my question is [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] o people really change.my h had been cheating throughtout our marriage.i believe he was cheating the day he said i do. we were married for six yrs(separated by our 7yr anniversay)<p>he was cheating left and right.had a with receptionist at work while i was pregnant and so on.he is currently living w someone from work(different job) they have been living together for about 8.5 months he moved in five months into there relationship at which time he lied and told her he was separated and divorce was in the works.<p>he claims he wanted out of the marriage for yrs but just didn't know what to say or do.so in his mind he made himself divorced.<p>at the same time after we had been separated for only 2 months he started spending wkends at our house to be with daughter (yeah right) he slept in the same bed w me and we were intimate on occassions.ow thought he was at his mothers house w our daugther.this went on for months.until he moved back home for which only lasted 6 wks.ow thought he was at his aunts house.(another lie)
finally everything blew up and ow found out everything.<p>he is now back at her place.claims the truth is out and they are gonna work for there.(there love for one another is so strong) yeah right. she is who he wants to be with and he is now gonna be a changed man. meanwhile he was the one who cheated throughtout our marriage not me.i was always trying to make things work.so how did he come to the realization that he can be changed?how do you cheat on your wife,abandon your family and then think you have found "the one" and you are gonna give this "new relationship" your all b/c that is what you want.what was it about me that was so "not the one"?<p>he went to counseling w me 2 sessions and back out.says he doesn't need someone convincing him what to do.he can change he doesn't have a sickness.he had the affairs bc he wanted to.now he doesn't want to and he wont <p>meanwhile they work together so they
1.go to work together
2 do lunch together

message got cut off here is the rest.
3.they go home together and spend all there free time together.<p>i believe he will eventually do it to her.what makes it so different? i mean he got married at 25 and he is now 32 but all along he has been playing games so where did he change and how could he change overnight? these are the things i am questioning. did he change? can he? i don't think so that is why i was posting.if he was so bad to me how is he gonna wake up and be some new man? who even during his relationship with her he was still fooling around with me.<p>also he said he is nonconfrontational and doesn't like "beef" so he pretty much said anything to me not to argue(kinda whatever will keep you quiet deal) if he had that approach with me i think he has that with everyone.<p>ow seems to think she knows the truth about whatever comes out his mouth.
i have known him for 10 yrs her a little over a yr but she feels (they both do) that they know each other sooooooooooo well and have this deep connection

just needed to bump myself up

Your post could have been written by me. However, we were together 25 years, married 21 and have 4 kids.<p>He told my son yesterday on his first visit with him at his new apartment that he had to make sad choices. But he is happy now with his girlfriend. <p>My husband has had 6 affairs. We worked through those...the last time was just before he retired from the AF. He cried and sobbed and was so sorry he had let me down.<p>Now he is telling everyone he was the only one who tried in our relationship. He has seen the light and his new relationship has shown him what love truely is. What a crock.<p>I don't think he is capable of change. His life is all about him, his wants, his desires, his everything. A new women is not going to change that. Right now he is up on her pedastal. He can do or be no wrong. It won't last IMO.

just wanted to bump myself up as i was falling to the bottom and need to get some more responses.