OK here it is I expect to see a reply from you two (or any one else who wants to have really coll friends) by tomrrow. that gose for ldlb & angela.<BR>love and hugs to all<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I have been really busy trying to help my brother. Are you all ready for this news? My brother's wife is deciding to leave him. I wonder sometimes if I didn't go through my situation so that I could be stronger to help him. Their 10 yr anniversary is Thursday this week and they have a beautiful 3 yr old. I just don't understand what is going on with this world we live in today. It's like people have no sense of lifetime commitment. Not that they don't want it, but there is no belief that it can happen. It's not trustable, if you know what I mean.<BR>Anyway, things are getting much busier here at work, classes started this week. I'll try to write more later.<BR>Remember, life does go on and change is the only constant!<BR> <BR>

Hi Ladies<BR>LMS, I like that Friends helping friends II!!<BR>I have some news since we last spoke.<P>I got a letter from his lawyer today <BR>The letter sets up arbitration without my consent. Also I have to pay for it at $170 an hour. It's in a month. Now my letter to the court said I did not agree the marriage was broken and asked for counciling and that I would not discuss assets.<P>I'm telling you guys, it's like I'm a non-person here!!!!! Nobody, NOBODY listens to what I say. These guys just blow off my letter to the court like it never happened and breeze right ahead.<BR>NOPE!!!!! I was so pissed when I got that letter today, I got right on the phone and tried to call him. NO ANSWER!!!! Caller ID <BR>So I got in my car and drove over there, well imagine my surprize when there was several cars there and he was home with his friends!!!!!! <P>The self-rightous SOB came right to the door with a worried look on his face-like he really give a rats as-patootie about me. He said "What's wrong?" Oh so innocent and caring. BULLSH*T!!!!! I was so mad I was shaking, but as soon as I saw that fake concerned look for his friends benifit I calmed right down.<BR>I held up the letter from his lawyer, in the envelope, and calmly tore it into a million little pieces. Said quietly, "I will not go to arbitration, not now, not ever." When he held his hand out for the letter I sprinkled them on his floor and walked calmly back to my car and drove away.<P>Now I need to VENT... Ohhhhhhhhhh I could just punch him!!!!!! I can not figure him out. He's still very angry and he treats me like dirt. He does really cruel things and refuses to even acknowledge that I even exist anymore. EVERYBODY thinks he's the "poor baby" He has no money, poor thing!<BR>That ***** of a wife of his!!! Bla Bla Bla!<P>So far I have not done one thing having to do with blame or anything that would make him look bad. He goes out almost every night and whines he has no money, now that's a no-brainer!!! Drinking costs money!!!<P>Last night I was thinking and I decided to write down what I lose here, lets see, lets list the hi-lights<BR>I LOSE<BR>1. My Husband<BR>2. My best friend<BR>3. Physical security so I can sleep at night<BR>4. My so called friends that have gone his way(no loss)<BR>5. My family, (his family has been mine for 25 years) they don't even call, thier getting ready for my replacement.<BR>6. Holidays<BR>7. Special events in my childrens lives. (Oh we musn't be in the same place together)<BR>8. My home<BR>9. Financial security<BR>10. Retirement security<BR>11. And last but not least---Oh we must be sure to take every single thing!!!!!!!