Hello, Everyone:<p>I am having a bad day, because I am meeting with divorce mediator and wife tomorrow. Spoke to wife today to confirm the time and to let her know where the mediator's office is and speaking to her really pushed me under. <p>(As I type this, there is a commercial for internet access service playing on the tv and the company is using a wedding as a backdrop for some reason. This is the sort of thing that I would not have noticed before, now it feels like a shard of glass in my chest)<p>My W is so cooooooooollllllllll about this whole thing. She acts as if she is cancelling a magazine subscription and not a marriage for God's Sake!!! How can she, and all of the other WS's out there, be so thoughtless and mean? We may never know.<p>What I do know is that this is the most painful thing I have ever known and I have lost both of my parents. That hurt, but this is worse. This is a lonesome, dull, thudding pain that engulfs my whole body and mind. It is like an earache of the soul. No heating pad will take care of this ache. <p>I know that you all are going through this and that my situation is not unique. Please, God, let this pain go away from all of us. I am truly feeling lost. We all may be lost, but at least we are lost together, I suppose.<p>Take care all,
vb_guy<p> [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: vb_guy ]</p>

BUMP!!!!!!!!!!

I had read somewhere that the pain is worse than that of child abuse it is the worst pain that can be afflicted on a person. I also read that the WS has a false sence of security and power, in time this will fade and they will be left empty. On the other hand you will slowly work through the pain, pick up the peices of your shattered heart and put it back together. One day it will only be a mild ache and then oneday it will be healed, you will come out of this the better person. WS will suffer shame and quilt for along time the affair will end, she will not only have to deal with the pain of divorce that she never dealt with she will also feel the pain of the loss of the affair. I know that no one wants to go through this, but there are many of us who have survived and you will to with the help of friends and strangers, you will be free in ways you never imagined, so take care of yourself, there are good things to come.

(((((((((((((((((vb_guy)))))))))))))))<p>I am so sorry for your pain. I hope you can be at your best tomorrow, and find some strength to get through.<p>Remember you have no control over your wife's actions, nor do you have any control over her emotions.<p>The emotion, or lack of she displays to you is a mask....she doesn't want you to know how she feels about things. Why? Because maybe she will seem vulberable, and may weaken near you...her resolve may disappear. Or she may be hurting too, but she doesn't want you to see that for the same reason. Or, if the worst thing is that she is HAPPY about it, she knows it would be too cruel to display that.<p>Go there tomorrow with your head held high, Andrew....try to think about the worst case scenario, and what you want from that situation. In otherwords, try to go prepared. Try to imagine the kinds of things that will be discussed, and your responses. <p>I know it will be a hard day for you...I wish I had a magic want to make it all go away. Instead, I can only send hugs and love and light.<p>Jacky