This is my first time here, and I am surprised that many people are going through this. I thought there was something terribly different and wrong with me, I still do, however, I feel that I am not totally alone. I have 3 kids and I want to be married, I dont want to be divorced and I dont think anyone will ever be truthful and want to be married to me again. People say I am pretty, but I dont feel it cuz, well no one wants me for what is inside, and what is outside dont want them .. if you know what I mean. I want a man that Has GOds objectives in mind. I don't really care that he is good looking, or anything, I want a honest caring man I get a long with, why is that so hard. Everyone says, what is wrong with you -- your so pretty you shouldnt be alone.
What does that have to do with it. My ex (s) all are with fat/not pretty women -- not being mean... just a fact. An what is more, they are not hiding inner beauty either. They are mean contentious women. So am I odd or wierd by wanting to be kind and nice and friendly and gentle. I am feeling so overwhelmed at times I dont think I can live a minute longer. misslisa@visp.net [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Misslisa,<p>There are men out there who can see the inner as well as the outer beauty in women. Just remember the outer beauty is what you see first and what pulls you to that person, but what you fall in love with is what's on the inside. Not all people get this or can get past the outer shell, but there a few men out here in the world that can see the true beauty of women and that is all on the inside.

Hey MissLisa,<p>Be assured that there are such men around. And some of them are married to unfaithful wives and are just as broken up as you are.<p>I sit in church (every time, but tonight too) and look at couples sitting together and I remember that before we married my W always went to church with me. I was so proud to sit beside her! But for most of my marriage, she refused to go with me. For all of our marriage, she has wanted another man. Well, I've just about decided to let her have him. I can never please her. Nothing I could possibly do would ever be good enough for her. I just wanted a normal life - a wife who loved me, kids - nothing fancy, just a peaceful, loving home. I don't watch sports. I didn't work late. I didn't hang out with my friends. I gave up everything for my wife, and what did I get? She was always wanting another man.<p>I know how you feel. I wonder "can I ever trust another woman?" She was so wonderful BEFORE we got married. Yes, there were problems, but I guess I just didn't take them seriously. But before we married, she always treated me respectfully and lovingly. Almost immediatly after we married she became violent. I was so AMAZED, SHOCKED! How could I have known? How would I ever know about another woman if she would be like that. I was always "walking on eggshells" while we lived together - trying everything to please her, always expecting her to blow up. When she left, I begged her not to divorce me. I felt so rejected. But, now I have come to understand that she simply was not the person I thought she was. I hope that when I am ready, there are good ladies like yourself to be found.<p>-AD

Misslisa,
Here is what I have learned. I assume you have been born again, otherwise this will not work. Focus on God first. Then he will give you the desires of your heart. God's timing is perfect and it may not line up with your schedule. Where you find a future spouse says a lot. There is a big difference if you meet someone in a bar or in a church. Think about that. Focus on your children above that of finding a man. I would not be impressed with a woman where I detected she placed her needs totally above those of her children. It is better to be patient and wait five, ten or fifteen years to find someone suited to marry and live with for thirty years than to find the wrong person now and spend forty or more years with him.