I am a M 31 who divorced last November. My ex and I have two kids together and she has two other children from previous relationships.
My ex has had a pattern of abandoning her relationships for her entire adult life. She has been with seven me in the past year and a half and her last fling was with my ex-best friend.
Recently She has started going to my church. She is getting really involved and things are very wierd. THere has been a lot of healing between us and she has admitted her pattern and a problem with her sex conduct and wants help. We have been talikg for a couple of months now and it seems she wants to restore our marriage and has talked about the possibility.
There was a lot of hurt in our divorce and infidelity played a role. I believe that she was acting out a sick behavior and with counsel seh can get well. I have known her 6 years and we were together 5.
How do you start that process and where do you start?
She is struggling with four kids and has no other boyfriend to help in over 4 months(a long time for her.)
I believe in marriage forever and believe that with God's help we can make it work. I am scared and leary but trusting in The Lord.
Has anyone ever done this?<p>Please let me know what you think....

Been there done that.<p>Well read my signature line. I too believe in marriage forever. But I NO LONGER believe marriage forever AT ALL COSTS. We are in recovery and things are going fine. But I don't think I will ever be at a place where I will say "That will NEVER happen again" i think that the possibility is always there and that is the reality. <p>It is better now than it has ever been but if it were to happen again it would just hurt that much more. <p>Just take it slow. Don't do it for the wrong reason (like the fact that she is struggeling with the four kids.)<p>I came to know the Lord through the painful divorce. We dated (God's way) for 9 months then remarried in 3/97. When the dust settles and normalcy is in full swing - that is when you have to watch out. I went into it thinking we could conquore the world. It nearly cost me my sanity - it jolted the foundation of my faith. <p>Make sure boundaries are set. Don't let things go to keep the peace. Hold one another accountable. Be aware of the warning signs and nip them in the bud. <p>Also realize your situation is unique and different then anyone elses. There is no majic formula and no guarantees. It is a leap of faith on your part. <p>We are both very involved in church. He seems more committed now than he ever has before in his walk with the Lord and our marriage. <p>As a Christian, be aware that there will be enemy attacks on your marriage. So hang on - your asking for it. <p>But what is life if you don't take risks?<p>I would say start with counseling. We are doing Imago therapy if you can find a counselor who know about this technique - it has been a tremendous help for us. Make sure you have friends who are also married. <p>Good luck!! It's o.k. to be scared and excited at the same time.

Thank you very much notheard. What you said encouraged alot. Things are going Ok but I still struggle with all the emotions. My ex-wife wants to be good friends, but every time we start getting a little close i get really wierd, I start having all the lovy emotions, sexual tensions,and I also get scared.it gets very frustrating. I am trying to be patient but don't know how long to wait for her to make a decision.I have been here before and waited a lomg time toi get to a place where I was finally getting over her. Now things are all different and I am trying to have faith and love the Godly way.
Please pray.<p>Thanks,
Seamus