This has been a very hard road. I knew about some of the things that we have since faced together, but as time goes on, I am beginning to want out of this marriage. The first was that he went for years without filing taxes. I thought it was just a matter of getting the years caught up, and perhaps some penalties, and it turned out that there was one year of non-payment, which after all the years passing, amounted to over $35,000. We got through that one.<BR>Now there is an issue of a 17 year old student loan, which he denies, and his ex tells me it is his. This will now cost over $5000. Then the ex tells him, (via MY e-mail) that she is going to go after back child support.<BR>He had always paid support directly to her, and there were some lost years of no record keeping. There are 3 older children, and this will surely amount to a bundle. <BR>These are all things that he has neglected to take care of when he should have. I am an injured party to all of this. I have been the one doing all of the legwork to resolve these issues.He simply does not have the mental capacity to be resourceful. and angers very easily. He allows me to worry and fret over all the consequenses that his past is bringing into our marriage. <BR> I am beside myself. Any suggestions? We have a small child at home, who loves her Daddy, and I have another son, from my first husband. We have worked very hard to get where we are now, and my H treats me well.<BR>I just feel trapped, and feel that all that I work for, is paying for his past mistakes. Its not fair. <BR>

Nope. His behavior as you describe it sounds pretty selfish and irresponsible. Not only are you caught up in his tax evasion, but he (apparently, you weren't clear on whether he paid or didn't pay, possibly implicating the ex in a "pay me twice" scheme) hasn't been paying his child support? That sounds pretty selfish to me. His kids would suffer directly as a result of that. So he has his ex, his kids, and you all suffering because he is irresponsible with money. Good luck.

Yes, he has been paying support for his other 3, as long as he has been with me.<BR>Money has been sent in a form of checks, or money orders, and (in my opinion) is isn't that much, but all we could afford. He has tried to persuede 2 of the 3 kids to live with us, and we had one, for a year, and at a different point, we had another for a year. He would prefer to have them all here. At this point, one of them is 20, the other is "the golden child" and will be going to college, on a scholarship.(Whenever that one needs money, we have sent it directly to her) and the youngest (12) is the one we had for the last year, and we have sent money on a regular basis, prior to that year, and now that he has returned to his Mothers home, we continue to send money for him.