We have been married for nearly 21 years. On many occasions we have talked of separation but agreed to stay together for the kids' sakes. Now he has left to work overseas saying he wants to accumulate extra income for our retirement and to buy the ideal property. Recently he admitted he has met another woman and is having an affair and that she has given up everything for him. I am absolutely devastated that he's found someone who fulfils his needs. During this he has admitted that because he doesn't feel loved it is easier to be away from home. I have been frantically sending him e-mails saying we need to be honest with each other and have spent hours on the internet searching for the answers and after doing the emotional needs questionnaire I realise that because we don't communicate properly we are not aware of each other's emotional needs. I can't accept that it's over, now I am hoping that he still has feelings for me and will finish his affair and come back home to me. I told him if his girlfriend is good and decent she will do the right thing and let him come back to me.<p>[ October 27, 2001: Message edited by: Carol Y ]<p>[ October 27, 2001: Message edited by: Carol Y ]</p>

I don't have much to say that can help, but wanted to suggest you post your questions on the Infidelity board, General Questions II ... it is a 'busier' board and there are people who are in that situation or have been.<p>Also, weekends tend to be slow, so hang in there if you don't get a lot of responses right away.<p>Take care.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Princess Buttercup:
<strong>I don't have much to say that can help, but wanted to suggest you post your questions on the Infidelity board, General Questions II ... it is a 'busier' board and there are people who are in that situation or have been.<p>Also, weekends tend to be slow, so hang in there if you don't get a lot of responses right away.<p>Take care.</strong><hr></blockquote>