Well, my H left at the end of August of this year and all I am told is that he doesn't love me anymore. He has left me and our two young boys. I was doing pretty good there for awhile with a few bad days but for the past two weeks every day has been a bad day. I am seeing a counselor and that seems to help some but I keep reverting back to pain and anguish my H has caused by leaving us. This week he said he saw an attorney and he is going to file for divorce. This whole thing still blows my mind but when I really sit and think about all of this I don't want him back in my life. There was too much emotional and mental abuse....of course, he would never admit to that. But I see it so clearly now that the fog has lifted. Even my family has seen it but they were scared to get in the middle of anything. This has just been really hard to deal with. My kids seem to be dealing with it better than I am. I haven't been able to tell anyone at my workplace about any of this. I don't feel comfortable, I am not really close to anyone at work. I have talked to some friends but everyone else has their own lives too. I have been trying so hard for the past month to make plans to go out with my friends and it just won't happen. I can't seem to find anyone that is willing to babysit my children (for free, the finances are really tight) or everyone's schedules are so busy. I really feel that I need to get away but it isn't going to happen anytime soon. Whenever I see my H now I get depressed and then the next instant I want to knock him out. My varying emotions are driving me crazy! I am sick of feeling like this. I know it hasn't been that long since we have separated but I am ready to get on with my life. The divorce will be around the corner soon since it is uncontested. I just want to live my life again. <p>Are all of these emotions normal? I don't want to be around my H if at all possible because I get sad and depressed because of the promises that have been broken. I don't even want to speak to him anymore, it seems that everything coming out of his mouth is lies. I hate that this has happened but I have had time to open my eyes and I know now my future looks positive, it is just getting there that is difficult.<p>Any suggestions about what else I can do to get through this more positively and not be so depressed would be helpful.<p>Thanks
K

I think those are very normal emotions. My H moved out the end of August when I confronted him with affair. We don't have any children! One minute I would absolutely do anything to get him back, and the next I don't ever want to see him again. When I see him or even think about him I get depressed .. I don't understand how something so beautiful became so dirty, almost overnight. Even he will admit we had a real good thing! The other day when I saw an attorney I could not believe that I was there. It is very scary. I would have bet the world 3 months ago that this would never happend to me. We got along so well. Maybe I was blinded! All I can say is that to lean to God and your faith. I have had to learn to trust God. He will see us through! The truth is that you do deserve better and that there is someone who will love you for who you are!! Don't let it change you! Just become better!!! Hugs!