This probably sounds like an odd question and I'm embarrased to ask it but here goes: is it normal for a man to prefer his wife to bring him to orgasm by hand as much as by intercouse? Do both orgasm feel just as good or comparable to one another? Thanks.<p>[This message has been edited by hurtingwife (edited October 12, 1999).]

what ever gives him pleasure. Which one does he prefer....if you read my post...my husband excepts it all to be done to him.

Well, he says both feel good to him. Sometimes he prefers the hand method. I just wonder if he is telling me the truth saying they both feel real good. Maybe I'm just being parinoid wondering if he'd rather not have the intimacy of intercourse with me. Thanks for replying. I'd like to hear from some men, though.

You asked for a man's opinion, so here goes, for what it's worth....... <BR>I personally prefer the big O through intercourse. And once in blue moon, the otherway is fine, too. If you haven't already done this---ask him. It's probably just his personal preference, or a phase. Are you both being satisfied?? If so, let it be for now. It doesn't sound like anything freaky or strange to me right now. Either way, the orgasms feel the exact same way. Just a different way of getting there. For me, it takes longer if W does it by hand, versus shorter if by intercourse. Kinda like taking the country road instead of the interstate! That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. Hang in there! (I'm kinda embarassed!)

I believe my H considers a complete blow job (inc. hand action) a treat, but he loves to be stimulated orally, then finish through intercourse. He would probably agree with the posting guys...any way is fine!

I'll chime in here... <BR>I'd prefer intercourse but there are times where I'd just love to be relaxed and get a good hand job. Yes the end result feels the same, but the process is much different. In my case it's always me doing all the "work" during intercourse, always on top, always thrusting, always working up a sweat. I'd like to be able to relax and "enjoy" getting to the big "O" every so often. <BR>That's the difference. My problem is that when things were going good with my W and I, she would use her hand when she really wasn't in the mood to get all bothered but knew I was in the mood. But soon it got to the point where she said it took too long or it was gross, etc. She completely refuses to do oral on me...why? I have no idea, she did it when we were dating. She says that also takes too long and is gross too. She's NEVER done oral to me more than a minute and NEVER to completetion. I on the other hand have always done anything she wanted me to and never complained, I have more fun or pleasure seeing her being pleased. There have been many times where I would "take care" of her and that was it, we'd snuggle, kiss and go to sleep. Oh the good old days... Now I guess I need to find another woman who will take care of me too. ok, I'll wait till the divorce is final first...

Huntingwife,<P>Anyway you get there is great. I have my preferences and so does my wife. Being together is the important part. Do orgasms feel different? Yes, but for more reasons then the method of getting there. Time since last one etc. Men have a tendancy to be very visually stimulated so that is often why oral or manual stimulation is prefered. The hand can produce more friction which becomes more important as we men age. Oh by the way if you haven't tried baby oil for what your husband prefers try it. He will love it.

Dear Hurtingwife:<BR>Don't be embarrassed to ask something you don't know. Well, my husband prefers the manual or mouth stimulation and sexual intercourse comes second. If I would give him a hand job everyday and no intercourse that would be fine with him. Go figure. So, I guess every man is different. Why do you ask in the first place? Is something bothering you on the difference between the two?

Thanks everyone who responded. I feel better now. Thanks again.<p>[This message has been edited by hurtingwife (edited October 16, 1999).]

blues, that's right, for goodness sake, wait for the divorce to be final. you certainly don't want to break a rule.

blues, that's right, for goodness sake, wait for the divorce to be final. you certainly don't want to break a rule.

Hurtingwife,<BR> From a woman's point of view, my H prefers good oral sex, usually about five or ten minutes...then we have intercourse. He has never had an orgasm during oral sex because he would rather save it until I have an orgasm (he's a one-orgasm guy). I usually give him oral sex until he cannot hold his orgasm any longer and then we have intercourse right away and it lasts another 15 minutes or so. That's sort of a routine with us. It works great! As far as hand jobs go, before I was comfortable with giving oral sex, he always wanted me to use my hand just to give him an erection. Then we had intercourse. To me, just oral or just a hand job doesn't satisfy both partners, unless you love to give and not receive.<P>Stacey

hurtingwife:<P>The big "O" is different for me depending on how I get there. Manual is the least intense for me will oral is the most intense, but intercourse makes it last the longest. So go figure. On a lot of occassions I would stimulate my wife orally to orgasm and she would do the same for me. Then we would have intercourse and reach orgasm again. I often stimulate her manually, but I seldom have it done to me, just not my preference, I much prefer oral.<P>Flip

My husband says the feelings are different. He like it when I do him manually and actually so do I.