I know this may sound crazy since I hear so many women complain about the opposite but what can I do about my husband being too affectionate. He is constantly grabbing at me. It really bothers me. We were at my parents house and he actually looked down my shirt. I was very embarrased by this. My family and friends have all commented on how he can't keep his hands off me. If I get up to go to the bathroom he comes looking for me (at my parents or friends). It is really getting on my nerves. I told him to stop grabbing at me it makes me uncomfortable but it really doesn't help. Even when I lay down to read or anything he has to come and grab at me. He is 39 years old so I really don't get it and he gets hurt if I tell him to stop. Is there anyway to stop this. I feel he wants me just for his sexual pleasure and nothing else.<p>[This message has been edited by Elizabeth T (edited January 13, 2000).]

Elizabeth, I have just the oppposite problem, which my husband is willing to change. If you don't like him being so affectionate, you must sit him down and explain the reason why. And allow him to explain why he does what he does. Maybe it is just his way of showing how much he admires you. Did he do this before you two were married? or did it just come up recently? I learned with any problem you must talk about it face to face, and if he doesnt get it, keep talking to him until he does.

Elizabeth,<P>Well, one thing I can say is that telling him to stop and that it bothers you obviously does not work, so stop doing it. People seem to think that saying/asking the same thing over and over again will get the point across and seem amazed when they get the same responce. Go figure? Since you have told him to stop many occasions and it hasn't, try another approach. <P>What approach to try is where the problem arises. You know what NOT to do, so maybe try the opposite. Try showering him with affection, chase him to the bath room. Make sure that it is just affection and you are not leading upto sex, but non the less, you should notice a very different reaction to your change. If he does not respond to that, try another approach and do something entirely different if that method doesnt work after a few times. If you look at it, you will see the cycle of actions.<BR>1. He gets over affectionate.<BR>2. you scold him and he gets hurt.<BR>3. repeat.<P>How many times a day/week does this happen? If you sit and look back at all the times it has happened, the cycle will seem clear, break it one way or another by trying different tactics. Give one method a try for a week, and if it does not work, try something else.<P>Zyg.

Thanks Skyangel and Zyg. I really don't know how to handle this right now. We almost split up after only 5 months of marriage because he was upset I had gained weight and was treating me pretty badly. He barely even spoke to me and when he did it wasn't very nice. He also seems to drink alot. I finally said I was leaving and he promised to straighten up. He still drinks but he has been much better about the way he is treating me. I think he is still too controlling but he is working on it. I just feel like he is trying to work on it and that is why he does it. Like he is trying to show me he cares or something but since all the trouble everything he does seems to get on my nerves and all this extra affection is not helping. I really don't have any desire for him. We have been doing better now since July but I still have anger from the three months he was a real jerk. I spend alot of time imagining what it would be like to be single again but I know he loves me and I don't want to hurt him. That is why I thought maybe I just don't want him touching me because of the way I feel right now. I really don't know what to do about it. It is almost like I am afraid to talk to him now about anything. It has only been two years and I feel bad about wanting to give up. I hope you understand better now.<p>[This message has been edited by Elizabeth T (edited January 13, 2000).]