About two months ago, my husband announced he wanted a divorce. Within 2 weeks, our house was up for sale and I was served with divorce papers. About 2 years before this occured, our marriage was very unstable, with husband debating openly about whether to stay married and be miserable or single, free, and happy. I was miserable, but continued to pray that things would change.<p>Once I realized he meant business, I decided that moving back to my hometown 330 miles away, was the best decision. I was alone, scared, and rejected in his hometown, I wanted to get my self-esteem back.<p>I've been back to my hometown for a month now, but I feel lost. The friends and family are here, but there are things that I am still lacking that I thought would be fulfilled once I moved, like reliable babysitters and companionship from family members. Since I've been here my mother has caused me the most hurt and pain, the one person I thought would help me through, has now become someone I have distanced myself from. I am really the only person that is willing to watch over my kids, everyone else is too busy. It hurts to think that in your time of need, your family isn't there for you either.<p>I've thought about going back. I read a book that said if there is any real hope for reconciliation, we will need to be closer. Although I dread going back to his small hometown, with the rumors, lies, and possible other woman, I feel I must belive in my God and know that he will protect me. I want the children to know there father, that would be almost impossible with us living so far apart from him. I also want to be available to him and his needs.<p>I've started looking for a job there. I already know what schools my kids would go to. I feel comfortable with going back in that sense, I'm just afraid that when I go back, he will have found someone else, even though the divorce is not final. I don't have any family there, and the only support I have is from my church members, but for some reason, I felt more at home there, than I do here with my family.<p>Any thoughts would be appreciated!!<p>[ November 12, 2001: Message edited by: SEBREA ]<p>[ November 12, 2001: Message edited by: SEBREA ]</p>

I'm glad your exploring that possibility for it is really important to the children. I don't know what it's like out there but I live in a tiny town and when my x moved she moved about 18 miles away. That seems to work pretty good.<p>As for your support group, it's great that you have friends in the church and I also tell you that there are many here that will provide the necessary hugs, thoughts, opinions, and kicks in the butt when needed.<p>Take care of yourself and keep us posted.....<p>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers from the Dust Bowl

MY EX AND 3 KIDS MOVED 700 MILES. EVEN THOUGH MY INDISCRETIONS FORCED HER TO MOVE I WISH THEY WERE CLOSER ONLY FROM A RECONCILIATION STANDPOINT. I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE THEM CLOSER. MY PRAYERS FOR MYSELF ARE FOR A TRANSFER BACK UP "NAWTH". MY PRAYERS FOR YOU, THAT YOU WILL LEAN ON THE CHURCH THAT YOU SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN COMFORTABLE IN. GOD KNOWS HOW TO TAKE IT FROM THERE.<p>GOOD LUCK, MIKE

Yea! I sent my resume out to some areas around my husband's hometown, and a company that is located about an hour from my husband called me. I was so excited, this would be a perfect opportunity if it pans out, because this town is about 45 miles away, as opposed to the 345 miles away we are now. This would be close enough that he could visit the kids regularly but far enough to where I can maintain my own life. I pray that this job works out.<p>I have released my attorney. After reading the book "How God can and will restore your marriage" one of the first things to do if you want to restore your marriage is to stop all bickering, arguing, and division between you and your husband. I'm doing just that, I'm not going to court nor will I contest him on anything else at this point. I don't want a divorce, so I will continue to act like the woman God wants me to be.