Where to start..<p>Married almost ten years.. two great kids (5 and 6). I left when I thought I had fallen in love with another woman from work. Never had sex with this woman, but believed she was my soulmate since my wife and I never liked the same music, movies, places, etc. <p>Things my wife and I have always had in common are fantastic sex (huge physical attraction) and a great friendship (which manifested during our current two month separation).<p>My wife and I have now been separated for 2 months. Didn't work out with me and the other woman. I have finally come to realize how lucky I am to have a wife that unconditionally loves me, and we're BOTH ready to FIX our marriage...BUT..<p>We don't ever want to separate again.. and I never want to hurt my wife again. I want to learn how to be content. .. to be happy about being a father and a husband and stop seeking everything in the world I think will make me happy. I also want my wife (6 years my junior) to be my equal, and not like a little sister. I want her to be my soulmate.<p>I need help.. or I know we will fail again.<p>Please help me.<p>Thank you and God bless.

TFA,<p>You've come to the right place if you want to try and save your marriage. It sounds like you have a good start in that you both want to work on it. There is lots of information available on this sight that can help you make your marriage the best it can be. <p>If you and your wife will work together on the MB concepts, your chance for success should be great. Do yourself the favor of reading all you can on this site. Buy the books recommended by Dr. Harley and work through them with your wife. <p>Encourage her to post here as well and both of you visit as often as you can to get support and caring from a community that knows exactly what you are going through.<p>I will post to you again.

TFA-<p>First of all let me congratulate you on realizing your mistakes. I wish my husband would.<p>Read all the stuff on this sight. The Harleys have a lot of info. on fixing things. They also have some awesome books which you can buy here too. Get them!<p>Get informed and work together. I wish you luck!<p>K

TFA,<p>Read all you can in the articles section. Also, here's a start on His Needs, Her Needs.<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5520_qa.html<p>I heard from others on here, you should buy the book "His Needs, Her needs", as well as "After the Affair".<p>Also, I think you and your wife should come on MB together. You should also both fill out the EN questionaire.<p>Good luck, I think it's great you now see it takes work to make any marriage happy. As for soul mates, I don't believe in soul mates, Happiness and staying in love does not come easily, we all have to work at it. <p>My favorite quote I've ever read is one by a post by Happy_Hus, I liked his entire post. I'll copy it for you on the next post. In his post he said this.....Tom Robbins once wrote: The bottom line is that people are never perfect, but love can be. We waste time creating the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. <p>Take care,
ANNA

One of the main issues I have is the amount of money my wife makes. It simply doesn't support the lifestyle I am 50/50 capable of supporting. If we get a real nice house, I will have to carry the brunt of the financial burden and completely sacrifice, not having any extra money. I find this HIGHLY frustrating.<p>Thanks for comments thus far.

TFA<p>Money? Think about this very carefully. You can't judge your level of happiness with your wife based on how much money she makes. What if in the future your wife becomes injured or loses her job? Will you leave her because she no longer has an income? I don't know your wife, but maybe her level of education or devotion to her kids prevents her from getting a higher-paying job. You can't hold her responsible, and love her less just because she doesn't contribute 50-50 to the finances. There are many wives out there who do not work at all but instead stay home and take care of the kids. Consider what you are saying.<p>-A.

I hear what you're saying; thank you for your comments. Let me clarify: I'm not saying I love her any less, nor would I *EVER* leave her if she lost her job or got injured (in fact both have happened in the past and I never left her). I know there are "stay at home moms" out there. I'm not interested in one of those. Those women *generally* stay home, take care of kids, watch TV and learn nothing stimulating to talk to their husbands about when they get home at night. So their husbands end up seeking women they CAN talk intelligently with about current events, etc, all of the things their "stay at home wife" has no clue about. Then, when the kids graduate and move out, the wife is unfulfilled, has no clue about what's going on in the world and begins to resent the husband because she's never had "a life." This happens every day in every way. I believe in women as equals. I want to be an equal partner in my marriage, I don't want to carry it. I don't think I'm too far out on a limb here.<p>Thanks again for your comments.<p>TFA