tell me how a man married for 6 yrs and dating all along could think he is a changed man?<p>h moved in w ow 3wks after he left home. they were dating for 5 months prior. he had been cheating since we got married on and off. he says he is now faithful to ow b/c he has changed and that is who he wants to be with. meanwhile after 7 months of their relationship he was fooling around with me.he would stay over on the wkends (ow thought he was at his mothers house w our daughter) meanwhile he was sleeping at my house with me.this went on for months.<p>in sept.he came back home (it only lasted 6wks)he claims the reason he came back was to prove to his family that we wouldn't work out.so he was still seeing ow and was lying to both of us at the time.she thought he was staying at his aunt;s house to be closer to our daughter(meanwhile he was home sleeping with me and still spending to w her)<p>he is now living w ow again and she knows the whole story i told her.he says their love is so strong that is why they were able to over come this.<p>i would just like to know how is he changed when he was messing around w me for months.and how do you go from being married to moving in w someone after 5 months of dating and 3 wks after you leave your wife and child. how do you claim to come back only to prove a point to your family meanwhile you say you don't care what people think or say about you.so why come to prove a point?and at the same time put your child through the confusion.one minute here next minute gone?<p>he even went to counseling 2x with me while still living w ow.planned a family trip for nov.(now cancelled)spent wkends at the house talking about i am coming back i just don;t know when and then in sept.bam he comes back and at the time was pretending him and ow were through (says that was also part of his plan)<p>and he was ok with having daughter on the wkends but slowly he start to not come on fridays,and not call and show up at his convience.or he would come but not spend the night with her. everything was when he got ready.he is very selfish.<p>so how does one move in with someone so soon and not even give themself a minute to deal with the issues as hand how do you move in after 5 months of dating and think this is the one?i think its impossible am i wrong.and how do you spend yrs with someone using them and lying to them all along

How you ask? The fog. Selfishness. Irresponsibiilty. <p>Him being faithful you ask? Is that possible? no.<p>His words mean nothing - its as if he is speaking a foreign language. Let his actions communicate to you and it makes much more sense: the fog, selfishness and irresponsibility. It sounds like when he tells you something you are trying to process it as truth - STOP doing that - you already know he is dishonest.<p>Now let me tell you what I really think about your WS: He is a &*@@####**^^^^!!! <p>Sorry your here. Are you PlanA'ing?

in regards to notheard's question no i am not plan a'ing.we are in the process of filing for divorce.does anyone else have any imput.i would love to here from everyone out there.

I am sorry your here. I hope you get more responses. The Board has been VERY busy lately, so keep hanging on and keeping bumping up your messages if you haven't gotten what you need. Have you read up on Plan A and Plan B? It is possible to Plan A and Plan B while going through the divorce process. It is about taking care of you.

((((((LEFTALONE))))))))<p>How old is your child?<p>I wish I had an answer for ya on that one. The only thing that I can offer is don't waste your time with the "How's" and stressing of the decision's that he made. I know that's easier said than done but the reality is that the "how's" and the "why's" don't matter.<p>Now the only thing that matters is taking care of that child. Providing the absolute best home you can and being the best mom that you can.<p>Just as a side note so you don't think I'm from Mars with this opinion. My X had all the sign's of an affair, many people told me of a possible affair, but what good would it of done me to know "Who, What, When, Why, or How". NONE. In reality we were either divorcing or not. So when the opportunity came for me to do discovery I chose not to do any. I burned phone bills only keeping the amound owed and so on. <p>I guess my point is to please focus all your attention on yourself and your child.... Believe me I've been there and done that and once I was able to focus away from the X the healing began.<p>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers from Kansas

lost husband
my daughter is 6 yrs old. why do you ask the age of the child anyway?(just curious to know)<p>anyone else pls post i really find the post to be very encouraging. pls keep them coming

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by leftalone:
<strong>lost husband
my daughter is 6 yrs old. why do you ask the age of the child anyway?(just curious to know)</strong><hr></blockquote><p>My girls are 12, 9, & 6. Though this area is for adults divorcing, my first thought and concern is for the children. So I was just curious as to her age to try to get a little understanding of what that little darling thought about the antics of her father.