I am a M 31 who divorced last November. My ex and I have two kids together and she has two other children from previous relationships.
My ex has had a pattern of abandoning her relationships for her entire adult life. She has been with seven me in the past year and a half and her last fling was with my ex-best friend.
Recently She has started going to my church. She is getting really involved and things are very wierd. THere has been a lot of healing between us and she has admitted her pattern and a problem with her sex conduct and wants help. We have been talikg for a couple of months now and it seems she wants to restore our marriage and has talked about the possibility.
There was a lot of hurt in our divorce and infidelity played a role. I believe that she was acting out a sick behavior and with counsel seh can get well. I have known her 6 years and we were together 5.
How do you start that process and where do you start?
She is struggling with four kids and has no other boyfriend to help in over 4 months(a long time for her.)
I believe in marriage forever and believe that with God's help we can make it work. I am scared and leary but trusting in The Lord.
Has anyone ever done this?<p>Please let me know what you think....

seasmus,<p>People DO change. I recommend that you just take it very very slowly. See if what she does matches what she says. Take your time. Don't just let her use you. Don't change your financial relationship. See how she reacts to your small moves. If she becomes frustrated and demands more money (or some other demand), you will know that money was what it was about. If she is patient, contrite, respectful, cooperative, then keep going - very carefully.<p>-AD

It's great that you found this website! Try to read everything you can about Marriage Builders on the website and you may even want ot buy a copy of Surving an Affair to get you started on the road to recovery. You will want to begin to follow the principles suggested, and maybe even have a counseling session with one of teh Hartleys once you've read the info. and can ask them quesitons to get you started. You'll probably eventually have to find a good marriage counselor to work out the day to day issues, but at least you've got a start! Good Luck! K

I agree, take it slow. Also visit www.restorem.org. It is a good source for restoring marriages.
Morriggs
morriggs@yahoo.com