With all the "issues" my H and I have been dealing with lately, I lost alot of weight. I was well endowed and now my breasts have shrunk considerably. A few weeks ago while having sex my H went to touch my breasts and imediately pulled his hands away. I felt like the unsexiest woman...talk about killing the moment.<P>I asked my H what was wrong and he said..."your breasts are too small now, I want you to put on more weight". Talk about busting my ego. Now every time we have sex he completely avoids touching my breasts. I want him to touch me again! I dont consider myself too thin...5'4, 117lbs, but he says my breasts totaly turn him off!<P>My questions to the other men are...<BR>Have you become turned off by your wifes breasts because of change(weight loss,pregnancy)? <BR>Does size matter that much? How can I get my H to touch me again. This is killing my sex drive because I cant concentrate on getting turned on because all I can think about is.."he hates my breasts". It is almost like me telling him..."Ya know, your "member" just isnt as hard as it used to be." I would never, ever say that to him. It is to cruel.<P>Please, any advice or insight would be very helpful.<BR>Please give me some insight. I want to feel sexy again...I want my H to want "all" of me, not just part of me.<P>

He's a jerk. There isn't anything wrong with your breasts. Most men would be exstatic to be with a girl who is 5'4 and 117. Tell him to drop dead.

Caron,<P>ouch. I can see why that hurt. Its no fun to be intimate and open yourself up to your spouse only to be ridiculed.<P>How is your H with foreplay? Is it to your liking? Is he affectionate enough before, during and after? I know your first reaction muct have been repulsion, pain and anger and maybe his biting comment was due to some frustration of his own and not knowing how to clearly identify it he pointed the blame your way. It so much easier for us to blame our actions on those of others, but it can be very distructive.<P>Since we can not actively change our partners we have to look to ourselves and our own actions to 'convince' them to change for us. I know this sounds unfair, but is your husband satisfied in bed? You should be able to tell when he is really into the moment. If he seems rather humdrum about the whole thing, take the initiative and do something wild. Get him so into it that he wont be able to control himself. I know its hard to put past bitting comments behind us, but if you fixate on them they will kill you and your marriage. The more you go out of your way to make sure your partner is happy (in sex or any other aspect of a relationship) the more likely they will be to respond in kind by pleasing you. It wont happen overnight, but if sex is the only concern, it likely wont take to long either.<P>As for breast size, I could care less. Its all attitude and how into it my partner is. If my partner seems like she is just along for the ride, then I feel guilty and begin to question myself. <P>Hang in there.<BR>Zyg.

Caron:<P>Soory but your H is a total jerk. Strippers are pure fantasy who spend a lot of money on plastic and silcone. Mostly are totally unreal. A real "A" cup beats store bought "C" cups. Besides a guy doesn't fall in love with your breasts. If he does, he has more problems than we can solve.<P>Flip

My wife was probably 35 pounds lighter when we married nearly 21 years ago. She has also given birth to two children and nursed both. Does her body look the same today as it did as a 21 year old blushing bride? No. Does this effect how much I love or desire her? No. Why? because I took a vow to love her no matter what. To me she is the sexiest woman on the planet! Why? Because she is the only woman on the planet that my vows allow me to even think about being intimate with. What I'm talking about is committment! The issue that you and your husband need to deal with in your marriage is his lack of commitment to you. I read your profile and this man has demonstarted to you how little he really cares about you. Bigger, firmer, perkier breasts will not solve any of your problems. I don't mean to sound harsh or cruel but you need to focus your attention on the real problem in your marriage - his lack of committment.<p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited October 21, 1999).]

Caron,<P>I just wanted to tell you that I know exactly where you are coming from and I sympathize with you greatly.<P>After my first child, my breast size went from a perky B cup to a not-so-perky C/D cup. Ever since then, my husband refuses to touch my breasts. I asked him if it was because I nursed our daughter (almost 2 years ago) and he somehow thought they belonged to her (I know that's a common problem with some men), and he basically told me the problem was they were "not perky enough". Talk about hurting my feelings! He even went so far as to give me advice on how I could build them up again!!<P>Anyway, I don't know what the solution is, I just wanted to know there's someone else in your shoes and I know how it feels.<P>Hang in there....

Thank you for all your replies. I guess Im feeling very insecure latley and needed to vent. I know Im feeling sorry for myself..Im just trying to understand why my H would do this. My H is a body builder and has always got alot of attention about his phisique. Now that Im not pregnant or trying to get rid of "baby" fat and have this slimmer figure, maybe he doesnt like the attention Im getting. I know Im love busting him, but Im just really hurt right now.<P>Zyg...Our sex life was always fantastic. Im not inhibited as far as sex goes(Im up for anything). I have gone out of my way to turn him on. I have made movies for him, stripped, massages, ect. ect...This is why his "activities" hurt me so much. I feel like, "what else can I do for this man?" He has never complained about our sex life. Maybe I should have held back more sexually because than I could have kept his intrests at home.<P>Emmiebear...Im so glad to hear Im not alone. Im so desperate that Im thinking of getting implants. My husband said.."No way!" He said that would turn him off more. I guess he doesnt want me to look like "stripper" material...god forbid other men might look at me like he has other women!! Im really in a bad place today. It was very nice to hear from you.

Caron,<P>I realize that it's important for you to hear from your husband that you're desirable to him and attractive, believe me, I wish I could hear the same thing from my husband, but DON'T get breast implants. The health risks aren't worth it.<P>You need to work on feeling better about yourself, and that validation needs to come from yourself, NOT your husband. I know what he thinks is important to you and it should be, but don't let him make you feel bad about yourself. Love yourself for who you are, don't try to change to meet anyone's approval but your own.<P>Also, a book that really helped me was "Passionate Marriage" by Dr. David Schnarch. Check it out!<P>Gotta run, baby's crying.<P>Keep us posted.

Remember ladies...<P>There are alot of us men who PREFER small breasts...<P>I can't stand it when my wife doesn't like her breasts....I don't enjoy large ones....<P>Believe it or not...MANY of us think small breasts are much more attractive

Caron, I'm sorry to hear about how rude your husband is being towards you. I am 5'7 and weigh approx. 115 pounds, and have a 36 C. My ex fiance used to complain about how small they were/are. But I now recently got married to a guy who loves every part of me. I never thought my breasts were big enough, but my husband says they are "his perfect perkies". Maybe he is saying this to be nice, maybe not. But when ever he says such things, it makes me feel more loved and more special. I suggest you sit down with your "rude" husband and explain how such comments make you feel. Tell him it hurts to hear such words coming from a man who is suppose to love you for who you are. And please! Dont get implants..like the others say..its not worth it.Let us know what happens. and smile