I know everyone is more than likely sick of my sobbbb stories..I just really need advice on how to save my marriage..I've done everything everyone tells you not to do..I told him how much i loved him and believed in him and i just take the rejection over and over again..<p>He left me and my baby...But i blame myself for alot of the reasons why he left. I was emotionally cold and numb while i was pregnant and angry at the world..I would push him away and when he wanted to spend time with me i would leave and let him be by himself..He wanted to be with me all the time and do things together..But i was scared of being rejected and hurt..So i ignored him and acted like i didn't love him.. Because i was scared if he knew the real me and how much i get hurt so easily i thought he wouldn't want me..I was raised with the idea that those who cared and had feelings were weak and easily taken advantage of...So i shut myself off to the one person i loved the most and pushed him away forever..<p>I want my husband to be in my life and help raise our son..He never got the chance to really see the baby he's been gone since 2 weeks before i had the baby...The night that he left i said some really awful things and i know that was the last straw for him and he gave up...I didn't care before he had left...But when i realized how much i loved him i started to change because i didn't want to loose him forever..but i have...<p>Please what should i do..I don't want to give up..But at the same time i'm scared if i just ignore him and not talk to him he will meet someone and i will never be able to get my husband back...He told me that he realized that he didn't love me and that he lied to himself..Why am i having such a hard time believeing that???..Am i in denial..I just can't believe that he doesnt care about me and our son..He may hundreds of miles away across the united states but i still feel i can't give up on us..Am i stupid for thinking he cares..He told me the last time we had spoken that i had hurt him so bad that he doesnt feel like he is the same person inside anymore..If he didn't care then why would he hurt so much???..Is he going to be emotionally shut off to me forever and i should just give up...I've done everything to change the way i was i'm going to therapy...and now i feel no more being numb...but the awful thing is i realize how much i love him...is it to late...i need advice..I dont want to give up, but should i???

JCs Mommy, Take care of you. Are you in individual therapy, on antidepressants, working out side the home, or just home with baby. It is hard enough being a new mom, and even worse to have a spouse walk out on you. Pray for him - but take care of you. Be kind to your spouse when you get a chance, but when he sees you taking care of you and going on without him he will start to notice.<p>Try that. Love yourself. Do something nice for you today.<p>I have to go to bed, but will be cking in on you. Prayers to you. You have a wonderful baby, try to love and enjoy him as this is a special time in his life. Make a scrapbook , don't forget to take pics of the baby through your sadness... You will make it.. Go to church and get involved there! Make friends and build a support network for you. He may come home yet! Pray for him!<p>Goodnight ! Lisa [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

He probably does care. He probably does love you. <p>I may be out of line here so reject this if I'm to much aff base.<p>He has been called a dog so much that he started barking.. Then the man in him came out and he left as a safety measure for his own sanity. <p>He moved miles away.. I agree w/ the above post, and you should do good things for yourself, Heal yourself. I would recomend sometime in the next month or so, send him a letter w/ a picture of you child. Send him a couple and add a few w/ you and the child together. With the letter send a brief note that says something like. Wish you were here. Don't get all emotional. Don't talk about yourself, just you and the child. Happy pictures.
I would put a date on the back of the pics and maybe on one of them add your phone number. Be sutle. With out question, don't push him or try to make him feel guilty. <p>This is going to take time. Don't rush him. Work on you, and your progress will show through the pictures. <p>Tex.<p>The bottom line... Keep working on you and it will show.