My wife has been distant for many months now and up until 2 months ago I did not notice.<BR>A couple of months ago I started looking into my wife's personal time. I was scared at what I found.<BR>My wife's good friend, which is a male, was in love with my wife. They have been friends for about 10 years, and we have been married for 14mos. So, I didn't think anything of it. They would get together and do things with my 6yr. old step-son and his 9yr. old son, like go to the park etc. This didn't bother me that much, well just a little, but I was usually working or committed to something else at the time. We have been out together as a group on several occasions and everything felt fine at the time.<BR>I found "love" cards that he had given my wife. He expressed his love to her in these cards. After I found the cards I began to look deeper to see what I could find. Her cell-phone bill, we'll it was a car note size bill, where she had called him over 100 times in a month. Every minute away fome me she was on the phone to him. To hide the conversasions she changed the billing address to his house. To make things worse I went straight to the purse where I found his credit card that he gave her, "only in case of an emergency" was what I was told.<BR>I feel like #@&*.<BR>This person came to my house, had dinner with us, the kids became best friends, and I want to rip his head off.<BR>My wife told me that he had a thing for her, but it only lastest a couple of weeks. And that was the end of the story as far as she was concerned. She was quick to point out any flaw that she could find in me, that we do not have anything in common. Looking back at our relationship we had many things in common before he came around.<BR>Should I trust my wife?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Dave<BR>

Trust her about what? She is either having an affair with this man or very close to it. All you have to do is make one mistake and she will have all the evidence she needs that you are "not the right man for her" and it's off to the races. <P>If you want to follow Dr. Harley's methods, I think you might want to switch to "Plan A" right away. And yes, trust her implicitly. Now is not a good time to start a conflict.<P>If you want to follow my dad's advice (actually he gave me this advice when my wife started acting like yours. Funny, my wife even switched her cell phone statement mailing address. Anyway, the advice "Change the locks and keep the kids." In my case I tried Harley's methods to no avail. My Dad's method might not have worked either, but it might have been more fun.<P>If you are wonderring how it turned out with my ex wife, well, I am now convinced that redirecting cell phone statements = affair.

I understand what you are going through..my wife had a one nighter with a mutual friend that almost turned into a full blown affair..I didn't trust him at first, but I grew to trust him throughout our 5 yr friendship..he worked with my wife and they were good friends..then this happened...she says there isn't anything there, just a mistake, and I believe her, but I am having a hard time trusting her again..work it out according to Dr. H's plan and see what comes about..watch out for the telltale signs that something is still going on..may God change your wife's heart..grace to you.

Your wife sounds like I sounded just prior to my affair. You don't need me to tell you this, because you already know the answer... of course you don't trust her. You shouldn't. Now, the real question is: what are you going to do about it? <P>Visit the Infidelity message board - read everything you can, and I bet you'll find the help you're looking for... lots of great info there!<P>Best wishes to you as you begin this journey. It won't be easy...