November 21, 1999 I discovered my H's affair
....I went insane - thot my heart had been ripped outta my chest
.........Spent the next few months in shock
................January 15, 2000 H moved out
.........I went insane again – could barely walk around the house
..I was in a black hole of constant despair
................Spring 2000 - H couldn't decide between OW and me
......H finally decides – the marriage was over
..............I was in total shock still and in deep mourning
...........Almost killed myself
.......May 2000 – H moved in with OW (and still lives with her)<p>.....Reality starting to set in – H not ever coming home<p>.........Starting to experience life on my own<p>.......Having many, many days with deep, dark set-backs<p>October 2000 – End up in hospital with stress-related ailment<p>...November 2000 – 1 year anniversary of D-Day – Totally depressed<p>December 2000 – Spent first Christmas w/o H<p>..Started the New Year totally depressed<p>....Determined to move on – took all his pics and stuff outta the house<p>
..Still having some really down days – few and far between<p>
.....Began process of totally disconnecting with him financially<p>
...August 2001 – Started looking at Divorce process<p>
.Romatice Feelings for H almost totally gone <p>
H and I working on Divorce process – no other contact<p>
..Feel really sorry to H – But nothing I can do<p>November 2001 – Thankful to be alive. Have hope for my future.
..God’s helped me thru the darkest hours.
God’s shown me that I’m valuable and beautiful
..God’s shown me that I have a future.
I am happy.<p>
As you can see, the highs and lows are less now. Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow MB-ers!<p>Aloha,
Ms.O
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Hello, Ms. O - I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I too, feel so thankful that I have survived and my life is actually better now that I do not have my ex-H's neglect and emotional abuse to deal with. Like you, I was devastated, wanted to die, and thought that I would never be happy again. But thanks to God's love and peace, and my family and friends, I am at a good place now - a place of peace and acceptance. No way that it was an easy trip getting here, though!! It's hard going through being thrown away by the person we loved most in the world. I can think of nothing worse. I, like you had no children either. H was sterile - left me for a woman with a 5-year old so he could have someone to play Daddy with. At one time I would have given anything to save our marriage. But I realize that he is not the kind of person that I can ever trust or respect again. Without those two things, a marriage cannot survive. Too bad for him - this is his loss!! Take care and have a wonderful holiday!!!
Lady M<p>[ November 21, 2001: Message edited by: Lady M ]</p>

Thanks, Lady M!<p>I agree...it's their loss! <p>I plan on having a relaxing, peaceful, thankful Thanksgiving. You too.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O

Ms O,<p>I was glad to hear that things are going ok for you.<p>My D day is exactly one month before yours...Mine 10-21-99.....<p>Yes, we have alot to be thankful for.....
I keep reminding myself that things happen for a reason....oh how many times I have thought "why"
I just feel that the good lord above has a awesome plan for you, me and all our other MB friends....we must keep the faith... even when the sad/angry times come.<p>I like reading you're posts... they make me feel "normal"<p>Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day...<p>
Blessings,<p>s

Ms O,
you are wonderful!
You gave me hope that maybe I'll be well again.
Knowing my story you can see we are almost at the same time points.<p>The largest difference is that I am still hardly depressed (last news about the baby comming) and every day it seems harder.<p>Not like you I still can't find the strength needed to continue with my life.
Unfortunately I can't even cut off myself from him financially (this is other story).<p>But I am really glad to see that you are so well.<p>love to you