I have a wonderful ex - boyfriend who just got in contact with me after 15 years !!! We loved each other very much -- but he had a girlfriend whom he'd grown up next to his whole life and their parents were friends, etc. So he married her --- and really, we would've never made it married --- we are so different --- we used to say that I am "city" and he is "country". But nevertheless --- he found me on the internet and we talked for 6 hours the other night. And it was so nice to hear his marriage is wonderful and he's happy ---- and we still love each other --- just not the passionate, romantic kind of love. Problem is his wife still hates me to this day and won't allow our friendship. I am heartbroken! I have so very few male friends ---- the ones I do have seem to end up wanting more --- so I don't trust men. My husband is fine with the friendship..

I understand completely!!My DH though doesnt want me to talk to my ex husband at all, he can talk with his ex wife(about there daughter he claims) but still...there is that "need " to know....that we all have. I just cant rid the 11yrs that i have really loved my ex. For silly reasons and immaturity i left. I now found him on internet and i can relate to that long talk...hey ours was about that long....and it was so fullfilling!!i would do what you think is right in your heart.

My situation is different than either of yours (elle or Brenda). I have an ex wife and two beautiful little girls with her. She is good about the kids (ei. Lots of access and doesn't use them as a weapon), but the most she every wants out of me is to take a pot-shot at me or tell me how difficult her life is. (As background it is important to understand that the divorce was her idea and I was opposed. No counseling, no nothing. Just 1 month's notice to get out of the house.)<P>I now have a girlfriend I have been seeing about 7 months. Things are going pretty well, we seem well suited. But I can tell you this: She finds my ex and any feelings I might still have for her somewhat threatening. And I would think with good reason. You don't just drop 11 years of emotional attachment and think you are so strong you won't ever be tempted.<P>So, my advice would be: be very cautious if you think you don't love the person any more, and totally stay away if you thing you do. There is just too much chance that you might find yourself involved. Even if you don't, your husband's emotions will be hard to predict. He might say he will be fine, but he can't even know that at this point.<P>If something does happen you might find yourself with no men instead of two.<BR>

elle, what do you want to do? if you want to be friends, go for it. chances are, you'll have to address the question of sex. but, still, go for it. it might work out. what do you have to loose? why even bother asking for a second opinion?