Almost a year ago, I found that my ex-wife was cheating on me... Well everything went down hill from there with our six year marriage. We separated, and six months later, divorced. We have two very adorable children, and even though we have gone our separate ways, the children remain the top priority for us both. After the separation, I took it really hard. I blamed myself. It took several months, and a lot of support from friends, family, and clergyman to see the world a new again. I started lifting weights again, and was seeing a counsiler. It now has almost been a year since my ex-wife and my separation.<P>When everything started, I vowed to myself that I would love again. I did at the time want to save what marriage I had left, but knew I was just going around in a circle of dispear with only one ore. In June, I ran into a friend of my sister. We have always talked, and got along great. Well, afterwards, I went to my sisters to get her phone number. My sister said that she was not going to step on any toes, and would ask her if it was OK. Her friend (K) has a daughter my sons age, and she just adors me, and I her as well. (K) said yes, I could have her number. I called (K), and we talked four several hours. In August, I took her to Walkins Glen for a race. Afterwards, things were going really good. I had a lot of strong loving feelings for her, and told her what she meant to me. A couple days after that, she said that she wanted it the way it was before, to be platonic... I was confused. I would ask her why, but she would not tell me...<P>About three weeks ago, she started e-mailing me again. She said she would be in my area, and asked if I would like to do lunch... I jumped at the offer. Ever since, we have been e-mailing one another. things are again going really good. We have talked about the distance we are from one another (25 Minutes), and distance from where she lives, and where I work (1 hour). We agreed to take it one step at a time. <P>Like I said, everything is going great. I guess if there is anyone who has been in this situation, or has some dating advice, I would love to hear it.<P>We both view one another a possible ideal mates, but the hell that we both have gone through, are a little timid to jump it. She means the world to me, and I tell her. At times, I fear that that scares her.

Hey vaughn, sorry to hear about your divorce but it seems as if you are handling everything normally, as with the divorce and trying to get on with your life. I think with the situation you are in, my suggestion to you is to take it slow and see what happens. I wouldn't rush into another relationship until you know for sure you are ready. My suggestion for the both of you is to use what you both have gone through in past relationships. Use all of the good and bad times to help you through other relationships (such as the one you are in). I have always thought of everything as a learning tool..things happen for a reason..maybe your divorce was meant for you to be with the present gal you are with now. I believe that when you go through bad times..your heart just grows stronger and stronger Good luck to you both [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

Thank you skyangel... <P>Yesterday we made a lot of head way. Although she still wants to take it really slow, which is alright by me. There were a lot of questions asked, and answers returned. Although she feels it is to soon for me to love her, she wants to plan a future, looking at all the possibilities... She even asked me if I wanted to get remarried.<P>I just wanted to again thank you skyangel for your advice... I am a firm believer in fate. We both have a lot of traits the each other have been looking for... It is true that the hard times do truely make you a better person in the end... (SMILE)<P>

vaughn,<BR> Sounds like you are on the right track,take things slow and let things fall where they want,I hope you get what you want.<BR> So you took her to the Glen, thats cool I'm a nacsar nut my self, My husband and I...well we are separated, I'm hopeing for things to work out, but any some of our best times were when we were at a track or even in front of the TV watching a race, in fact sundays are some of my hardest days cuz I really feel alone watching without him, But I still have the kids to bug me durnging the race <BR>He is comming to visit this month and I hope we get closer to my dream (by the way we lived in alaska, and I moved to missouri)of us getting back what we had for 8 years.<BR> Any way, you keep your chin up and dont let it get you down, we ladys are once bitten twice shy, and she may want to be sure she is not a rebound case for you.<BR>Take care<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

Hey, by the way, some of us that have been on here a bit, talk in the topic FRIENDS BEING FRIENDS,come and visit us <P>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

Thank You LMS... I hope that you get everything you want... I hope that she knows that she is not a rebound case for me... I know that she is not since the fellings that I have had have been since the middle of June. During this time, I have been very outgoing. I have read several relationship books... Yes a male reading how to be a more romantic person... Although I have always been a fairly romantice person, one can never have to much knowledge in this area. I know that patience will prevail. God bless...