Hi friends,<p>As I signed onto my computer today and came here to check in, it was different. I don't know how long it's been different but I also don't see too many familiar names today either.<p>This letter is for all my friends who have supported me here for almost 2 years now. I haven't posted in about 2 months and here is the reason why.<p>First and most importantly, I started back at college the day after the Sept 11 disaster. I almost didn't go and I was very grief stricken for a few weeks. But I got myself together and I did it.<p>Midterms came in. I have straight A's in all my classes! I consider myself to be "slacking" off lately and I don't really do what I know I am capable of, but with a full time business to run, and single mom of 3 kids I don't have a lot of free time for school as it is. School is Monday thru Thursday from 5:45-9 or 9:30 depends on the night.<p>I haven't had time to check in on anyone and I hope everyone is doing well. <p>The break up with Bri is still going strong. We talk a few times a week, I see him about once a month. I learned a lot from his betrayal and the relationship and I know in my heart that even though I love him, its not enough for us. I don't believe in "him changing", or "chasing" after him even though that is what he wants, I have let go. It was hard, it hurts and I wish it was different but its not.<p>My ex wants to take the kids for Christmas. I can feel a battle coming on. I'm not going to send them on the one day he chose to leave us, and I'm not leaving their happiness in his hands after what he chose to do on that day. Also, he hasn't taken them for any visits since mid June so I feel its unfair to start talking to me now about the holidays, when he last saw them 5 months ago.<p>Life is very busy for me, and I'm seeing someone new. This time, very slow, very cautiously and I'm not going to give myself or my heart up easily ever again.<p>I hope everyone is doing good with the Holiday's approaching, I'm starting to feel a little apprehensive.<p>My new email address is dmbrown@frontiernet.net if anyone wants to contact me.<p>Hugs, Dana

HUGS Dana,<p>I'm glad things are going well for you..<p>Wonderful on the straight A's!!!!<p>Will e-mail you soon...

Hi Dana,<p>CONGRATS ON THE STRAIGHT A's!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Nice to see your update... yes, it has changed a bit around here, hasn't it?<p>Remember, if you're headed my direction, we MUST get together, okay?? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>BIG HUGS Honey,
Sheryl

(((((Dana)))))<p>I know how a hard 'crash' teaches you to go slow the next time, painful lesson but one good to know.<p>Congrats on the grades and keep focused on that, your education is one thing you can count on! Once you know something, it can't just pack it's bags and leave. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Except in the case of old timer's ... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: Princess Buttercup ]</p>

Hi Dana,<p>Glad to hear that school and grades are going well. It's hard, esp. with work and kids, but you're so brave to taking that step. Keep up the good work!<p>I'm approaching my 2-year mark here too (my original name was Mrs.O). I lurked for many months before I posted. I still visit around once or twice a week.<p>As you can see from my story below, I am on my own too and feeling pretty good about life overall. Some days, I still feel the pain and sadness of what happened, but like you said....<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I know in my heart that even though I love him, its not enough for us.....It was hard, it hurts and I wish it was different but its not.<hr></blockquote><p>My divorce isn't even filed yet, so no dating for me. But I can relate....take it slow and easy in the dating department. Find out what YOU want and need and don't settle for anything less.<p>Keep the faith! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
Aloha,
Ms.O<p>[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</p>

Dana - it's been so long since I talked to you. The job search has had me so bummed it isn't funny. But I think I am turning the corner. <p>I'm so glad to know you are doing so well. Straight A's - you go, girl!!!! Give those girls some hugs just because this must be tough for them too.<p>You are doing well to take things with this fellow very slowly. My opinion, as I have stated it before, is that you haven't really healed your heart from the divorce - much less all that stuff with Brian. I do hope you'll go slow and do that before anything else happens to wound you more.<p>You're gonna make it! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

{{{Dana}}}<p>Congratulations on the straight A's! You should be so proud of yourself for managing to do all that you do. Just remember that it's OK to not be a superwoman; you have to have a bit of time for yourself. You're doing wonderful, and if you put more into it you'll burn yourself out. <p>Think of new, good things for the holidays. That is how I am going to try to get through it all. Take care of yourself!<p>Lori

((((((((LADIES)))))))))<p>It's SO good to hear from you all. It reminds me of how much I miss this place. I only hope new people who come will find just as much care and support that we did.<p>I remember when this all first happened, I was checking in by the hour! Now I have NO freetime! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>This new setup is nice I will start using the smiley's more now too.<p>Cinderella - I'm sorry we miss contact so much on IM, this DSL service I found out leaves me online all the time now, unless I manually sign off which I don't. Then AIM signs on automatically after I sign off. Everyone is complaining about it, but I am never even home anymore! I am sending prayers on the job search. I do believe that the right one is out there and there is a reason for this delay in finding one. Waiting for the right opportunity in life can be hard, but when you find what you were looking for, it was all worth it in the end [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Ms. O - I LOVE your new name! Its almost as good as when I went from lonelymom to DanaB! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] I wish I had some time to get caught up around here. I don't see that mega thread of Mitzi's anymore!<p>Sheryl, I am closer to you than you think! I will be doing some travelling soon, to Michegan, then to West Virginia, and I am pretty close to Canada anyhow, let me know where you are on email and I'll come visit after the winter! I hope married life is treating you well.<p>TR - I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were. Send me an update on email when you get time, I might not make it back here for a few days. <p>Lori - Thank you for your support. You always have good advice, and you are right, that superwoman thing is gonna hit me soon. I guess I just want to get college done SOON. That means, to do it in one year, I have to cram it all in. I just keep thinking of what it will be like next year to close my daycare, and go work at a real job, with real benefits, and real days off, and grown ups to talk to, and hey, a steady paycheck too!! Then I'll be home in the evenings with my girls too. I can't go back before school ends, or I'd never see my kids, so I know what I have to do, but I try to keep it in perspective. Hopefully I'll find the strength and energy to make it!<p>It's time for me to get my kids ready for their first visit to dad's since Father's Day. I know it is going to bring me many emotions and I'm not really looking forward to it. I want them to have a relationship with their dad, but not if its going to be on his terms, and not stable and consistent. Then I get stuck answering all the questions.<p>Hugs to you all, and email me with some updates until I can get back here!
Dana

Dana,<p>Sometimes, in order to help build the relationship
with their dad, you have to kind of help it
along..encourage your daughters to want to go
even if it's just an overnight till they all
feel comfortable, him too..<p>Yes, you were hurt very deeply by him, but he is
their dad, and they need a relationship with him..
and who knows..they may see in him what you seen
years ago..or he may treat them horrible, but, unfortunatly, they have to learn these things on
their own..and he may even end up learning to
be responsible for someone other than just himself..