Hi All,

Welcome (I'll go with Wesley) - Sorry to see you go through this, we all here can relate well. I agree with all Avondale and Wallace said.

As Wallace said your W is really into it. My [urgent] advice to you is to back off! Don't chase her, let her run with it and run to the dead end. You see, an affair is a weakness and not strength. Why go chasing somebody that’s weak? While it appears she's having fun and leaving you behind, she's not. She's going backwards with OM and will suffer in the end. That's why you got to work on you( Plan A) Leave her alone (Plan B).….She needs her space and alone time..

You see what you had is now gone. You can't bring her back to the same'ol same'ol and expect to live as you did before. It's now a new day and new things..You must create an environment that you are happy in despite what she does...Once she see's that you are getting along without her (having fun and succeeding, believe it or not it draws her back to you.….It makes her question, why did she leave?

Here’s a secret weapon but it’s painful to use. In all your discovery of your WW’s and OM’s conversations, try to remember what she said she liked about him, why? Because it’s really a (love bank) feeling she’s searching for and not really the OM, he’s just an outlet/rebound. Write down what she says she doesn’t like about you, it’s painful but it works. Remember, she says she still loves you. You can use those conversations of OM and what she dislikes about you to your advantage in your Plan A.

As far as legal issue's make sure you keep every receipt from this day forward. I don’t know if you have kids but jot down everything you do for them and keep every receipt. It’s a sad thing to do but this is why I’m paying child support arrearage today, why? Because I didn’t have any physical record of what I did for my family while WW was having her multiple affairs even after she moved out. What kind of parent goes about and keeps track of what they spend and do for their kids? Well the court wanted to know, so they labeled me as some deadbeat father……

Anyway hang in there, all is not lost. One thing I can say is that only being married two years, you’ll recover faster than most here….I envy you…

Wallace – To answer you question how are “ Laches” a two-edge sword.

One scenario: (This is the one that sliced me, it worked against me) As I was standing for my marriage I was acting in trusting manner with WW doing my normal fatherly duties. Even though ww moved I was still involved with kids and family but kept no receipts and log of activities. So, ww files for DV 1 year later after affairs started dv final in 2002. I still would not participate or sign some papers trying to stall. Well she sent those unsigned papers to the court and it look like abandonment of my right to file claims, failure to participate at the given opportunity….So the courts were like, well, where were you? Where is your proof of receipts? Why come you didn’t come, Why come you didn’t respond, etc….


So as the [great]Avondale wrote on: “Laches”

Quote:

“Laches” is an unreasonable delay or negligence in pursuing a right or claim; can be asserted as a defense to a claim. I have no clue why your ExW would think YOU were delaying things. Were you doing anything to stall the divorce (and prolong your chances for marriage improvement)?

The answer is “Yes”, I was stalling the DV in hope to restore my Marriage, but didn’t know I was breaking the law in doing so. I should have agreed with her immediately and signed every paper. I was stupid because she had a plan and knew parts of the dv laws. My heart was thinking, let’s rebuild our relationship. Her heart was set on “ I’m going to take him for every penny she could get.

On the flip side how “Laches” work for you.

Scenario: If a woman never pursued child support or alimony until 10 years later after separation or DV. The man could use “Laches” against her and not pay child support or alimony. That’s why some courts are abolishing this law in certain legal actions, child support one of them.

“Laches” is an unreasonable delay or negligence in pursuing a right or claim; can be asserted as a defense to a claim

It this case you prove the woman purposely exercised laches against you when she could have taken action within 2 years verses 10 years.

Laches was never intended to be used in family law, this was intended for medical mal practice suits and real estate issues. Laches is found to be a loophole in some State laws….

Hello to: Avondale,Leah,Relady, Petvet, Country M, Trusting Him, WAID, WGTT, Dave PR, and anyone else I missed, sorry!!


Me: Found out that exw's CS request was informal and went straight to the hearing officer/judge, therefore I sent a letter to the court that threw a wrench in all of it (BAM!!, cling, cling) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> so that killed that action for now....Other than that just living life...

