Hey everyone i talked to the stbx tonight and told him that i don't want to stop him from being a father. I don't want to be the reason he is keeping from being a part of our babies life i told him. He said that i have hurt him so much that he has decided on what he plans to do. He said that i need to stop writing him and calling him to tell him about our baby. He said don't send anymore picture either because he will send them back. Basically he said he has decided to not be a part of our son's life and that i will find someone to take his place. I can't believe how much he doesn't care about our baby how can he be this way. Our son doesnt deserve this, he deserves to have a loving mommy and daddy who want to be a part of his life. Parents who are unselfish and put his needs before their own selfish needs. I just don't understand how men can be this way or how the stbx can treat his own son like a nobody. I'm done trying to make my babys father and stbx H take a part in raising our child. He wanted to be our son's father so bad and he was so excited to become a father. But ended up abandoning us just 2 weeks before the baby was born and moving to another state to live with his mommy and daddy. I just don't understand why he has to be so selfish and just worry about his problems and not care one bit about his own son's future..What a #$%^&* i can't believe him why can't i just accept his choice, it's hard to just believe what he has told me. Am i in denial??..Or am i in the fog what is wrong with me..Why can't i just get it in my head that he has left us and doesnt care to be responsible?????

Why JC's mom? Because you are a hurt. That is what happens when a man rejects his family for no good reason. No closure is provided. Nothing for you to work with and move on. <p>So since he is not providing you with anything and you have a little one who is depending on you, what is a mother to do? Survival. Think survival first. <p>Your motherly instincts will kick in and survival for you and your child will be your priority. With or without your H, you will not abandon your child. If your H chooses to abandon your child that is his choice and he must live with those consquences. <p>My H left our family. I had a miscarraige last year and another one this year. During that time the OW claimed 3 pregos (never happened, just kept threatening). I had severe anxiety attacks and even contemplated suicide. We have 1 child. I let my H know that he had abandoned his family. He knew that walking out the door. <p>H and OW tried to convince him that he was not abandoning his family, OW even tried to say it was good for H to leave his child and that his child would understand. Dumb OW. <p>During this time, life still went on and so did our family. Through it all, we survived. I share my story so that you will see that you can survive. Keep posting here. Learn from others what they went through and what you may have to go through. Be prepared and strong. Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart. <p>Here is a hint: Do no analyze all your H's actions and words. See if you can distinguish between the lousy excuses and valid reasons that come from your H's mouth and conduct. Your taking the time to do that along with continued research here at MB (reading some of the books will help) will help you focus on bettering yourself. <p>Heads will turn and notice the improved you. Hopefully one of those heads will be that of your H finally seeing his loving family. Missing out on your child's growing years will be his loss. Never to be repeated again. <p>Take care,
L.

JC's Mommy<p>I understand what you are going through. My H left me and my 2 children (7 and 4 months) purposely in order to make me "wake up and realize what a good husband I had". He had no remorse at the time this happened, which was in September. It was 4 days before my daughter's 7th birthday and before the rent was due. He had a lot of spiteful words to say to me. He trashed my house somewhat (while I was not home) because he was upset. However, it had to be the grace of God in me because I didn't get upset or anything. I knew that my and my H's marriage was over, but this situation was the straw that broke the camel's back.<p>I used to keep asking myself of how a man can abandon his children? How can he not want to sacrifice for them? I will never know and do not want to know. Thank God for mothers.<p>Now after H sees that I don't want him back ever again in my life, he wants to go to marriage counseling and work on communication. I asked him years ago to do this and he replied with saying that we didn't need counseling. It is too late now. Your husband will see down the line that he has made the biggest mistake of his life. He can't see it yet because he has the OW who is obviously insecure when it comes down to you. She knows that your H has deep feelings for you so she is going to do what ever he wants her to do. You, however, are stronger than that and don't have to be anyone's door step. Be strong and keep your head up high.