my question is do people ever stop and think?<p>how do you go from being married into another commited relationship in which in 5 months you are living w the person?
not only do they live together but they work together,go to lunch together and go home together.they also spend the wkends together.<p>is it possible to go to something that "deep"without taking time to deal with yourself.don't people need time to get themself together before moving on.<p>don't people need to spend some time alone and have some "me" time?won't you get sick of someone if you spend that much time with them.you don't even really have friends all you have is them.<p>how do you cheat on your wife and date while you are married and then commit to living with someone? is that a serious or sincere relationship for that matter?<p>i just think its impossible to jump from one to the other without taking time to deal with yourself.<p>how do you know divorce is all you want when you never gave marriage a chance.a person like this seems like maybe they shouldn't even be married b/c it looks like they get bored to fast.<p>do people get tired of one another if they are around each other 24/7?i heard they do but i want to know what somebody else has to say.<p>also how do you have so much time to dedicate to women when you have a child? shouldn't your focus be your child instead of living with ow and making that your main objective.<p>pls post i am curious as to what others have to say

just needed to bump myself up

Hi Leftalone-<p>I think you know the real answers to all of your questions. You know your husband is in the fog. In real relationships you need time to deal with one before jumping into another, you need time to heal, you need time to yourself, etc. That is where the fog comes in. <p>Affairs are based on fantasy not reality that makes them so addictive. Once that addiction is established nothing makes sense to the BS. I think we all have felt or are feeling what you are. I guess that's why although it is very hard, you must focus on you and your child. <p>You can't change him, you can only change yourself and while you are probably right about a lot of things even if he is trying his hardest to convince you that you aren't, the simple fact remains that there really isn't anything you can do. For your own sake you really need to let go of it and trust in God.<p>I am starting to sound preachy and I don't mean to. I understand your anger and pain totally. I have 4 children and my H has done so much to hurt all of us. He moved out Jan. 30, 2001. For a long time I beat my head against the wall trying to change his mind, etc. to no evail. I have in the past 2 months really let go. My H is still with the OW and he is still screwing us over, but my attitude has changed. I know I am right about so many things and I know how important our family is, but I finally have accepted that I can't make him realize it.<p>Who knows? There seem to be a lot of threads lately about WS's coming back out of the blue and asking for another chance. It seems that the Harley's are right, time is the key, affairs do usually end. I guess the question is do you let your WH who is totally in the fog control your life? I know that I can't do it anymore. If the fog lifts and he comes to his senses and wants to try maybe, but I have a life to live in the mean time and I no longer want to waste it on anger towards a person who is for the time being unreachable. <p>Take care of yourself. You are right, he is in the fog. This is so painful try your best to ignore his actions and accept that they in no way reflect the person you are.<p>Take care,
K