Take Care

I'm staying confused, at one minute I'm thinking I need to try and get her back home and try to see how things go for a little while, but then you make a good point too, but with her saying she is going to go talk to a lawyer next week scares me, and I find it hard to just sit back and not care about that. I also wonder if maybe once she gets there she will get to thinking about what is really happening, or there is also the chance that she wont even go. She has been so hesitant to make any decisions so far, that she might not follow through with this one either.

I had even thought about trying to go ahead and talk to a lawyer this week and get papers started to really throw her off and surprise her. She knows I don't like the divorce idea, but if I was the one doing it, I would be somewhat taking control from her, and she wouldn't know what to think. It would be like me opening the door to the birdcage....but I really don't want the divorce, so I don't believe that is a risk worth taking.

So I'm in a debate with myself now. Leave her alone, and let her file for DV or Try to talk her back home and try things out for a period, that is if she would even be willing to.

I also wonder if I should keep holding her mail and make her come get it from me face to face, or be nice and leave it in the mailbox or drop it by the front desk at her office for her.

Wes - keep your screen name whatever you want it to be - no need to go out of your comfort zone for THAT! Lord knows you’re already out of your comfort zone with all the stuff going on at home!

It is possible to Plan A even when your W isn’t in the home. You just need to be more intentional, and more direct. EC explained it well, and had a great idea about writing down things that she has said she didn’t like about you. Usually there is an element of truth in them, if we’re open enough to see it in ourselves.

I would totally try to stall her filing for divorce. Have you considered writing a letter or email to her? That might be one way to communicate with her. I would suggest taking it one step at a time: Tell her you’ve seen some of the things wrong with yourself and want an opportunity to improve on them, so that you both can experience a great marriage. We’d be glad to critique it if you want. If you try to get her home, as you mentioned, that might be considered pushy.

Talk to a lawyer if you want....but before you do, visit these sites.
Divorce Source
Divorce Info
Divorce Net

They might tell you all you need to know. And whatever you do, don’t tell anyone you’re seeing a lawyer. Although seeing one is only to inform yourself of your rights, it could be taken by others to mean you want to dissolve the marriage. If you're telling your W that you want to work on your marriage, but she hears you're seeing a lawyer, it would confuse things. She's already confused enough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Me - I'm waiting for H to call, I reminded him earlier of us getting together tonight; not sure why he hasn't given me a time... Oh well!

Hope everyone is doing well <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 05:27 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi everyone,


GRRRRRR - I just posted ( I thought) but nothing showed up. Can't go into it all - this will have to be a drive by post now - go homework to do!
Welcome newbies, glad to read about oldies, and wallace - stay strong when it comes to the GF !!!
Volkswes - I plan A'd from 1200 miles away & according to steve harley it was a good modified (for the distance) plan A

Me - still sailing on a race crew, back to being a soccer mom and doing well in real estate, just takes time to build up so I am playing beat the clock before the money runs out. (which is right about now!)

WH is away most of the time, probably doing old stuff, I just focus on me and the kids and where I am going. If he wants to come along, fine, if not, I 'll continue to pray for him and focus on the Lord.

Last week, God sent me an angel in the form of an assistant. We've got some digging to do to get out of the hole I am in. what a relief !!! She is a huge help. Plus she grew up in an alcoholic family and went thru all this stuff with her mom.

Blessings!

D.

Avondale - my thoughts and prayers are with you always.

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 08:58 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Hi all!

Volkswes:Sorry to hear about your issues. I someone recommeded earlier, I would back off for a little while from comfronting your w. She knows what she is doing, and she is trying to move away from you so that she can continue doing her thing with you looking over her shoulder. I would talk to an attorney as soon as possible. You are in the danger zone.

Wallace: Do one of those positives/negatives assessments on your relationship. I bet you will see things even more clearly.

Me: Living life.

I'm gone.

Hey all,

On the run as usual... got a few moments before I go out with my G/F tonight.

Wes...

