Can you ever - do you ever trust anyone again? I seem to be second guessing everyones motives anymore. From my parents - my family - friends - co-workers - even my two young sons. Has this possible divorce broken that forever for me? Will I ever be able to feel like I can truly depend on anyone expect myself? The more I think about it the more I feel completely alone. <p>Hope<p>married almost 15 years
husband asked for D 2 weeks ago
two sons - 4 & 7
still living together and in counseling

I don't know the answer, Hope... I just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel, and I'm right there with you.<p>I hope someone who has gotten past this point will have some words of encouragement.<p>HUGS.

It is hard.<p>I've lived so long in a relationship where emotional abuse was the norm, that I am always waiting for what I've come to believe was the "inevitable" breaking point ... I'm not used to more than a couple days' peace.<p>I've been with a sweet, non-abusive man for almost six months now, he's not given me one reason to fear him, and yet, I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells.<p>Things will get better. I'm just now able to start voicing opinions I don't think he'll agree with ... I was in conflict-avoidance mode for the first few months. I am learning to trust, telling myself over and over he is NOT my XH and most people are NOT that hurtful. I still have a hard time opening up with my deep emotional feelings -- they were often used against me in the past when divulged. Little by little, trust returns.

I don't know, I am still trying to get there myself, I keep telling myself I have no reason not to trust, I should trust until someone gives me a reason not to trust them. I think the problem for me is I don't trust myself, I feel like everything I ever believed in life and marriage was a lie.

Good Morning Hope,<p>Sure you will be able to trust again, but it will be a much more mature and enlightened trust. It won't be naive, blind faith.<p>Trust is a belief that builds and nurtures over time. You build trust by keeping your word. Simple things like being someplace when you said you would be there build trust.<p>I think you used the phrase walking on eggshells. That is a very good point if you reflect on it a little. Once a person has come to trust you, one must think carefully before betraying a trust. Before you betray a trust, make very sure you are never going to need that person's trust again. That is because once betrayed, trust is like Humpty Dumpty having a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men can never put it together again.<p>But that doesn't mean someone else won't be trustworthy, and it doesn't mean you won't ever be able to trust anyone again. It is one of life's bitter lessons, and once burned, you naturally tend to be more careful about how easily you trust again. You become a little older, a little wiser, maybe a little sadder, but above all you become more reasoned and more cautious about where and in whom you place that trust.