I have been married for 6 years. My wife and I met when I was turning my back on the gay-lifestyle. She did all she could to understand my issues. She read books and went to support group sessions with me. Due to my own insecurities I looked for ways to be unfaithful to her so she would leave me. She saw something in me I could not see in myself. She weathered a bout with infidelity like a real trooper. Although she was very, very hurt, she understood it was not related to a deficiency in her femininity. She is an incredible woman in every area. I have no complaints. We are both very health conscious and are in great shape. Our sex life is full of the unexpected and neither one of will hesitate to perform to perfection any requests. We have 2 great kids that we love dearly and invest a lot of time in them. My wife and are constantly thinking of ways to spend more time together and we do so more than most couples we know. We are truly in love and nurture this as often as possible. I love more her more than I have ever loved.<BR>My issue is with me!! These are issues with roots in my past. I still have a lustful appetite for men. I try to stop, but my mind is extremely pornographic. My thoughts have no respect for who the man may be. If he is goodlooking and in shape, my mind is scheming a way to lust after him. I am at a loss!! I want to be faithful to my wife in deed and in thought. I am feeling a bit depserate for solutions. I am a pretty disciplined individual and love God very much, but this area is out of control and I am sick of it. <BR>I understand the same-sex-thoughts may not be common, but from the readings on this site, lust and lack of self-control are common denominators.<BR>Are there any survivors out there that can give me some advice?<BR>Thanks!!<P><BR>------------------<BR>vida loca<P><BR>[This message has been edited by vida loca (edited August 23, 1999).]<P>[This message has been edited by vida loca (edited August 23, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by vida loca (edited August 25, 1999).]

Hi vida loca,<P>I read your post here and immediately thought that what my H does could help you. My H has a sexual addiction to porn and mast including his own fantasies. From what I know right now his fantasies are heterosexual, but does that really matter? You are just trying to find ways to change your patterns so content does not really matter does it?<P>Well, what he told me works for him is...<BR>whenever he has a sexual or questionable thought about anyone but me, he immediately focuses his mind on our family or me. He thinks of things he wants for our family, etc. At first it was practically a constant struggle for him, it is getting better everyday, but it is still a struggle which he has to stay conscious about.<P>I hope that helps. <P>Hugz and prayers, Thoughtful<P>------------------<BR>To save your marriage use Dr. Harley's methods at <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/</A> <BR>

Vida loca,<P>I know what I'm going to say, not everyone will believe, but I really believe that when there is an area you can't get free from and you are a Christian... you probably need deliverance. I'd encourage you to seek out Godly counsel with your pastor. Some of the taking thoughts captive can work. Sometimes you need a touch from the hand of God. There are other areas that just remind me that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and demons of darkness. There are a few stories at www.cbn.org and testimonials of others leaving the gay lifestyle and getting set free from the baggage that comes with it. I'm sure you are not alone in your struggle.<P>I'll be praying for you Vida loca, you can beat this... with God's help. Cry out to Him, as Him to set you free!<P>God's blessings!<BR>Ramy