IMHO... your in a position with your situation to work a good Plan A.

Plan A., is for you. Your "W" not need be present to work a good Plan A. Read up on this site about working Plan A., and take time to evaluate what may or may not have got you into the position your in.

Do not use "D" as a bluff or a scare tactic on your "W". It's bad business... and it could back fire right in your face... especially when in fact you don't want a "D", and you really want to put your "M", back together.

You cannot talk reason with anyone that may be in the middle of an "A", you can only work your Plan A., and be the best person you can possibly be. That and only that... will possibly bring the attention of your "W" back IMHO.

Your best bet at this point, is to take care of yourself (and your children if you have any) both mentally, physically, and legally. Plan A., contact an attorney... and be discreet about it, and find out what you have for options... just in case this whole thing decides to head south on you.

Don't beg... and don't look needy. You will only lose more ground if you do.

avondale...

Did you meet with your "H"?

If so, how did it all go?

Prayers for you avondale... I hope that if you two met, it wasn't too bad of an experience for you.

EC...

Thanks for the heads up on the legal jargon, as well as avondale's post.

I was just curious to see how you may want to use it or not use it concerning your current situation.

Sounds like your doing pretty good though, and your upbeat about everything... so that's a good sign.

Have you heard any word from either of your daughters lately?

WGTT...

Sometimes you have to leave your spouse behind in order to protect yourself and your children. It's a decision that they indeed do force us to make. But when we have had enough of all of their going-ons... it's really not that difficult.

Granted, I believe that it's a gut wrenching decision that we have to make... but, you have to do what you have to do... and it sounds like your moving on the right path.

Keep up the good work.

Petvet...

I did the assessment... and surprisingly my G/F was well above the grade. I just need to settle her down concerning this "M" thing at this point in time.

I still have my new reading glasses on though... so who knows what in fact may or may not happen. I'm just living life at this point, one day at a time... only time will tell I guess.

relady, Leah, and everyone else...

Hope your day is going well, and I hope things are going as best as they can for all of you.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wallace Thanks, I have an appointment to speak with a lawyer on Wednesday of next week. I also emailed my W today, no begging involved, moreso just informative. I just made it clear that I realized and am working on what problems I have had, that were somewhat underlying excuses for all this. I also mentioned a little about some friends of ours that just had a baby on Wednesday. They are mutual friends of ours, but she hasn't been in contact with them much at all since she left. I was trying to include something of common interest.


I just realized tonight though, that my W didn't get my e-mail I sent. I forgot that she would be out of town today and tomorrow for a wedding. So she probably won't get it til Monday.

She got in the mail yesterday, what appears to be an overdraft notice for her checking account, which I also mentioned in the email. I hate for her to not realize and bounce any more checks. (even though I actually like to see that she is short on money, and maybe she'll realize how good she had it here.) If we divorce, there isn't alot of money that she could get from me either, so she'll have a tough time affording a new place to live.

I really thank everyone for all the replies ands suggestions. It helps alot. I hope evryone has a great weekend.

<small>[ August 21, 2004, 03:48 AM: Message edited by: VolksWes ]</small>

VOLKSWES,

Hi and welcome to the thread. I too was very confused when my husband first left us. I read and heard so much advice that seemed to be conflicting in nature. I wish I knew then what I know now. You know the old hindsight is 20/20.

What you've been hearing here is good advice. Continue to work on yourself. Treat your wife with kindness and respect but do not beg for her affection. I think it's wise to see the attorney for info. but be very discreet about it. I hope things improve in your situation. Keep us posted!

AVONDALE,

Hope your meeting with your husband went well. I'm glad your appraisal was what you wanted. Keep on keeping on.

WALLACE,

Glad to hear your keeping those new glasses on. I hope you continue to make wise choices and find happiness in the days ahead.

WGTT,

Glad to hear from you. It sounds as if you're doing the best you can with where you are in life. Your situation reminds me a lot of where I am. We just need to keep our focus on God and keep pressing forward. He will take care of us.