<BR>The most cruel of all. He took my memories Too.<BR>All in one cruel sentence "I never loved you"<BR>So my children were conceived without love and raised without love and I have given 25 years of my life for nothing! I've lived in a lie and been deceived all these years. I have loved someone my whole life-only to find he lied and wants nothing more now than to kick the bloody mass he threw away like some discarded toy that he doesn't want to play with anymore.<BR>I can look back at the pictures of 25 years of living and they aren't the same anymore. The happy times are faded and my memory sees them as question marks now. Were they really happy? Was he wanting to be somewhere else that time? Was he really happy when our daughters were born, or was he feeling a little more trapped? If I look at the pictures hard enough can I see now what I failed to notice all these years? Was that smile on his face real back then, or just put on? You know I really hate this!!!<BR>I don't know anymore what was real and what I wanted to be real!!!<P>Just once, JUST ONCE!!! I want to see some sort of remorse or hurt or ANYTHING from him.<BR>It's killing me that he's enjoying this. He keeps dishing out the hurt like I'm made of steel or something-or I can take anything!!<BR>I can't, I'm bleeding to death here!! Every wound just grows and grows, bleeds a little more each day. I know what he wants is for me to finally get mad enough to let go so he can walk and not have to bear any of the blame. Swish---wave that magic wand and he's free-young-with a fat paycheck-no responsibilities-no encumbrances-no wife-friends, just like him-bimbo's a plenty-worry about the kids? Nahh, Wife will do that!!!!<BR>There's a thing described as "The Walk-away Wife Syndrome"<P>I'm a victom of "The blown away life syndrome"<P>And you know what? I'm sitting here crying and writing to my friends that I know will understand this self pity backslide and let me rant. <BR>And tonight I'm absolulely certain he's out somewhere with his friends partying like he doesn't have a care in the world. Ahhhh More FOOL ME-----He DOESN'T have a care in the world. He has reason to celebrate, He has pushed me one step closer to the point where I can no longer take anymore. All he has to do is try just a little bit harder. I'm still able to get back up, but guys it's getting harder and harder and I'm staggering.<BR>Each blow is harder to recover from.<BR> When all is done and he gets his way, and I can no longer get back up, Maybe it would make him happy to know that if he ever does decide in the future to try at some sort of relationship with me, that there won't be anything left. This killing me by inches is working. I can't beleive he "beleives he is not good at fighting" THE MAN IS A PRO!!!!!<BR>He nibles all around the edges and lets his prey bleed enough to weaken even the strongest, Then goes for the jugular and holds on just tight enough so death is slow and painful, smiling the whole time for anyone interested.<P>If this Shi* is all my fault, Then why am I the only ONE BLEEDING here?<BR>God, Do I sound pathetic!!!!!! I promise to be in a better mood later. I haven't slept more than 7 hrs in the last three days. Cranky and teary... Ready to just give up.<P>Liar!!! I WILL NOT SIGN THOSE PAPERS!!!!!<BR>HE MAY GET HIS DIVORCE BUT IT WILL NOT BE EASY!!!!! AND THEN I STILL WON"T SIGN!!!!!<BR>What can they do to me? Ha Ha Take away my life? Too late!!!<BR>Sorry Guys, I'll write again later, more cheerful I promise!!!<BR>Love and hugs<BR>Molly

