how do you just leave your w and child and move on with the ow like nothing? i think the holidays being around the corner really have me down. but it amazes me how someone could just walk out on 10yrs of a marriage and act like we were just dating.<p>he has no remorse for what he has done.at least he doesn't show it .but deep down inside i really believe he just doesn't care and just moved on.<p>i still care about him but i have a lot of pain and anger in me.i feel so betrayed and he is just skipping through the gras LIKE NOTHING <p>is it possible to just move on like that so easily.don't people need time to find the problems in on relationship before moving on to the next.<p>how could you cheat on your wife for yrs and then jump into a live in relationship with ow and feel this is the one. that you are now a changed man?
meanwhile he was living with ow for months and still seeing me when he had visitation with our daughter?<p>can someone cheat for yrs and then just stop cold turkey?doesn't some therapy or something have to be worked out?i mean for yrs he was clowing around on me and now is saying ow is the one and he has learned for the relationship he had with me and will be faithful to her. <p>is that at all possible. i am trying to not focus so much on him but he has really hurt me.people think in time he will cheat on her.especially since they spend so much time together work together,do lunch and go home together and are together on the wkends and have the same days off since they work together.<p>i am really trying to focus on me and my daughter but after 10 yrs of being faithful i can't just get over it so easily.just as he has. he has really hurt me and i can't even look at his face right now due to the fact of how i am feeling. <p>the pain is tremendous and i feel very alone. i have my sister to lean on and i have my daughter to focus on but it makes me nuts seeing how someone could hurt you so bad and have no remorse. <p>do people really grow apart or do they just cheat b/c they the are jerks? love hurts so much right now i am afraid of even opening up to someone again

I think you have asked the questions that most of us wish we had the answer too. I have wondered the same things. the Only answer I have is that the WS has started moving on long before the BS, the BS is now playing catchup. I think you are doing the right things, staying focused on children and most importantly yourself, those are the things that help me get through. I am discovering that it is possible to trust again, as long as I remember that others are not my EX and deserve a fair chance. I am also learning that i don't have to settle for less than what I want now. What my EX did and the way she did things still hurts, but life gets better and I am growing to see that I really don't want her back into my life and I certainly don't need her to servive, I also see if I take a risk with someone else they can not hurt me unless I let them. Keep moving forward and taking care of yourself. By the way my ex did the exact same as yours and I don't believe I will ever know how someone can leave for a stranger.

I know how you feel my H has a new life & job(Alabama parole officer) was a cop till H got caught having A on-job, OW is trying to get D, H has a new story now, telling people I kicked him out making it seem like H was the victim, H doesnt tell about OW. H had a second chance to make our marriage work but kept seeing OW on-job, H acts like he never had a family or life for the last 17 years. All I see is a cold person who tells one lie after another H cant seem to tell the truth about anything lately.
m-17yrs
DD-4-28-2001
D-filed 9-2001
C-son-12yrs, s-28yrs gd-6yrs
OW- filed for D in Sept?

((((leftalone))))<p>No advice or insight just wanted to wish y'all a Happy Thanksgiving. I fully appreciate the emotions that you're going through right now but take a moment tomorrow and count your blessings.<p>I do have a curiousity question for you and please don't feel obligated to answer it or if you want to answer it privately you can e-mail me @ bill@salinaplaningmill.com<p>How is your family support system? <p>How is your friend support system?<p>Again y'all have a great Thanksgiving!!!<p>[ November 21, 2001: Message edited by: LostHusband ]</p>

i dont want to hurt you more but i want you to really look hard at the truth here for your own sanity OK?<p>did you not see him changing?<p>yes people DO grow apart and usually there are signs...less talking , less touching, less desire to do things as a couple....<p>do you feel like he still LIKED you ? <really NOT trying to hurt you but these are fair questions><p>i know a coulpe about to go thru this exact scenario...but i know the hubby better. they never talk about anything they dont HAVE to so if she dosent see the signs she will be surprized too when he leaves <she shouldnt be there has been NO intamacy since their child was born> <p>he has been unhappy for roughly 6 years and stayed for the child,,he finally is seeing how deeply the unhappiness is affecting his sanity [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>and yes he found another person to be emotionally supportive he couldnt GET it from W <p>whenhe finally leaves the only thing that will make him sad is not having the child everyday...and he will feel bad she has to be hurt<p>but you know what? you are dead WAYYY longer than you get to live this one life [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>do move on and let him go . you will find someone more right for you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]