HI to PETVET, E.C., TRUSTING HIM, RELADY and anyone else I might have missed. Hope you're all doing well.

Leah - It's great to hear from you!

WGTT - It's great to hear from you, too! I've thought about you a lot, and even did a search to see if you were posting elsewhere. Sounds like you're pretty busy, which I know helps in all kinds of ways.

Wes - Your email sounds good, and I think it was a nice touch to write news about mutual friends. You didn't open her mail, though, did you? I'm hoping that you just assumed it was an overdraft notice since it looked like one, right? I know how you feel, though - a little vengeance... LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Me - I met with H this morning. He brought all figures for financial assets he got during marriage, value at date of separation. Everything was going well until I brought up subject of alimony, and his only thinking was that he'd help pay for my health insurance until I'm declared cancer-free <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> (4 more years). I told him I thought we fit at least half of the 10 determining factors that our state cites for alimony, and when I started listing them, he seemed to see the light a little bit. Of course, he doesn't want to pay anything, but I made as good of a case as I could and possibly my lawyer will have to do the rest. He will be talking to his lawyer next week. We tentatively decided to get this done by October and to do as much settlement as possible ourselves, without hopefully getting into court. I'll keep y'all posted.

<small>[ August 21, 2004, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Leah thanks for the welcome

avondale- No I didn't open it, it was a post card like thing that you have to tear the edges off of to open, but you could see through it when held up to a light. It said Important Notice that's why I looked.

My W is in one of her friend's wedding this weekend, and I'm hoping that that experience might get her to thinking about marriage....not sure if it will be good or bad though. Hopefully good of course. I felt kinda bad about not being able to go to this wedding, well I guess I could have still gone, but it would have been really wierd.

Oh well, I gotta go find something to keep my mind occupied for the rest of the night.

<small>[ August 21, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: VolksWes ]</small>

Well, I still haven't heard anything from my W. I was hopeful that she might actually reply to the e-mail I sent, but nothing. It really irritates me that she cant even acknowledge that she has gotten any of my messages the past couple weeks. The last thing I got from her was the letter last week saying that she was gonna talk with an attorney this week. I could sense alot of anger from her in the way she phrased things in the letter. She seemed pretty mad about me calling OMW again. I don't think anymore attempts to try and talk to her or even email her are gonna do any good. I guess she thinks this all can end without her ever having to see or speak to me again.

I'm thinking I should quit with my attempts to contact her. I guess just sit and wait for the next move from her. The next thing may be her filing though.

::Wondering if she'll really do it::

Wesley

Wes,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You said: I'm thinking I should quit with my attempts to contact her. I guess just sit and wait for the next move from her. The next thing may be her filing though.
::Wondering if she'll really do it::
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree with you, don't try any more contact right now. Maybe it will give her cause to think about it. Hopefully by now you've made it real clear that you're all about working on your marriage, and making changes in yourself to see that come about. You're right, though, the next thing might be her filing. Do you have a plan if that is the case? We can pray she won't do it.

Hi All,

Wes...

What I am about to say, is strictly my opinion, and you can take it for whatever it may be worth, as I have not spoken to my exW for almost 2-1/2 years (Her choice, not mine).

IMHO, your "W" not contacting you is not unusal... especially if you have no children involved (and it appears that there are none).

There is a number of reasons for this, the main one being guilt, and feeling ashamed about what they have done, and what they are currently doing and planning.

They don't want to face the fact... that they may possibly be the one who is in fact the one with the problem. They want to live their life as the self centered person that they truly are.

When they are in this state of mind... it's all about them, and they really could care less about anyone or anything for the most part while all this is taking place.

Keep working your Plan A., for yourself. I wouldn't go out of my way to make contact with your "W" at this point... it will probably do more harm than good. Let her do whatever she is going to do. Unfortunately, what your "W" does, or doesn't do is out of your control. You have to start to begin to let her go in your mind, and in your body as hard as it may be at this point in time. Whatever way this scenaro decides to swing, mentally you should be able to shoulder the outcome be it good or bad... if you prepare yourself for the worse... it will be bad if she decides to pull the plug, but not as bad as if you thought everything was going to be O.K. If she decides to come around, and she shows you that she indeed wants to be a loving and caring "W", then you will be that much stronger in your self, and hopefully in your "M".