Molly,<BR>I am SO sorry you are going through this. I wish I had the magical words to help take the pain away. The one thing I can say is that it does lessen eventually. I have been distracted from my problems having to help my bro deal w/his. I know it helps to know you have friends here that care and will listen. We are here and DO CARE. I apologize upfront, can't write much, like I said it's getting really busy here and w/all that's going on at our house, nobody has gotten around to upgrading the puter. I am considering moving to San Diego. I can't remember if I told you all that or not. I have pretty much decided that I want to, I just haven't seen how it's going to be POSSIBLE just yet. I have the settlement money from EX-H, but that won't last that long out there. Anyone have any input?<BR>Better go for now.<BR>Here's some smiles for you! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<BR>luv ya'll!

Molly,<BR> Hun I am so sorry you are having a bad week, I know what you mean about the memories and all, one that I thought would never hurt, laying in the hospital bed just after giving birth to mikayla and tears running out of my H's eyes, that was such a beautyful memory for me and now I dont ever want to think about it. I know what you are feeling right now I leave in six days and every day it is getting harder to pretend I'm ok with, like you said losing my best friend and life in general. the worst thing is I wont get my stuff for 3 weeks, so no pep talk from my new found life line. I just hope when he takes us to the airport wendsday and says good bye to the kids I dont fall apart. God give me the stringth to get on that plane and not shed a tear. (until I am alone in a dark room.)<P>Ok sorry back to you...dont,no,let me change that, try not to let him get to you hun,when you left his place he more than likely turned to his friends and said something along the lines of "crazy bi*ch" and they all got a tickel out of it. when you feel like that when you receve something call your lawyer, thats the best thing you can do , if you go over there he can say you have been harrassing him.(I know, your thinking, "stupid world would beleave him too".)<P> You just keep your chin held high and let him know if you sh*t and fell back in it you would come out smelling like a rose.<BR> If you need me girl you Email me and I'll be there for you.<P>keep skiping in your mind,and smile if you dont I'll start the whole sex thing again and make you blush <BR>love and hugs <BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday<P>sorry about the edit cant spell remember <p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited August 19, 1999).]

Hey girls,<BR> Sorry I haven't been here in a few days. I started to write the other day and stopped in the middle, never posted.<BR> Well, I'm there. I got to THAT point.<BR>I went back and read my last post and realized when I wrote it I was on the brink then. NO MORE!!!!!!<P>I cannot tell you how much a relief it is to say that. It hurts still but I know it's the right thing to do. I have decided to let him go.<P>I think I've known since our meeting when he said he never loved me, that I was done fighting. The more I think about what he said, that one sentence, the more all this makes sense. I have made no gains at all with him and thats because he feels nothing but hate and a need to hurt me more and to make himself look like the injured party.<P>I went to church yesterday, I go every sunday-well missed last sunday and look what happened Just Kidding GOd <BR>Anyway I prayed yesterday for God to give me the strength to let him go. To help me through this. I asked God, if it's his will that someday He returns, let it be with only love in his heart. And if not then God give me the strength to keep walking forward and be happy. And God give me the strength and the heart to forgive him. <P>Right after church I stopped at H's house. Not home. Went to the boat yard. He was there.<BR>I told him I wanted him to go see his lawyer Monday and get papers---I'll sign. I wanted to just say goodbye. But His rudeness just makes me so mad. The man is such a JERK!!! He actually flinched away from me. I wasn't even close. He said (loudly) so everyone could hear. "Don't touch me! I don't trust you. I'm going to get a restraining order!"<P>Now isn't that a fine kettle of fish!!! Normally him saying something stupid like that would have ticked me off. Well I gotta tell you. IT DID!!!! That was really it!!! If I had any second thoughts, they died right there. I told him to get his stuff out of my house. No negotiation here, I'll put your personal sh*t out. Come get it.<P>Did I ever tell you guys about the "pillow guard"? If I have, I'm sorry to repeat.<P>About 15 years ago H was going on a business trip. My youngest daughter was about 7. While he wasn't looking she tucked a stuffed floppy puppy with a note in his suitcase. The note said "Daddy, this puppy will watch over you for me. He's your pillow guard." That makes me cry. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] Anyway He has carried that little floppy pillow guard puppy all over the world and it has a place of honor on his pillow where ever he is. Hotel cleaning ladies got the biggest kick out of that. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<BR>Now comes the rotten husband part. When he left in June, he took the puppy off his pillow and put it on my bureau for me to find. He didn't take it with him!!! He said to me and I quote "I have given you and the kids and the house 25 years, now it's my turn." He was divorcing us all!!<P>He knew I found the puppy, I told him. He doesn't want daughter to know that he did that though. Today he came into my house and got his stuff. When I got home I was pissed that he came into my house. The first thing I checked for was the puppy. He took it.<P>I packed up the rest of his stuff and brought it over to his house, I don't want him in this house again. He wasn't home so I put everything neatly (wanted to throw it) [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/blush.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] in the driveway. I was bad!!! I hung my wedding dress on a palm tree in his front yard. Hey the guy lied to me and GOD on the day I wore it. He didn't love me then and was too cowardly to admit it.<P>After I left his house, went to his parents house, he was there. His truck was there with everything in it. I said not a word, just parked and went to the truck, opened it and got the puppy. He yelled "what are you doing" All I said was "Getting what's mine, you tossed it aside. This puppy guards my child's father's pillow and that's at my house." It felt good!!! Was mean but it really felt good. I am so tired of hurting and I want to get on with my life.<P>He stole 25 years of my life. "I never loved you." My GOD the man stayed married to me for 25 years and made my life a living hell because he didn't have the guts to say that sentence!!!<P>lbld, Lesa, onward ladies. we will make it through this. And God willing if they ever decide to come back, lets pray that it's with love in thier hearts. Maybe someday. And Tonight I'm going to ask the Lord for help with this bitterness and hate I feel. I don't really want to hate him but I'm scared to death that that's the only way I will survive this intact. I don't think he'll have it any other way. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]<P>Hey guys, Skipping in my mind. I really am much better. I know it doesn't sound like it but honest I'm smiling. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Love and hugs<BR>Molly<P>Lesa, Sent e-mail on ICQ.<BR>lbld, don't know e-mail address.<BR>Take care, will check back later tonight for answer. Will check online at 10 pm my time Lesa<BR>

