Do any of you feel that we as women have more of a tendency to over analize our significant others chosen words, actions, perhaps be more suspicious than our male counterparts? Could this be what we refer to as a womans Intuition? Would like to hear others thoughts.<BR>Ruby

Woman's intuition? I don't know about that. I think it works like this. Everyone has control over their own emotions. The result of that is that not everybody reacts the same way to a given event. For instance, if I was in a room with 4 other people, and I started to yell and act angry, I would get up to 4 unique reactions. One person might become very afraid of me. The second might get angry back. The third might punch me in the nose. The forth might tell me they aren't going to talk to me about anything until we can discuss it rationally.<P>We each react according to our own "pre-installed" software. So usually when you have someone carrying on as you describe above, it says more about the person having the feelings than it does about the person "causing" them. Nobody can cause you to feel any way at all. You choose to feel the way you feel.<P>Facts are another matter. If you catch your spouse cheating, it really doesn't matter why he/she did it. Who really cares what the motivation was? The behavior is unacceptable. Simple as that. When they catch a speeder on the radar-cam, he gets a ticket. They don't drop by to see if he had a "good" excuse. "The actions define the man."<P>I was married for 8 years to a woman who analyze the death out of every word I said, trying to find "hidden meanings". It got to a where I wouldn't open my mouth without making sure to write it down and analyze it myself first. Actions? What do you mean? I suppose if someone hit me, I would analyze that. But just because they were watching TV when I thought maybe I'd like a foot rub wouldn't qualify. Eventually my ex drove herself crazy. I would say "I love you", but she would think, "he didn't say forever." I would say "I'm going fishing with my brother" and she would think (but not say) "If he cared about me at all he'd stay home." You can probably tell where that went. A man who was able to manipulate this emotional weakness found her and phrased things in such a way as to deceive her into believing his intentions were pure and mine were evil and selfish. Oh well, I get more fishing in now than ever.<P>You attributed this behavior to women. I don't believe it is gender specific. I think it's more acceptable in our society for a woman to act this way than a man, but I know just as many men who think like that as women. They just hide it up a bit better.<BR>

hey nonpulsed,<BR>I thank you for the input...you are absolutley correct in every word written. I think I personally have a tendency to let my imagination run away sometimes. I have noticed this in many of my female friends...Sometimes we read more into things.<BR>It has to boil down to a trust issue for me..but I'm working on it. There has been no infidelity just dishonesty on the H's part in the past. Perhaps that is why I pickup on things that in my mind dont add up.<BR> I want to kick myself in the @ss when I feel this way.<BR>ruby

Well, don't kick yourself in the [censored]. Collect the facts and analyze them rationally. That's the best way to figure out what's up. It's also hard if you have trust issues, especially if there has been deceit in the past. But each new situation has to be evaluated by observing the facts, rather than extrapolating the past.