When we get into situations such as what we have here... it's always best to prepare for the worst... and hope for the best.

This will all eventually blow up in her face if she continues down this road she is on... and you may see the outcome of it all, or you may very well not know a thing as it progresses. Right know you need to take care of you. Go on with your life as well as you can... and keep trying to move forward in spite of all the pain and angst. It's hard, make no mistake about it... but in time, no matter what the outcome... you will become a much stronger person.

Say a good long prayer to the Lord as well. We all need all the help we can get.

Leah...

It's good to hear from you!

How are thing s going since your vacation?

Let us all know how you are doing when you get a chance.

avondale...

What can I say my little sister.

I thought maybe, just maybe... your "H" would of possibly snapped out of it and would of come to his senses somewhere along the line... but it doesn't appear so based on what you last posted.

I know that there is not much I can probably say to make it any better for you, but I want you to know... that I have seen you grow by leaps and bounds since your first posted on this thread. You have walked the walk, and the Lord knows your pain and frustration, and I know he doesn't like to see his children suffering.

There is no doubt in my mind that you will be rewarded with the Lord's blessings. In fact I hope we all will when he thinks the time is right for us.

He gave us all free will... it's unfortuante that some people... didn't see the blessings that the Lord bestowed upon us.

All I can say is... "I hope all of the WS's someday find God's word, and seek salvation through the Lord... for they will truly not find the happiness that they seek until they do".

relady...

Are you going back into hiatus again?

Petvet, EC, WGTT, and anyone else I may have missed...

Hope everything is going well for you.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all!

Wes: I think you need to limit to the bare minimum your interactions with the w. Don't let her think that you are needy and begging for her to come back. Keep up with the Plan A.

Avondale: Your H may realize that this thing is going to be more expensive than he had anticipated. It going to be interesting to see what happens after he talks with his attorney.

Later.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There is a number of reasons for this, the main one being guilt, and feeling ashamed about what they have done, and what they are currently doing and planning.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's kinda what I was thinking. I figure she may have realized for a little while that she is the one that has done wrong, and I think she is afraid to face me. She might lose her distance from the situation if she were to see me. I have an appointment with a lawyer today, then one with my counselor right after.
Last night was a really bad night for me. I don't really know why or what triggered it, but I got really down low. Thank God one of my friends called to talk and check on me. The bad dreams struck again last night too. I'm getting more and more nervous as the week goes, wondering if she filed and if I'll get something in the mail.
::hoping my e-mail to her last week might delay her::

I haven't called or tried to contact her since Saturday, and I don't plan on trying anymore, even though she really needs to get all her mail that I have from the past 2 1/2 weeks.

Avondale, Wallace, PetVet: thanks for the replies. I really value your comments, and they are helpful in keeping me thinking straight.
It is good to talk to people that can relate to what I am going through, which is one thing my 3d friends and family can't do.

Wesley

<small>[ August 25, 2004, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: VolksWes ]</small>

Hi All,


Wes - Keep the faith and know everything is going to be alright. I hope you don't take us as saying give up, but as Wallace said all WS's are self-centered at this point.

I remember trying to contact and communicate with exww in a normal way, as we always did,via email, cellphone,work, etc.. and she began to say " Why are you tracking me?, Why are you following me?Can't you move on? etc...and then she would disappear more, hide more, stay silent for days.

Then as I backed off, she would search me out when she hit a low.....It would boggle my mind. At that time is when I would be extra nice and gentle and display (Plan A).

The WS's go through extreme high and low moments just like drug addicts because those "Counterfeit" love bank deposits from OM/OW are like fast food, cheap and temporal...A lying wonder as if they will be filled and satisfied.

During an apology one year WW said the multiple affairs were not about me, but all about her, she said she had the problem and said I just got caught in the middle of her issues.