HEY WOMAN!<BR>I'm smiling SO big for you right now! You've really gotten the right attitude. Your prayers are right on target!!!!!! I know you will be given the strength to get through this. <BR>As for me, I couldn't be better! I have made the decision to move to San Diego. I know lots of people would say I'm running from what's happening here, but I disagree. I have wanted to be able to live there by my closest friend for years. Now, (thanks to ex-H) I have the financial capability! I have 29 days left until I embark on my greatest adventure. I will leave OK on Sept 22.........can't wait <BR>I have talked to members of ex-H's family and let them know about my new attitude! It felt SO GOOD ! They are in shock that I can be so happy now. NO, I AM NOT IN DENIAL. I am fully aware of what's going on. <BR>Anyway, have to get back to work. <BR>Keep up the mental skipping!<P>

Hey Kid,<BR> Thank you so much for that last post. You made me smile for the first time in a while.<BR>Just after I read this, I caught LMS online. My mad and emotional state had already been taken care of by your post. Thanks KID.<P>I am so happy for you. I can see the difference in you. I so glad you decided to make that move to San Diego. You sounded like you were so much better when you came back from your visit there. I really think it's a great idea. Do what makes you happy.<BR>And I don't think it's running away. Sometimes we need to cut our losses and move on to happy. That's not denial, that's life.<P>When you go please don't forget us. It may be hard to come back here. But until you get ICQ you better <BR>I feel like we've become good friends here. You, me and LMS. And you know Kid, LMS and I are not all that far behind you. I can feel it coming. I'm getting through it and it's hard but I know I'm doing the right thing.<BR>But I think your proof there is light at the end of that tunnel (fun house). And I'm so proud of you.<P>One thing though, Psst. (blushing) Check out the you know what first. But, even though it's Californy (you know,weird stuff happens in Californy) you better ask before testing the firmness of the merchandise. Some guys have no sense of humor!!!!! NOW Molly, THAT was really bad!!!! <P>I'm going to post this now. So glad your happy Kid..I really really am!!!<P>Love and Hugs<BR>Molly

Molly,ldlb, well this will be my last post on here for a few weeks I will miss you all dearly but,I will have you back soon.<BR>Molly, you keep your chin up girl and dont let that S.O.B get you down any more remember, you have people who love you and will stand with you till the end of time. skip,skip,skip to my lou .<BR>ldlb, you go girl you get your stuff packed and dont look back!!!!! when you get out there you best get you a computer so we all can leep in touch plus, Molly needs someone to talk to while I'm gone, you know how we can get if we dont get out fix of frindship. you have a great time in calf. but dont forget about us cuz I'll never forget you guys you helped me through a time when I thought my only option was killing my self and now (thanks to you two) I know better well I get on the plane in a few hours so I better get my stuff togher.<P>love and hugs always,<BR>Lesa <P>------------------<BR>maybe someday <BR>sorry bout the edit<p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited August 26, 1999).]

