When Jen and I first got married, she was already pregnant with our first child. Three days after our wedding, we went to the hospital for a checkup, and she accidentally left her wedding rings on the back of the toilet... and didn't remember until the next day, when they were long gone. <p>That week, I went out and bought her another ring. I couldn't afford to buy her another wedding set -- especially not like the ones she had before -- but I got her this simple little gold band with a heart of tiny diamonds on it. I told her that ring was a symbol that no hard times could ever break the love I have for her -- not losing her rings, not anything. <p>I later managed to get her another set of wedding rings, but she continued to wear that one on her right hand, as a symbol that we could get through everything together. Friday night she gave me her wedding band and that ring back. <p>This past Sunday we had the chance to talk a bit, and I asked her what that ring meant to her. She said what we had said all along -- that was the ring the represented us being able to get through anything together. I gave her the ring back then, because it wasn't the ring that represented our marriage, and she put it on. Last night I got the chance to explain why I gave her the ring back. <p>You see... even if we're apart, even if I'll never hold her again like I once did, this separation and imminent divorce is something that pains us both -- and there's no reason for either of us to go through it alone. I promised her to stand by her and to help her understand her feelings -- because it's something I'm good at. At the same time, she is standing by me, treating me like a friend. <p>And things are better. <p>They're not perfect, but they're better.

You are a lovely writer...<p>So, this is your story, kind of globally... could you share details now??<p>Welcome, and here are some links for you to read...<p>Tour of Marriage Builders<p>General Welcome

Details...<p>I'm not even sure where to begin. I'm not sure about all the abbreviations you guys use, so I'll just tell the story how it is.<p>Jen left me for the first time last year. She needed space. She came home within a day. Over the course of the year, however, she had three "one night stands". But she didn't leave me, and we worked things out.<p>I think through alot of it, big chunks of me died. I didn't know how to handle her unfaithfulness, and so I poured myself into other things -- the kids, work, computer games -- anything to keep my mind off the hurt.<p>As a result of that I became withdrawn, and eventually began to treat her as a fixture -- just another reality that was "there".<p>Last week she decided she didn't want to be a fixture anymore.<p>She had met a guy who had been making passes at her, but she told him she wanted to work things out with us. I guess she just didn't see things working out. Friday night she left me.<p>That's about it.