I don't know how long you guys knew each other prior to marriage but how well you guys bonded and really got to know each other plays a major role in the outcome. Many of us here were married 15+ plus years, then our WS's discover we're not compatible anymore (of course WS talk)....So anyway keep posting.....

Wallace - Did you get over your flu? No chicken soup from your G/f this time? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You asked earlier have I spoken with YD lately? Yes, after many weeks on no communication. They made it through hurricane charley. But my old city got slammed hard...Glad I wasn't there or them..

Me and YD kinda fell out a few weeks ago because I was paying her monthly cellphone bill and it kept getting higher and I questioned what was happening? She gave some bogus reason and then yelled at me " You just send me the money and that's why I didn't want you to have nothing to do with this in the first place, it's my phone and my business!..... So since then we haven't really talked. I stopped paying and I refuse to be treated that way..

Since that day I could tell she has been heavily influenced by exww that my only role in her life is to send money without relationship.....

Ps 120:7 - I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war.


Avondale - Glad you met with your H. You know, I think if I would have left my W, I would have no problem paying alimony. I would feel I owe it to her. So don't worry if he has to pay, just enjoy it.....The wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just..


Hello, Leah,Petvet, WGTT, Momma8, All our newcomers and anyone else I missed!

Hey All,

I hope everyone had a great week. The weekend is almost here again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Where does the time go??

Avondale

I'm glad to see the meetings with your H are going ok. I have to hand it to you though, the ability to meet and talk and go back to your respective places. God is truly with you. I'm not sure I could do that.

Wallace

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you going back into hiatus again? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, I won't be doing that again unless the Lord pulls me to the backside of the mountain again. And I'll give you fair warning. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

In CA I have to wait 6 months and 1 day before filing my final D papers and that will be next week. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I have been trying to get things in order, so I won't forget to change the things I need to change. I'm still deciding if I want to continue to pay for an insurance policy I have on him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

How are your new glasses working?? Have you cleaned them yet?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

VolksWes

First let me say a belated Welcome to the thread, although it's never good to be here, you will certainly grow from being here, guaranteed.

As everyone here will tell you, I'm the nice, mellow one of the group. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I can relate to your situation very much. My H and I were married 3 years, (no children) before he decided he no longer wanted to be married. Two years ago, he walked out never to be seen or heard from again. I never called him about anything, his mail, his phone calls, nothing. Although it was a hard thing to do, I knew if I had any contact with him, I would start to beg.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it can be done with Gods help and believe me that is the only way.

He knew he had mail just as your W does, he never called about it and soon, there was a change of address filed. He even finalized every small detail, He took me off the Costco card and stopped my Newspaper!! Can you imagine that! How petty!! Those were the only joint assets we had!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> because I never added him to my bank accounts or real estate that I had on my own.

So, take care of yourself, come here often and above all improve your relationship with the Lord and allow Him to be first in your life and all the other things will fall into place.

WGTT

Glad to see everything is working out for you especially real estate. Our market has quieted down a bit, so I'm increasing my pace in my marketing. It is truly a wonderful business!!

Petvet, Leah2be, Hope all is well.

relady

Relady - thanks for the welcome <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
One financial thing I worry about it her car loan because I co-signed on it, and if she meeses up on her payments it will hurt me too. She still gets statements in the mail but I think she pays it online. Maybe I can check with them to make sure it is still being paid. All her other bills are in her name only so I'm not worried about them.

I have felt closer to the Lord through all of this than I ever have before. I'm actually back into going to church regularly now, which is one thing I regret we didn't do while she was here.

Wesley

BTW- my visit with the attorney had to be rescheduled for Friday

<small>[ August 25, 2004, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: VolksWes ]</small>

Hi All,

LOL... talk about a run on sentence in my last post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> WOW!

I get to absorbed sometimes when trying to express a thought. I'm a better communicator verbally than I am at writing.

My old College Professor in English Composition (101), would not have been happy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Anyway...

Wes...