Oh shoot!!!<BR>I missed you!!!<BR>Have a nice flight Lesa and you keep your chin up. I'll watch for your next post when your settled and have your computer back.<BR>Darn, I wish I could have talked to you before you left. Later sweety, keep skipping.<P>Hey Guys,<BR>Today is the first day of the rest of my life. That's it......I'm done!!!!<BR>THAT MAN has hurt me for the last time.<BR>Tomorrow I'm filling out the papers to counter file for a divorce. I don't want him back, not like this.<P>He's has kept up this sh*t for months now. Even after I told him I would sign and to take what ever he wanted, which he did. He just keeps up the mental torture. The man actually flinches when I come near him. He threatens me with getting a restraining order. I've been hearing things at work about me being some kind of nutcase. Good Grief, if he keeps that up I could lose my job. There's just no quit in the man.<P>I got a court order from the Judge today. Forcing me to go to mediation. He won't even talk civilally to me and he wants mediation. Mediate what? Anyway he's just getting worse and worse. Drinking and whining about not having any money. Gee do ya think it might help if he spent less on going out and a 12 pack every day? Guess it would be Catty of me to suggest that. <P>So I guess it's my turn. Only I'm not going to play tit-for-tat games. I'm filing and stating clearly what I want, let him see what it's like wrapping up your life in 20 lousy days. Let him explain why this phsyco<BR>bit*h is divorcing him. <P>lbld, write me something. Lets talk about how much fun your going to have in Calf.<BR>I sooo happy for you.<P>Talk to you soon <BR>Love Molly

I have not forgotten you all......still too busy at work to loaf! I will write Monday, I promise!<BR>Have a great weekend!<BR>

hey kid,<BR>just a quick line to say hi.<BR>I'm doing pretty good here. Things are getting better by the day. Hope your still doing as good as you sound. Sorry your so busy, I miss talking to you guys. But actually I'm pretty busy too. <P>I'm doing the right thing Kid. In letting go I mean. He's keeping up the mental stuff and each time I think I have a handle on this he does something rotten. I never see it coming and I have to work on that. It still hurts but I think I'm going to make it. Your my inspiration.<BR>I don't mean that like I giving up or I think you did, honest. I really think I've walked so far ahead of him that I can't slow down so he can catch up anymore. You know what I mean? <BR>I sometimes wish I could just make him understand that it's not about what's past, but about now. I can forgive just about anything that happened before, it's the now that is killing me. Each time he deliberatly hurts me I draw farther and farther away. At first I was pulling into myself and just like some lunitic was sticking my head right back in the lion's mouth, only to wonder painfully why he kept biting me. Now I work on my armor against him. But am trying extra hard not to push friends and family away. Hard but I'm doing it. Wish me luck. It's almost the first day of the rest of my life, so I had better start thinking it will be other than blown up and worthless. He's the loser here. He threw away the best thing that ever happened to him. <BR>I haven't heard from LMS, but I didn't expect to. Her computer is packed and in shipping for three weeks. I hope she's doing OK. I know she was having a hard time leaving. I feel bad that I missed talking to her before she left. <BR>But we three will make it. I just know it.<BR>The next post title can be Friends being friends. I have a suspicition we aren't going to need a whole lot of help but I hope we can all stay friends.<BR>Love Molly

HEY WOMAN!<BR>I like the title for the next topic! <BR>I am still busy here. I don't have much time to talk. Just came in to work a couple of minutes early to write you a quick line. <BR>3 WEEKS from today is when I start my BIG adventure. I'm SO looking forward to it!<BR>I think you're doing wonderful! We will survive. <BR>I was thinking it may be easier to talk through e-mail. But, how do we share addresses w/out writing it on the post? I have in my profile the box checked to show address when I post, but it doesn't seem to work. Let me know and I'll be happy to correspond that way. Have more time for that, you know!<BR>Anyway, better start the grind! <BR>By the way, I have "tested the merchandise" and like it!!!!!!!!!!<BR>Catch ya later!<BR>

