Have been married almost 6 years(2nd marriage) Two kids etc. Over the last two years my wife and I moved further and further apart from each other mentally and physically.
I found comfort in my friends, and basically forgot I was married for a time. I spent allot of time with them, spent money I didn't have with them, and put my family into a financial mess which we are still trying to cover.
I have accepted responsibilty for my actions and am trying to be a better husband and father while addressing the financial issues as well.
As you can imagine, this didn't help our relationship any. My wife has told me that she loves me, but isn't in love with me and what we did have for a physical relationship is gone as she says she can't be with me physically since she feeels the way she does.
It has been 5 months now w/o that part of our relationship and like any other man would be, my patience is wearing very thin and I am considering looking elsewhere for that part of my life.
I also feel my spouse is having an affair already, due to some things, phone records and other happenings in my home. She has denied doing anyrthing wrong, but I don't trust her and it is causing more problems between us.
She is going to a counselor and I am to start in two weeks. She says the counseling will determine if she wants to stay with me or not and isn't about us, but her.
I feel that the counseling will be her excuse to divorce me and am losing interest in attempting anything anymore as I feel I have lost and lost her already.
I haven't been perfect and accept blame for most of our problems and don't want to lose her and my children and will do whatever it takes to make it work.
We are now roommates in our own home and the lack of love, acknowledgement, and physical contact is pushing me out the door.
Any suggestions and or advice would be great as I am sure I am not alone out here.
Lost

You are not alone. Weekends tend to be a little slower around here, but I'm taking this post back up to the top so more people will have a chance to see it and respond ...<p>Are you each doing individual counseling, or are you also doing marriage counseling together? It sounds like you both have a lot of issues with each other.<p>Don't give up, and don't use her lack of interest in sex as an excuse to find it elsewhere ... it will hurt her and it will hurt your relationship but it will hurt you as well.<p>Hope some others who have been in your situation can offer some advice. Take care.

RC100,<p>It is good that you are taking responsibility for you part in the withdrawal of the marriage. That is a good start. But you made a couple of statements that don't go together.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>It has been 5 months now w/o that part of our relationship and like any other man would be, my patience is wearing very thin and I am considering looking elsewhere for that part of my life.<hr></blockquote><p>and:
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I haven't been perfect and accept blame for most of our problems and don't want to lose her and my children and will do whatever it takes to make it work.<hr></blockquote><p>If you choose to be a WS (wandering spouse), that is not doing everything you can to save the marriage.<p>Read all you can on this site. Lurk on some of the other posts and see what they are doing. Start a Plan A to change the things in yourself that you can. And hope that your W responds to the changes.<p>Good luck<p>-Kat-

Princess Buttercup-
Thanks for responding and I appreciate your input.

Princess Buttercup-
Thanks again! Currently she is going to counseling(3 weeks) and I am scheduled to go in a week or so. Counseling seems very appealing to me and I am ready and willing.
She says she is only going to counseling to find out about what's best for her, Not us. So I feel I am wasting my time if she is only going out to find out what's best for her.
I'll keep you posted and Thanks again!
Rich

Kat,
Thanks also form your advice as it wasn helpful. I can certainly agree that muy statements were very contradicting to each other and you are right.
Two wrongs don't make a right. I'll try and do thise things and see where the counseling takes us.
Thanks for your input and have a great day!
RC100

RC,<p>Your welcome for the input, that is what this board is about.<p>I am glad you are going to counseling, is there anyway that you wife would agree to joint counseling as well as individual.<p>It is not harmful for her to work on herself just as it is good for you to do the same, But you also need to try and develope communication between the two of you. Which Joint counseling might do.<p>Dr. Harley does offer phone counseling the numbers are on the MB site. You might consider that, or finding a counselor that is aware of and practices MB principals.<p>good luck<p>-Kat-