My W moved out of our home a month ago. We have been married for 6 years and have never fought or argued. I am positive there is no infidelity in the marriage. We even sought counseling. For the past 2 years I have been trying to reach out to her. Yet her answer would always be "I don't know what&#8217;s the problem". W says she is not getting a divorce or want a formal separation, but she is not coming back? Now she tells me that she will not be providing any money for our monthly financial commitments.<p>I love my wife. She says that she does not love me. I want to work on our marriage. I have been very nice and civil these past three weeks. Any advice?<p>[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Senator ]</p>

^

Boy!!<p>Well, first of all, I'm sorry you didn't get some responses to this...<p>I'm curious as to why there was no arguing or fighting... most couples have at least some arguments in six years... do you think you're conflict avoiders?? Both of you??<p>Is your wife's only reason for moving that she no longer loves you? Is there someone else in the picture??<p>I would like to share our welcome letter with you... please read it and click on the red underlined links for more information about the concepts...<p>Hello [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] and Welcome to Marriage Builders!<p>First, I would like to share two links with you. Just click on the underlined links here, and read –>Tour of Marriage Builders and General Welcome. <p>Please read everything you can on this site, post and read often!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I have been betrayed and betrayer, so I have the dubious honor of knowing what infidelity does from BOTH SIDES of the situation. <p>I believe in the concepts espoused here, if applied properly. One idea that has worked *wonders* for some couples is Plan A. Read about it here –>What Are Plan A and Plan B.<p>Use what you learn here to make your marriage a safe place where you do your best to meet the Emotional Needs of your spouse,and avoid Love Busters whenever possible. . When a decision must be made, use the POJA to determine the final outcome that you can both agree upon.<p>Many couples find that counseling is VERY helpful, and the counseling provided here is excellent for several reasons; but the most important is that it goes along with the concepts here. Check it out here –> Counsel Link<p>Again, welcome to our community, and feel free to write often and ask lots of questions!

Grrrr.. I can't stand when people reply to heartfelt posts with Dr. Friggin' Harley propaganda.<p>I'm sorry to hear about your situation. First thing's first: the thing that immediately caught my attention is the fact that you and W have never fought or argued. That tells me, at the risk of being presumptuous, that your communication hasn't exactly been robust AND/OR someone in the relationship hasn't been entirely truthful with their feelings. In other words, one person has been leading and the other one following. Could this be the case?<p>When one suggests a place for dinner does the other simply reply, "Great, let's go." ? What about money decisions? New purchases? Differences in philosophy? No one ever gets bent out of shape? Frustrated with the other? <p>Discourse is to relationships what clouds are to the sky. Metaphorically speaking, without clouds, there are no seasons. What a boring existence we would lead if it were 80 degrees every day. Perhaps your W simply burned out? I'm guessing she's not telling you everything. There is either someone else, or she has hit the a glass ceiling of sorts.<p>I think you guys should go talk to a counselor if at all possible, if you haven't already. And if you have, try a new one, and approach her a bit differently. Tell her you want to do it because you're having trouble coping with your emotions NOT to "work on the marriage." The latter might scare her off.<p>As for the money, she has a legal obligation to pay her bills. Love has got nothing to do with that. <p>I wish you the best of luck.<p>TFA

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ThingsFallApart:
<strong>Grrrr.. I can't stand when people reply to heartfelt posts with Dr. Friggin' Harley propaganda.<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>I'm sorry to read this. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Please remember that this is the Harley's site, so many of us (most of us, I'd say) feel a deep gratitude to the Harley's for their fine work in Marriage Building. I am one of those people.<p>Welcome to you too, ThingsFallApart... I hope you can find something here to help you in your situation.<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>