MOLLY, Where are you??????????<BR>Hope all is well, would like to talk some more before I leave town!!!<BR>I know you're off skipping around somewhere! <BR>

Hey KID!!!<BR>I'm right here. I started to write you several times and something always came up before I could post. <P>Actually I'm doing really great. Everyday I see an improvement in me. That sounds strange I know but I think I've been somebody else for years-you know what I mean? I didn't even know what kind of music I really like. <BR>Did you see the movie "Run away bride"?<BR>That's me. (not the runaway part) But the be what he wants part and losing touch with who I really am.<BR>OH BOY!!! Now I REALLY feel OLD. I'm saying I "HAVE TO FIND MYSELF" shoot! I thought that crap went out with the sixties. <P>Kid, what you said earlier about e-mail sounds like a good idea. What if I post for one day? Maybe we can set up a time and I'll post for an hour, then edit to remove my address? That way even after you set out on your great adventure - by the way I love that! We can still be in touch. <P>I went back and read our previous posts. You know KID, we've come a long way baby!!! <BR>Your well on your way and I'm getting there. Even LMS is moving forward. That's a good thing and I'm soooooo glad We all found each other on here. It's like having best friends that nobody you know can interfere with, and you can confide anything. Some times I forget there's probably a whole lot of people reading this! <P>Oh yeah, before you think your off the hook!<P>(BLUSH) (BLUSH) You know that talk of the big nasty makes me blush. PSST.... I'm sooooo glad it was good. I'm am so excited for you. I can tell your happy now. You go KID!!! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] That's young people talk!!!<P>Now me, After my little talk with God, Things changed for me BIG TIME. I went a little nuts with anger for awhile. But then looked at myself and realized I hate acting like a shrew. So I just stopped. MAKE IT SIMPLE STUPID!!! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>Now, guess who's slowing things down? [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]<P>Remember when I told you earlier that I was walking forward and that I would slow down and wait for him to catch up? Well I remember saying back then that I didn't want to but I could see the day when I no longer slowed down to wait and I would be so far ahead that I would lose sight of him. I knew it even then I think. He hasn't moved from the position he was in. He just keeps lobing these killer bombs at me and pretending he's the innocent victom. Well I'm there now.<BR>THAT MAN TOSSED AWAY THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM and though I still love him. I think I've always loved someone that disappeared a long time ago. This cruel unfeeling brute is not the man I gave 25 years to! And what there is left of him I don't want.<P>I think I'm really happy now for the first time in my life, or at least in a very very long time. I'm sad that we couldn't keep that lifetime love alive and that he feels he has to hurt me to make it look like he's justified. He suggested the other day, after this is final we can be friends. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]<BR>You know I don't think so. Maybe someday-ten years or so. But I can't easily put aside all this unnessecary pain he's caused me.<BR>I know some women can honestly forgive infidelity. And more power to them. But I can't. I don't know for certain, I don't want to know!! When anyone tries telling me the particulars, you know the type, just want to help me [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] Anyway I cut them off. They think I'm in some sort of denial. But truely thats not it. I hate that betrayed feeling and what happened before is really irrelevant right now. We're still at the same point. I made the right decision. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] It's sad saying goodbye to someone thats been your whole life but it's time. I'm a coward though, I'll say goodbye in a letter. I'll give it to him on the day we sign the final papers - next week. If his lawyer stops stalling [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]<P>I'm going to need your help here Kid. I am absolutly clueless about dating. I mean that seriously. I have been asked out five times this week. I didn't run and hide but felt that panic coming on. Although for now I had a good reason to say no. I have been absolutely faithful to that man since I was 14 years old and there is no way in the waining days of our marriage he's going to accuse me of anything. But after that WHAT?<BR>It's like I'm wearing a banner or something. Geez, Maybe it's they think it's really true that "Divorced women are racey". [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>I've talked your ear off here<P>Let me know an exact time to post my e-mail address (my time) I'll be online, post it, you write it down, let me know you have it and I'll edit it out.<BR>Love and Hugs<BR>Molly

