Well, she's really going wacko now. Some of you know my story about how then wife won right to move 3 hours away with my precious daughter to live with OM. I fought for custody and lost. That was a year ago and the first 2 months or so were really rough on my daughter with the dropoffs and pickups. I was lucky enough to be granted relief on the travel with the final property settlement at divorce 2 months ago. I still have to drive, but not to the halfway point. Instead she has to do the majority of the driving. A month ago, at the end of my visitation, XW failed to show up and my D kept asking for Mommy. Mommy was out at the Indian Casino watching NFL football all day with the brigand she's with and was too partied out to show. Since this episode, my daughter has reverted to her old ways at the beginning and end of visitation, especially the beginning. When I get her to my place on Friday night, she lays on the floor kicking and screaming like a two year old. When I discuss this with her "mother", mom says, "I think she has hypoglycemia, just give her some sugar. Yeah right. Daughter tells me when she's sad that "mommy pours sugar down my throat."<p>This is tearing me apart. I wish I could rescue this child and take her from the environment of her mother and her creep.<p>This woman is in effect terrorizing our daughter. Why won't she admit that D is torn up inside? Why won't she discuss therapy for her?<p>I guess I'll have to arrange therapy sessions here every two weeks when I see her.<p>I always knew XW was capable of this kind of thing. I pray like heck that God will enter her life somehow and she can recognize the seriousness of what she's done. I guess the 6th commandment was established for a reason.

You know my stbx cell phone was shut off 11 days ago for non payment. I have no other means to contact her or my other daughter except pony express 1200 miles and now 5 months. I do not know what is going on in her head she has not called even collect to give me a back up phone number if I have a emergency or Randi gets hurt. She did not even call this weekend I feel that is real strange. Space aliens again. I have a friend I could call to drive over to the house and say wake up. The lights are on but no body is home. How do people change like this she has not even talked to Randi for 2 weeks and only sent her 2 cards in 5 months. Space sliens again. <p>I can not figure it out.

Oh (((((((((catamount))))))))))))!<p>I am so sorry for what you and especially your daughter are going through. You have to take action. Not only get her to a counselor, but a pediatrician as well! For your XW to say she "thinks" the child is hypoglycemic is just nuts. This is not the kind of thing you just casually diagnose on your own. <p>Don't let her go back to her mother without a complete check-up and instructions from your pediatrician. The pediatrician can probably recommend a counselor too - be completely honest with him/her about everything going on. <p>Good luck,
M

I wholeheartedly agree with Wiffle. By all means the child needs to see a counselor. And for the mother to be so dismissive about the sugar is weird. Perhaps it is the mother. Perhaps something is wrong. <p>I don't know where you are but I do know that, in my city, there are pediatricians who are in their offices on Saturdays and sometimes even Sundays. It wouldn't hurt to have a check up done. I bet it's been a while since your daughter had one, especially if the mother is currently that self-absorbed. <p>At any rate, if the child is being neglected or worse, having the medical information might help you improve the child's situation.<p>And the MD could help you find a counselor. Also, some of the schools in your area might be able to provide information. Do you have divorced friends whose children might be in counseling? <p>I know my children benefit from seeing their counselors. Daughter could probably stop going. Only goes every 3 weeks. Need to change that to every 4. Son has gone from every week to every other week. They love going and beg to do so. I don't find out much about what they talk about but I can talk to the counselor about how they are doing and what I can do to help - things the child might not tell me about. <p>Get on the phone now!! Child is obviously in distress.

i agree with cinderella, you get her help on your time, and then you begin to build a case for custody. just because you lost initially, doesn't mean that you have lost forever. . ..<p>and your daughter has alot of formative years left. . .<p>good luck. . .<p>and i know the feeling having a whacko for an X!<p>WIFTTy

Thanks All!!!<p>Sorry for not getting back sooner. I'm going to arrange for therapy for daughter on my weekends. Unfortunately, she is on XW's health insurance so I had to leave her a message to get the information. That should set off a firestorm. Our only communication is by leaving voice messages on each other's cell phone. I hope that will change one day, but XW has caller ID and won't pick up the phone when I call.<p>As for the hypoglycemia, I do not believe that D has it. I've seen her go hours in the morning without eating and she is just fine. I think XW just uses this as an excuse so that she won't have to admit there's any "side effect" on daughter regarding divorce. Her entire family is unable to address these kinds of issues and just go about life with the "everything's fine, everything's great" line of bull. What a bunch of spiritual neophytes.<p>Thanks again....will let you know what happens.