As EC, has stated...We are not, and I am not trying to give you the impression to just give up on your "M"... and I hope you didn't take it that way.

You do need to start thinking about protecting yourself though. I would indeed call your bank or go on-line to see if in fact the car payments are being made.

I know all to well what a WS can do with your financial situation if left unchecked.

Sorry to hear that you had a bad night, and a bad dream as well. From time to time... I will have a dream about my exW, and it will shoot me almost right out of the bed. Sometimes I will wake up after one of those dreams just drenched in sweat. It is not a pleasant experience!

Talk to your attorney as soon as you can... and just prepare yourself for what may or may not happen.

Prayers for you Wes, I know all to well what your going through... and it is by far one of the worst experiences you can go through... I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hopefully with you keeping a low profile, she may rethink her whole situation.

We can only hope and pray, that she starts seeing the light!

relady...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Can you see my new reading glasses? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Yep, I have them on, as you can see.

When I read your posts that are directed at me... I get a big grin on my face, and then I start to chuckle.

That by the way... is a huge compliment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I will say one thing... you and avondale are about the only two people that I know... that can put a smile on my face and start making me think seriously all at the same time.

I'm very pleased to hear that you did not go on hiatus, and you will give us ample warning.

After reading your last post though... I have a question.

Both you and I have not spoken with our Ws's for over 2 years. For me... I don't think I would want it any other way based on what happened with my situation. How do you feel about not talking with your "H" for so long?

Do you think things might have been different... had you spoke with your "H"?

I know when a "M" is left in the state that many of our marriages were left in... does anyone feel that it would of been at least decent of our WSs to at least let us know why they were ruining a "M", and a family?

To this day... I still ponder that question from time to time.

EC...

No chicken soup for me from my G/F lately. I haven't had the flu for quite some time, and it's not cold enough for Chicken Soup yet.
We are starting to come into the season for it though... and I do love good home made "Chicken Soup"!

Just for the record concerning your YD and her cell phone.

I would of probably had the phone shut off, had my YD talked to me in the way that you stated your YD talked to you... but that's just me. Until she apologized, and truly was sincere about it... the phone would stay disconnected so long as I was paying the bill.

My YD's cell phone is in my name, and I pay the bill, and she gets to use the cell phone as much as she likes.
But I get somewhat touchy these days, when people start looking at me as their own personal bank account to be used and abused.

Personally... I think it's a phase that all daughters go through... and your probably not to far off the mark when you state that your exW may have some influence on it.

Hope everyone is getting along as well as they can.

Well... I'm off to Church! You can never get too much of the Lord in your life.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Wes - I agree with Wallace, you need to check on any loan that has your name on it. The companies are legally bound to inform you. You don’t need to say anything about your personal situation, just confirm they’ve received a payment your W made. You could also find out if it was an electronic payment or a check.

Listen to what Relady and EC said, too. They’ve all been where you are with the zero communication. Don’t assume anything about your W because right now she isn’t the same person you used to know. Be prepared for anything, and keep praying for strength to walk the road you’re on.

EC - Sorry things got upset with your YD. I know that breaks your heart. Remember it is easy for teen girls to adopt that attitude, especially if their hearts are hardened. I’m sure their mother isn’t helping any in that regard. (I think Wallace already said all this.) Have you heard anything from your OD recently?

Relady - that was a great post. I’m glad you’re helping to keep these guys in line.

Petvet - Hubby has appointment with attorney next Tuesday. It will be interesting to see what she tells him. Do you think he will take my appraisal by itself, or will he want his own? Since he’ll have to pay for it, he might not want to do it. That would be good for me, right?

Leah - Anything new with you? Do you work? I can’t remember....but you are in my thoughts.

WGTT - Do you have any other income besides real estate? How are your kids doing now that their dad may be up to his old tricks?

Wallace - Did you ever finish all your house remodeling? How are your parents doing? Did the health scare help them decide to stick together, or are you in the “don’t ask, don’t tell” frame of mind regarding them?

I have probably missed someone who's active; if so, I apologize!