be aggressive.. (force my opinion)-something I am still learning how to do..<p>And in reading his post..attacking her for not doing this and that..it triggered in me things I felt..(as some say..not living in reality, but living in the emotion triggered)<p>ie: Has she asked him for help in the past..and did he ignore her request for support/help-- (I had asked for support/help, wasn't heard, was ignored)<p>So I was trying to ask him (not attack him)..if this was the case..because he hadn't said..just that it's been like this for x many years..<p>But, yes, apology accepted..please accept mine as well, as I wasn't meaning to offend anyone either..was just trying to get them to look at how she may percieve things..<p>Bobbi
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562 |
Bobbi...<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ThornedRose: <strong>Kim,<p>It's okay..All's forgiven..<p>I'm very opinionated..myself when it 'appears' that it may be a control issue..<p>And I, like yourself, having been in many abusive relationships..and not feeling like I had a 'voice' or a 'say so' in anything.. want to make sure I get heard.. Bobbi</strong><hr></blockquote><p>you hit it right here... i guess we all react with regard to our own issues.<p>i think it would be a great idea to have a place where we could put all of the abusive men (something like hell)... their mouths would be permanently glued shut and they would have to listen to our opinions for all of eternity... wow, i like it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i think i might need some counseling myself... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] God Bless...<p>Love Kim...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> i think it would be a great idea to have a place where we could put all of the abusive men (something like hell)... their mouths would be permanently glued shut and they would have to listen to our opinions for all of eternity... wow, i like it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i think i might need some counseling myself... <hr></blockquote><p>HAHAHAHA...<p>Although, I don't know if that would be good enough for some of them..because they still would "hear" what was being said..they would need to live it..to fully understand..<p>Not sure what type/types of abuse you have been through..But I have some excellent books that helped me during my healing..and also through counseling which helped..just having someone there to share these things with and help you figure out how to change..which is why I am still in a support group now..<p>They are a safe group in which I can learn to express myself and none of them get angry and yell and scream and blame me for how they feel inside..and we all learn how to communicate on a new level..<p>the women's shelters offer counseling for free, or at minimal cost..and I have found a few churches in my area that have support groups that only cost for the price of whatever book/workbook they may use..<p>But, if you feel counseling will help .then go..not for anyone else but yourself..
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562 |
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ThornedRose: <strong> Although, I don't know if that would be good enough for some of them..because they still would "hear" what was being said..they would need to live it..to fully understand.. </strong><hr></blockquote><p> okay for those special guys, we can give them a extra special level of (hell) where they would have to live the life they forced others to live... what do ya think... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i have experienced all kinds of abuse. i was never molested, but have been raped by a stranger. i think it was better on the standpoint of recovery that it was somebody that i would never run the risk of seeing again. <p>my husband physically, verbally and emotionaly abused me for more than 16 years. he is a total controlaholic (is that a word? :eek [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] he still trys to inflict his control at times and try to regulate, but he pretty much has given up all rights to regulate when he insisted on a divorce... oh well his bad... i'm sure he would be in the line to a**hole island if there were such a place...<p>uh oh, did i just name it??? [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ October 26, 2001: Message edited by: idostylin ]</p>
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
Kim,<p>Nah..I think God has that one covered for all of them..more pain than I could ever wish uppon them...their conscience and yes, one day they will fully understand...<p> Okay..as for some books..<p>The Inner Child Workbook -Carolyn Taylor (haven't used it but is recommended by my support group)<p>Healing the Trauma of Abuse - A Woman's Workbook Mary Ellen Copeland <p>Life after Trauma- A workbook for healing - Dena Rosenbloom and Mary Beth Williams <p>Ten Days to Self-Esteem - David Burns<p>The Self-Esteem Workbook - Glenn Schiraldi<p>The Assertiveness Workbook - Randy Paterson<p>Healing For Damaged Emotions - David Seamands<p>Toxic Parents- Susan Forward (I say this one because we tend to marry what we understand to be love, and we learn that from our parents)<p>The Wounded Heart is geared more towards Sexual abuse, But, personally I think it is for anyone who has been abused as far as the damage abuse causes..<p>Hope these help...
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
1 members (Gregory Robinson),
942
guests, and
42
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|