Just a quick note for you on the hypoglycemia (since I have it, my kids, my 3 sisters, and my dad), DONT just give sugar. That will lead to a worse attack later. <p>A glass of water or orange juice along with a piece of white bread, and some protein will help during attacks. Hypoglycemia does not cause temper tantrums...during a bad attack people lose engergy and feel faint and want to lie down. They may sweat, shake, become irritable, and finally be unable to speak very coherently. It is not really a dangerous condition (natural hypoglycemia as opposed to a diabetic that's overdosed on insulin). <p>A healthy diet with a good portion of protein, fats, complex carbohydrates can help prevent attacks. Caffeine is a big no-no for hypoglycemics, as it raises adrenaline in the body, and adrenaline is one of the hormones out of whack during an attack.<p>Some doctors don't believe it and don't diagnose it. Especially since there's no drug treatment or regimen outside of diet.<p>If you think your wife might at all be right, be sure to give your daughter a high protein/fat breakfast to start her day out right.<p>Good luck making the world a safer place for your little one!

Just an update, and thank you everyone for your input on this.<p>I decided to arrange for therapy for my daughter during her every other weekend visitation. But get this, I asked wife for insurance information, actually left voice message requesting it. The very next day, she leaves me message saying SHE made an appointment for her. All this comes after a year of my trying to get XW to get daughter in therapy, all the excuses from her, and now I make the move and she makes an appointment.<p>Does this sound like some kind of control freak? XW won't give me the name and tel # of the therapist so I can monitor daughter's progress. I think I'll let this one alone for now. If the therapist is any good, she'll want to involve dad. If I don't hear from the therapist in a few weeks, I'll have to pursue this again.<p>Any opinions?<p>Jay

I have a related problem. <p>My son and daughter have been in therapy for several years. X has yet to meet son's therapist despite her efforts to contact him. He does not take son to appts. during their time with him. Same for daughter's therapist. He never responded to letter from son's psychiatrist to come in to talk. (Son has ADHD.) <p>And he says he wants to be a good dad.<p>Wanted daughter to stop going. So she's cut back from every other week to every four weeks - in gradual steps. Now her grades are going crazy. A gifted child in a new school that has never dealt with 5th graders before - only 7th and 8th - and her grades are in the A-D range.<p>Just wait till I tell him we've got to have psychoeducational evaluations on both children. I wonder how long it will take him to reimburse me for that since he hasn't reimbursed me for a couple of years worth of out-of-pocket medical expenses.

Catamount,<p>I think I remember you posting before that you live in MN. I live in MN and was initially concerned about my H. pulling the kind of capers that your ex-wife currently is and my attorney told me to document everything. Luckily I haven't had to do that because my H. has been good concerning our children.<p>If I were you, I would document the activity your daughter is displaying, I would document the things your ex is saying and doing (especially the casino episode) and I would take her sorry butt back to court.<p>Good luck!

I'm sorry about your situation. You don't find too many fathers these days wanting and trying to obtain custody of their children. I commend you for that. <p>I think that you should get your daughter checked out because I just don't buy the "hypoglycemic" story that XW tends to use about your daughter's behavior. Has she shown you any medical documentation that your daughter suffers from this condition? If not, get her checked out by her pediatrician. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that your daughter needs counseling. Apparently, your wife doesn't care to notice. I hate to sound harsh, but I just have bad vibes about mothers who knowingly neglect their children or willing fail to take adequate care of their children's needs (spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and financial). That's what being a parent (especially a mother) is all about. It seems to me that you are doing her job as well as your own. Again, I highly commend you for that. Wifey will get what's coming to her. If her new beau cannot accept her daughter as well as her, then he is not worth having. Your daughter is better off with a parent who genuinely cares and you seem to be that parent. Don't give up. God makes a way out of no way and I am living proof of that. Fight with all you energies to make sure that your little girl has the childhood that she is entitled to. Good luck and hold your head up. You will get throught this.