This is the first time for me on this board and it's great. As my name will tell I have made many mistakes in my life especially over the last two years. On March 9, 2000 I left my wife of 9 1/2 years. We have two beautiful daughters (4 and 7). We had our problems like everyone else but I also had alot of personal and emotional problems. I thought that I could be happier on my own out chasing skirts. Of course this was wrong. I was the biggest jerk and pushed for a divorce to be done as quickly as possible. I closed everyone out, family, friends, and especially her. I thought I knew everything in the world and went out to be on my own. I had met another woman and jumped right into a relationship with her in what I thought was love. Wrong. I hurt alot of people going through the divorce, said alot of mean things that I wish I never would have. Now, due to certain serious personal issues I want my ex-wife back. I have been going to counseling for about 4 months and have learned so many things about myself. I wish I would have made the counseling move many years ago but I don't think I would have had the right attitude for it to work. I never stopped loving her. I did everything to convince myself that divorce was the right thing and I wasn't going to listen to anyone that would try to tell me I was wrong. Your real a-hole attitude. Now I spend every minute of my days regretting what I have done. She was my best friend, my lover and the mother of my children. We have talked about reconciling, serious talks, but she is very hesitent which I don't blame her for. I hurt her and will have to live with that hurt for the rest of my life. When we are together, talking or anything, you can feel the love between us. I know she loves me, she has told me so, and I love her more then anything but I feel like the damages I created will not offer me another opportunity. I was hoping if anyone out there could offer some advice or words of encouragement on reconciliations I would appreciate it. I'm keeping my hope but I'm scared that my past will be the downfall of my life. If anything, I hope that if someone thinks that just because they disagree with their partner that these are serious enough issues for divorce think again. Take my word, there is nothing worse then the regrets you feel from not trying harder at your marriage. I will not give up though. With God's guidance I know we can work things out. One final request, please pray for me and my ex-wife so that we may realize that nothing is beyond repair. Thanks for reading.

My prayers are with you brother.<p>I too left my wife and all our problems to be with the O/W. I too wish I could tell the world not to do what I have done. I am trying to work my way back with her, but she does not want to allow that to happen. I am afraid that she will divorce me after the holidays. <p>As for advice, pick up a copy of the book, Torn Asunder by David Clark. <p>My prayers are with you. Keep trusting God to work what must seem like the impossable.

M of M - you are a dear dear individual.....you have no idea how many of us women have prayed for months and years that our husbands would come to their senses. My H left me nearly 6 years ago and I still pray for his salvation and love him as much now- perhaps more - inspite of all he has and continues to put me through. I am struggling to get through the holiday without him, and although we have been divorced for 4 years I still desire a complete conversion such as yours. Perhaps you need to back off a little and not pursue or push so hard.....if she has no other man in her life right now - you have a great deal in your favor. Get involved with church - take the kids to her church - send her poetry in the mail -- make a picnic for her --ROMANCE! I would also suggest joint counseling with another Christian couple or counselor...and be accountable to yourself and others morally. I too would have trouble trusting my Ex-H .. yet if he committed his life to Christ and Christ-like behavior and became involved with good male mentors - that would go a really long way with me. My ex-H left and we divorced after several H. affairs - he continues to live this dangerous lifestyle as I pray for protection for him, my son. It doesn't ever seem to get as good as fast as we like - but commit it all to God and let Him drive.....my prayers are with you and I am so happy you have decided to try - Mary Beth

I'm so glad to hear that a man wants his ex back. I want mine back but don't know how to get him back because he is seeing antoher woman. I would like help on getting him back. Mary

It takes alot of strengtth and courage to stop and look at yourself the way you did, it takes a big person to admitt they were wrong and to ask for forgivness,You are doing all you can do right now, keep doing these things it is only by a consitant action that you will gain her trust and respect, be patient and keep working on yourself, she will see the changes and start trusting again. Keep up the good work.

Wow..This post really brought tears to my eyes..I want my husband back to but he is convinced that divorce is what he wants and that he never loved me..I just wish i would believe that and just get on with my life and raise our baby..but i can't give up having faith in him for some reason maybe i'm dumb for hanging on...

Man of Mistakes...you sound like you've really taken steps to improve your life. She will see that. It is natural for her to be scared because of the pain and hurt she has felt.<p>It is hard for someone to get their love out of their heart. You should feel very proud that you have taken steps to try and improve yourself and I know from personal experiences that things like this can be worked out.Just continue to tell her how much you love her and keep up the hope.<p>If nothing else you owe it to your daughters to try and work things out and I have a feeling she knows that. Just don't give up and pray everyday for God's strength....he won't let you down.

Dear M-O-M,<p>Unfortunately you will have to show by your life & hard evidence that your whole attitude has changed, and that you've done some growing up. Be honest & open with her, as you hope only for the restoration of your mutual friendship.<p>This is a rite of passage you will have to follow, which will only work if you're sincerely primarily concerned with winning back her trust & respect, and even if you give your all, be prepared that it may still not be enough. Be happy if you can rescue your friendship only. If you show that this is your genuine concern above all else,(it HAS to be real, do NOT try to push the romantic love angle), you may lay a foundation of sorts for the future. If she finds a partner different from you, do not be petulant & hurt, be happy for her, and show it. A few years may pass before sufficient healing has occured for her to look at you with new eyes.<p>Be the man of integrity she missed when you were out skirt-chasing, and accept that she is wary of you. Offer her friendship. Be patient. Accept that it MAY not happen.
Live the moment<p>Good luck
Muzohead