h is in a rush to get a divorce.separated for 10 months. in the beginning he was saying we should wait and see what happened and now he is all for it.he said there is no point in waiting. we need to just get this over and done with.<p>he is living with ow again(left for 6 wks)came back home (says he only came back to prove to his family) that we wouldn't work and then went right back to ow's home. <p>our 6 yr old is very upset that he is not living w us.she cried yesterday and just seeing her cry made me cry. i am so hurt by the whole thing b/c he was the one who has been cheating all along. i told her it had nothing to do with her.
he doesn't want to be with me and i can't make him nor can i make him live with us.she is really heart broken by the whole thing.(he has no idea how she feels)<p>i can not understand how he can say i am not a bad person. how we have been together for 10yrs and have a family and how he could never take the time to try to work things out with me. he had it all at home.there wasn't a thing i didn't do for him and he knows that. to say i am not a bad person and to not even give our family a try really upsets me.<p>how could you just walk away and live with ow like nothing.he works with her also and they do everything together. won't he grow sick of that.
all i wanted was for him to give our relationship a fair chance. and all he wants is to get divorced.<p>i don't understand how you could have it all.
beautiful wife,daugther and know how much we love you and still you don't want to hear it. he wants not part of me/marriage and it hurts like crazy. <p>to be with someone who cheated time and time again and i was willing to try again with him.and at first he was saying he wanted to try (don't know how true that is)and now its just divorce divorce divorce. <p>ow is so happy and so is he
how could you hurt someone who you have known so long and built so much with to just go and be with ow. like nothing. <p>he is acting like this is normal and is just so out in the open that he is living with ow and finds nothing wrong with it.<p>i also have a big problem with daughter being around ow and told him i do not want daughter around the woman he was having an a with for over a yr. <p>he is so happy and i am so sad especially with daughter's bday on thanksgiving and xmas around the corner.this will be our first holidays not together.he is just so content he is going to ow's family's house for thanksgiving <p>how could he be so happy and this whole marriage coming to an end doesn't even bother him one bit.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by leftalone:
<strong>i also have a big problem with daughter being around ow and told him i do not want daughter around the woman he was having an a with for over a yr. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>I'm in the same boat as you on this one but the fact is we have no control over that. I've decided that all I can do is accept that and feel safe with the knowledge that I've raised good girls who will form their own opinion of the situation. Our counsellor told us that having new people in the kids lives this soon will only set up for relationship problems with that parent at a later time. So I just work on being the best father that I can, try not to even talk about what's happening at the x's, and I'm there to pick up the pieces when my x chooses her man over the kids and breaks their hearts. It's not the best position to be in but I just know that the kids see what's happening and my taking the high road through all this will pay off in the end.<p>As for the Holidays, this is my first one alone myself. I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner yesterday for 46 relatives and had a great time. Since my x didn't cook anyway, I really didn't even miss her. I had a birthday last week and that really was hard. I know the Christmas is going to be super tough but my girls and I will pull through.<p>One day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time do whatever it takes to make yourself the best mom you can be. Focus on the items you can control and reality is that you can't control your marriage. You can foster the best relationship possible with the two most important people in your life, yourself and your daughter.<p>I wish there was some magic cure for your pain but it's just something that you have to continue to work through. As the days pass the wounds will begin to heal slowly as long as you are able to stop picking at them.<p>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

just bumping myself up as i would love to hear from anyone else out there.

LA - I am so sorry that you are having to go through this very hard time, but stick with us here at MB as ther are many of us going through the same thing you are. <p>I am a little concerned about your desparate desire to get your H back after the way is behaving. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Your daughter doesn't deserve to be treated that way either - why would you want him back? You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. He already knows what he wants and even though it's not what you want, it says a lot about his character. You aren't giving yourself enough credit. You are a good, devoted wife and there are lots of men out there who would love to have a wife like you. You have a lot to offer your daughter right now and you can make a much better life for both of you with the right attitude. It's time to focus on you and your daughter's happiness without him in your life. Be the best mom that you can, take care of yourself, and know in your heart that by doing what's right you will find peace and happiness.
If it's in your budget you might try some counseling now too.
Good luck!