OK Guys, here it is and many thanks for all your information. Please note that not every entry knew the ansewers to the questions.<p>This is the result of the OP profile survey posted on D/D, GQ11 and recovery forums.<p>1. Age of O.P.
9= 20 to 25yrs, 16= 26 to 30yrs
8= 31 to 35yrs, 14= 36 to 40yrs, 3= 41 to 50yrs<p>2. birth order
5= 1st child, 1= 2nd child, 3= only child
1= 3rd child, 2= 5th child<p>3. Education of OP
5= HS drop out, 9= HS, 15= college and more, 1=AA<p>4.How did OP meet your spouse?
20= at work, 8= bar, 4= friends pre A
gym, school, chatroom, online<p>5.Did OP know that spouse was married?
All, but one, knew!<p>6. Was there contact between you and OP?
YES, with few execptions<p>7. Parents of OP married or divorced
13 still married, 14 divorced<p>8. Was there abuse involved in OP life?
This was hard to get a count but there was a steady abuse thread in the explainations given, Alcohol, drugs, abusive alcoholic fathers, husbands and boyfrieds. This may explain the "victim Theme".<p>9.Other
Rebound, financial problems, job stress, victim mode, need to be rescued, boundryless. low-self-esteme, needs to be "special".<p>Thank you all for doing this survey. I know that for many of you, this only brought up hurts that are painful. I would like to know if you have any new insights through this exercise that have helped or enlightened you. This did help me, and I think you so much for you envolvement.<p>Please know that I truly ache for you when I read your stories. I believe that MB is helping me to be a better person, wife and Mother. I know that I cannot change my Daughter, however I have learned here that I don't have to be part of the problem. I know that MY disrespectful judgements and angry out burts have contributed to the problem. This behaivor has ALL STOPPED!<p>Know that I think that many of you are doing Gods work wheather you believe in God or not. I believe that the best of the best are here for those who are up for the chalenge.<p>"People try to justify their behaivor by creating a belief system that supports it".

Thank you for the survey results, Marry. I was very interested in those results, esp. the one that stated that so many OP seem to view themselves as "victims." That was sure true in my case with my H's OW.<p>The OP definitely seems to be lacking self esteem as demonstrated in your survey as well as being boundary-less. <p>In any case, I think we all learned as much as you did from the survey. Please know that you are NOT the typical mother of OP. Most of them are in denial with their heads in the sand, only bobbing up once in a while to "excuse" the bad behavior of their children. You certainly don't fit that profile, if there is such a profile.

Hi Marry-<p>Thanks for posting the results. It is so amazing that with all these similarities our WS's and their OP actually believe they are special. I also agree with the low self esteem part, I mean how else could you fool yourself into believing that what you are doing is o.k. and that it won't come back to get you too. Keep in touch.<p>K

Moving on
You are kind. That would be an interesting profile to do of the "mother" of the OP. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Still reeling
thanks for the bump!!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]