I need to ask a few questions here that just boggle my mind. My younger brother is 30 yrs old, still living at home with the folks, pays no rent, bums off them, etc. Is generally lazy and does nothing more than play video games and surf the Net. But the kicker is his Net relationships he has. He goes into these sex chat type rooms and I guess picks up girls. He might even get some by way of other type of chat rooms for all I know. Problem is he claims these girls he talks to as being his actual "girlfriends". They could be a million miles apart and have only talked over the Net or at most over the phone. I'm sure they've had "cybersex" and all but how in the world can one claim to be "dating" if in fact they've never even met eachother in person? They send photos to eachother so they each know what they look like, but some of these have gotten to be pretty serious. He's flown to foreign countries to meet up with a few over the years. Just for the record the relationship pretty well ended soon after. Well now he's "involved" with a girl who's 31 and has 4 kids, she even calls him her "boyfriend" and herself his "girlfriend". She claims she's extremely serious about him and I think they're planning on doing something very, very foolish like dare I say marriage?! He won't listen to reason (never did actually) I've all but begged him to slowdown and atleast live together for atleast 2 yrs before doing something stupid. He shrugs it off. I tend to think she might just be after him for some $$ or something??? Who knows? I guess my main question is how in the world do people justify these type of "relationships"? <BR>I love my brother and all but I must admit, he isn't to capable of dealing with the "social" aspect of dating. Is this the way these type of people can hide their shortcomings? I guess so until they finally do meet. But then you've got the problem of not really knowing who you are traveling to meet. They could be a real maniac and you can become a statistic. I've come real close of trying to teach my brother a lesson by getting into the same chat room he is and claim being a woman who has all the same interests as he. (I have a head start... ) lead him on for as long as I can and see what or how far he'd go with info or travel for someone he really didn't know he was talking to. Have him travel to meet me, and then BOOM! There I am. I just don't think he'd get the message and think it was a joke.<BR>What is it with people these days?<P><BR>too long, sorry

People go to chat rooms for the a similar reason that has brought you to this board. They are looking for something. The difference is that you are looking for advice on a problem. They often are looking to fill whatever emptiness they are feeling. Trust me as a guy I can see that talking to "girls" in a chat room as a lot less threatening then real live conversation. In a chat room you can also creat whatever image you want to and no one will know what is true or not. Chat rooms can be simply escapes from lifes stresses but they hold the danger of replacing real live human interaction as well. You are right to be concerned about your brother. What you describe seems to be addictive behavior. You need to decide what you really want. Do you want to find out what he is really up to and how far he might really go? If so your little ruse might do that. If you want him to stop because it is destructive you have little hope of success with your stated plan or any other plan. His problems are much deeper then a chat room addiction. Actually this is just the latest manifestation of his total lack of maturity and self-esteem. Your parents have been enablers. They have allowed him to never have to stand on his own two feet. I would recomend family couseling for your brother and your parents. They likely will not agree but it is what needs to happen. You might even offer to go to couseling with them. It is always hard to watch family member choose such a distructive path. I'm sorry for you.

When I first started chatting I was engaged to an alcholic for 3 years. He brought home a computer and I told him that the computer will cause nothing but problems between us. In which it did. I had never heard about the chat rooms, but one day I fell into one while I was surfing the net. It was there that I had met my husband that I am married to know. Yes we lived 1800 miles apart, but I was willing to move that 1800 miles and to be away from family and friends. Since I have been living here with him for the past year and half, I have met others from the net as well. In which I have become very good friends with. So my point here is, maybe your brother will find that certain someone, but he must be careful. For I have met some weirdos and also have been raped by one man.I dont' let it bother me much, but it helps me help others to know that you can never be to careful. I recently decided to stop chatting and meeting people off the net for certain reasons, it is bringing nothing but hardship between my husband and I. Let your brother know that just because he is male, doesn't give him any reasons why he shouldnt be careful. Good luck!