Where are you KID? I need your help? Not bad stuff!!! But kind of scary. I don't want to make a mistake. Tell me a time to post e-mail address so I can write you. I miss talking to you and Lesa.<BR>Hello Hello Calling lbld! Come on kid get your butt to this computer before I do something really stupid. Came close! Shoot write me back!<P>Cryptic enough for you?<BR>Love ya<BR>Molly<P>Skipping in my heart - not good!!!!<BR>Too soon KID. I need your input.

hey kid<BR>checked at 6 am. Your not here yet!<BR>Quit checking out the merchandise and check our post <BR>Abstinence is good for the soul <P>Love and hugs<BR>Molly<P>p.s.<BR>If you don't get here soon I'll fill up this topic all by my lonesome.

Kid,<BR>Would you please stop gawking at <BR>I need some input here. Really clueless!!!!<BR>Need to talk by e-mail....this is too personal from anybody but you and Lesa.<P>I'M TALKING MAJOR MALFUNTION HERE KID!!!!!<BR>I PAINTED MY TOENAILS RED!!!!!!<BR>REALLY RED!!!!!! I THINK THE SOB "H" HAS CREATED A MONSTER. <P>Love and hugs<BR>Molly

MOLLY, I'M HERE!!!!!!!!<BR>You know that I only have access at work! We were off yesterday for Labor Day. Hope you are still checking here to see about me. Did you make it through w/out me? I bet you did! I know this because we all have gotten SO strong through all we've endured. If you still need me, I'll be glad to help in any way I can! That would be great for you to post the address. What time zone are you in again? Eastern? That means you are an hour ahead of me, right? (I'm Central....for two more weeks! then Pacific!!!) I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MY MOVE!!!!!!!!!!! <BR>By the way, I was NOT out gawking at anything this weekend. Saving it up for when I'm in sunny CA! <BR>I know you'll be fine when you decide to start dating. You have so much to offer and lots of wisdom, I know you'll do the right thing. You know, you were talking about the movie Runaway Bride? I went to see that this weekend w/ex-H's Mother and Sister. I absolutely loved the movie. Made me feel pretty sad for ex-H that he is not mature enough to know how to love someone. He is already dating someone else. I know he will lose interest in her as soon as the new wears off, just like he did w/me AND all the others he's dated. Just wish he wouldn't have married me! Anyway, the point it's taking me so long to reach is that I've realized I am not in love w/him. Never was. Here's the truth........I was in love w/the man he PRETENDED to be to win my heart. Still haven't figured out what his purpose was for making a woman fall in love w/him by pretending would be. I mean, what did he gain by that? Anyway, enough of that. I was just comparing our situations. You had said something similar to that, saying that he is not the same man you gave your heart to 25 years ago. Once again, we find a similar feeling in common. I know we will survive and chances are pretty good that we will live happier, fuller lives because of what we've been through. I know I intend to!!!!!! <BR>I will be at work until 5:00 central. I will check for your post right before I leave.<BR>Hope to hear from you soon!!!!!<BR>Luv ya!<BR>ld

Hey Kid <P>Sooooo glad your back! <BR>Here's my e-mail address.<P><BR>I'm not going to write anymore right now<BR>I want to make sure you get this.<BR>Love ya<BR>Molly<P>I'll edit this post tomorrow.<P>I'll write as soon as I hear from you by e-mail. I missed you. I don't need help really I just need to tell someone this stuff before I bust!!!!! <P>Love and hugs<P>[This message has been edited by MLC (edited September 07, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by MLC (edited September 07, 1999).]